The blow-dried, plastic smile-bearing Fox 5 reporter asks Jared Crystal what happened. Jared, the very cultural opposite of the reporter in his ponytail and "Republicans For Voldemort" T-shirt, explains that he was simply sitting in his car, reading 1984—an ordinary night—when a tree limb came crashing down! A scary situation! The reporter grimaces at the disheveled man with the disastrous car. "Reading 1984, and look what it got you!" the reporter says. "Next time read something more easy and calm!" Jared graciously blames Arbor Day, rather than punching the reporter in the face. Click to watch the underlying tension of the media's culture war in action.

Viewers of Expelled, the creationist propaganda documentary in the first week of its cinematic release, should not be surprised by the journalistic methods of its producer and narrator, Ben Stein. Expelled's fervently religious maker-better known as a TV host, monotone actor and columnist-goes for shock value with the contention (by a Jew, no less!) that the genocide of the Holocaust had its origins in Darwinism's elevation of the survival of the fittest; but Stein's made outrageous charges before, labeling comedienne Joan Rivers a lesbian and accusing financier Michael Milken of running an "alternative government". Richard Dawkins, defender of Darwin in the movie, said that Stein took quotes out of context or pretended that the interview was for a fair-and-balanced exposition entitled, innocently, Crossroads. Well, duh. Stein has long made up the truth, much as God conjured up Ben Stein as part of some twisted plan for life on Earth. Read on for one of the disturbed journalist's greatest acts of journalistic creation, when he pretended he sat shiva with Rivers when he'd never even met her, and then defended hearsay as a practice sanctified by the Watergate investigators. (By the way, could somebody please explain how Stein still has his column in the New York Times' Sunday Business section?)

Ben Stein's big movie about how evolution haters are ruthlessly marginalized is working its way toward release, and in the meantime the loopy New York Times columnist is having fun marginalizing real scientists who want to see the film, including two who appeared in the movie and were thanked in the credits. One evolutionary biologist, PZ Myers of the University of Minnesota, signed up on the Web for a free screening of Stein's film, Expelled, then got tossed out of line because he wasn't sympathetic to the cause. But his buddy, Darwinist Richard Dawkins of Oxford, got in - this is what happens when you try and hold a creationist pep rally while an atheism conference is in town - and filed a review of the film (shocker: thought it sucked), including this summary of how Stein twisted his words:

New Republic literary editor Leon Wieseltier is unhappy that the New York Times printed an article about how sharia isn't so bad but they'd never print an article about how awesome the Torah is. We weren't crazy about the New York Times running that Styles piece about hipster farmers but you don't see us writing 1,000 words on it, Leon. [TNR]

Popular character actor and mendacious old fool Ben Stein has a little movie coming out about how "BIG SCIENCE" doesn't want you to know the truth about evolution. Stein salutes the scientists who are bad enough to question Darwinism in his upcoming documentary Expelled, about an unscrupulous Nixonite hack who parlays his unlikely pop cultural fame into an inexplicable career as an entertainer/propaganist. Rex Sorgatz asks, "do you remember when Ben Stein wasn't bat shit crazy?" Actually, uh, not really. Trailer after the jump! [Fimoculous]

It's no secret that Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly is a media punchingbag. So when Intern Mary heard about his recent claim that homeless veterans don't exist, she began to wonder if Bill's comments were taken out of context and spun into oblivion by crazed bloggers like they always seem to be. Does Bill only talk about patriotism and veterans when he's trying to make a point? Yearning to discover the real Bill, she dove into Billoreilly.com once more to find out just what Bill has said about vets in the past. The results of the search, in handy chart form (along with representative samples!), after the jump.

"Hollywood director Robert Greenwald" and the Daily News's Rush & Molloy made Bill O'Reilly very sad when they send some homeless vets over to Fox News's New York headquarters to deliver a petition to Bill O'Reilly about how they actually do exist. O'Reilly's ambush producer exclusively revealed that most of the picketing homeless vets don't even watch Fox. Then Bill played a clip from Xanadu. A Rush & Molloy stringer was also sort of abused, amusingly. Clip after the jump!

Back when John Edwards was running for president of America's Liberal White Men, he'd mention, at every opportunity, that there are 200,000 homeless veterans across our glorious nation. Hearing this upset Bill O'Reilly, who decided then that such a thing is impossible. Bill first insisted that there was no such thing as a homeless vet, then eventually ceded that there might be some, but probably not that many. He's right! There are only 196,000 homeless vets. Some of them protested outside Fox's headquarters yesterday, with the intention of providing Bill with a petition. Press coverage of the protest was minimal, though an O'Reilly producer showed up. The producer, Jesse Watters, is O'Reilly's official "ambush" man, and probably the smarmiest fuck on the planet. According to Radar, he spent a great deal of time accusing vets of, uh, calling our troops "baby-killers." The Culture War no longer even follows its own internal logic, does it? Anyway—there's video from the organizers. It's after the jump. [NYDN, Radar]

New York's media establishment may have decided that it loves the Wire. (Slate editor Jacob Weisberg was among the talking heads comparing the HBO drama to a great 19th century novel in the promo.) But David Simon, creator of the Baltimore-based show, doesn't return the regard. To be sure, Simon is generally bitter, holds a grudge and if you ask him what he thinks about Washingtonians, he'll say "fuck them." But the man reserves his real disdain for the East Coast Fantasy Island of New York. This is a 2006 link, but worth reprising. Baltimore blogger Eebmore transcribed a talk Simon gave at Eugene Lang College of the New School (famous alumni include: Ani DiFranco, Matisyahu, Sufjan Stevens and...Emily Gould!) and it's one of the best takedowns of New York we've heard. "You don't know shit anymore!" and then some, after the jump.