A second crew of Scientology ministers and medics are now in Haiti at John Travolta's behest. This time he was literally behind the wheel of the Boeing 707, wife Kelly Preston by his side.

Scientologists have mobilized to seize on the promotional and recruitment opportunities presented by the horror going on in Haiti, and John Travolta has personally arranged to fly "volunteer ministers" to Haiti to inflict his junk science on victims there.

We left out a Harold Ford associate: cult leader Sun Myung Moon.

An Australian senator has called for a criminal investigation into Scientology, alleging that the cult is "an abusive, manipulative, violent and criminal organization." The senator's name is Nick Xenophon. This is going to be good.

Talking Points Memo is reporting on the ongoing implosion of a right-wing newspaper. All because the cult leader owners are having a family feud!

More juicy revelations courtesy of Marty Rathbun, the defector who's going all-out with deep insiders' knowledge of Scientology. This time, it's Tom Cruise: he offered to give deviant members a beatdown, and that "drills" were performed whenever he was oncoming.

This wonderfully creepy man, of the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Eldorado, Texas, faces 20 years in jail. But it was all just polygamist love, and you don't know and you weren't there he says.

Ruh-roh. The St. Petersburg Times—Scientology HQ's hometown paper and perpetual investigative thorn in their side—has unleashed another scathing report on the religion. This time, it's on the lengths they'll go bringing deserters back, including Tom Cruise's wedding chef.

The Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is taking bets on which celebrity will be the next to turn their backs on L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta leads the pack at 9:4 odds, and Tom Cruise is at 50:1. Place your markers.

Tommy Davis, the latest chief spokesman and outraged-interview-cutter-offer for the Church of Scientology, is a callow Hollywood brat, Tom Cruise hanger-on, and "drug revert" who thinks "L. Ron Hubbard is the coolest guy ever."

If you didn't get married to someone you don't know in a sea of 20,000 cult members yesterday, you may have missed your chance. It looks like the Reverend Sun Myung Moon has performed his final mass wedding.

You don't mess with Oprah. She's one of the most powerful people in the media world. And, actually, the world as a whole. Viewing the following video, however, one wonders how she made it so far...

The Scientologists had their henchmen remove that scary jargon video. But we captured it.

Scientology's quest to perfect humanity never rests, not even on the weekend. Which is why this member of the cult's elite "Sea Org" spent his Saturday yelling at an infidel about his inevitable and pathetic death.

Want to work in one of Scientology's fresh new "Ideal Org" churches? Then get ready to put on your 20-piece uniform, mandatory for all cult staff. Planetary humanity is not going to be perfected by slobs, after all.

The St. Petersburg Times - who we last heard from when publishing a report on scary Scientology leader David Miscavige - are at it again. They're moving forward with more reporting on accounts from Scientology defectors, basically waging war.

Salon has a great post by a doctor about medical quackery at the Huffington Post, where a columnist recently suggested colon cleansing could treat swine flu. This is the downside of HuffPo's open, unpaid model — and culty recruiter.

John Travolta's rep is knocking down reports that he is contemplating leaving Scientology. Of course, Scientology can be a tough habit to kick if you are, say, a closeted gay man who was forced to privately confess in auditing sessions.

In Silicon Valley, the line between cult and company can be thin. Leave it to Steve Newcomb to toe that boundary, with a San Francisco "idea factory" that sounds as much like a religious order as a startup.

Mediabistro has a disturbing tradition of "Merry Christmas" video-postcards. This year, Laurel plays Santa and if you have the stomach, watch the whole thing here. As our Christmas gift, we've got an almost-bearable 15-second clip.