Now that all the networks have revealed their fall schedules to potential advertisers—CBS presented its equally clueless lineup this morning—it's time for cable to shine. Not surprisingly, TBS started off with the network's new leading man, Conan O'Brien.

This compilation of David Caruso's best CSI: Miami one liners is incredibly entertaining, because we all know that the best part of the show is watching Caruso dramatically don his sunglasses and spout some wisdom. Yeeeaaaahhhhh!

Today at Gawker.TV, a full episode of Conan O'Brien's failed pilot Lookwell, Better Off Ted's filthy gag reel, CSI: Miami retold with the help of Tracy Jordan, How I Met Your Mother's musical letdown, and Morgan Freeman weighs in on Conan.

Crime procedurals are so predictable they have become pointless to watch in their entirety. So let's catch you up on the latest CSI: Miami. We edited it down to one minute, with some help from Tracy Jordan.

It was a miserable, terrible year full of death and loss. Here are a few of the things we will miss, and the things that we wish had died in their place. Please offer your own suggestions in comments.

CSI: Diddy. CBS announced today that Sean Combs has agreed to a two-episode guest-starring stint on CSI: Miami, in which the versatile rapper/mogul/actor "will portray a prosecutor who doesn't get along with police Lt. Horatio Caine, played by David Caruso." Little else was disclosed about his appearance beyond a note that Diddy's episodes will air in mid-winter before his character is vanquished in short order in a dramatic, best-of-five, shades-shedding duel with Caruso. [AP]

Click to viewBoomp3.com TV’s number one supercop, David Caruso, put his sharp detective skills to work and finally solved The Mystery of the Great Pumpkin that has been plaguing the L.A. area for the last few years. Tilting his shades down, Caruso said, “Looks like Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater came home to roost,” and off in the distance the familiar strains of The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled” started to play. According to Caruso, the Great Pumpkin wasn’t one giant pumpkin, but multiple pumpkins standing on top of each other while wearing a large orange trench coat. As a reward, Caruso was given his choice of any pumpkin and heaping amount of praise and thanks. [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Scratch an egomaniac and you're sure to find a sensitive soul just a sincere hug or two away from a healthy, humanitarian lifestyle. At least that's our read on ginger terror David Caruso, whose tyranny on the set of CSI: Miami can only come from a place of haunted concern for something larger than himself — say, perhaps, upholding the dramatic tradition of sunglasses-removal, or, if we are to believe the civilian investigation to which we were tipped this morning, the whereabouts of a fugitive stalking suspect he (and reportedly the FBI) might prefer to see located sooner than later.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

As a rule, the sequel is never quite as satisfying as the original, but this follow-up to the YouTubes sensation "Seven Minutes and Fifteen Mind-Blowing Seconds Of David Caruso One-Liners," spotlighting only the times the dialogue-devouring star supplements his patented delivery by shielding his eyes from both the punishing Miami sun and his own actorly brilliance, has its own charms: note that just before the one minute mark, we're treated to a sequence in which Caruso bolts from the frame after he's done his bit, as if anxious to remind the director, "Now that...is how you end a cold open," before heading off in dogged pursuit of another line to murder.