Tech makes you giddy. Tech makes you fly. Tech makes you sumo wrestle. These are just a few of the things I learned in the whiplash-inducing commercial for the BBC America show Gizmodo: The Gadget Testers, which premieres tonight. (Full disclosure: Gizmodo is owned by Gawker Media and that is 100 percent of the reason why I am reviewing a commercial.) Apparently featuring at least one person (Joel Johnson) that I hear I work within feet of but cannot be sure of because there are too many crappy TV shows to watch and Mariah Carey gifs to make for me to swivel around and survey the Gizmodo area of the Gawker office, Gizmodo: The Gadget Testers none the less seems like it's full of swell, fun-loving people whose gizmos make them say, "Yeah!" "Whoo!" and "Holy crap!" Spoiler alert: It's pretty clear that the gizmos passed their tests. It's pretty clear that the show does, too: The breathlessly frenetic 31 seconds of this ad spot just fly by. It's an exquisitely paced commercial.

The woman was dragged away by security, but she later chased the soccer player down the street and then aired the whole thing on her TV show, with impunity. TMZ cries sexist double standard, because a man could never do that to a lady and get away with it. But we're wondering if the real double standard they're mad about is that they're like totally not allowed to crotch-grab celebrities. They asked, and Harvey said no.

A crazy man may be videotaping YOUR crotch. And putting the footage on the internet for all to see! The Post, in what is (trend alert) almost surely another story developed solely by poking around on YouTube, alerts the city to a man known only as "househead7d5." He enjoys taping men's crotches—at a phone booth, on the bus, on the subway—and posting the videos online, with clever comments like, "guy on the phone showin a little......gay sweatpants bulge phonebooth NYC," or, even creepier, "I love it when they fall asleep! not the biggest basket but he was a cutie pie nonetheless!" So who is this penis-peering multimedia madman? After the jump, we will investigate!

Historians and scientists have exhumed the remains of legendary castrato Farinelli in Italy to study the anatomical effects of castration carried out on young boys to turn them into high-pitched stars of the opera.

We went looking for the promised Judy Miller-penned report about how she was sent to prison to break her brother out, or whatever the story will be once the lawyers vet it, but we very, very quickly got distracted. As did, if the most emailed list is any indication, everyone else.