When actual details are still scarce, make like the Post and turn to alliteration:

The details are scarce, but at least it's official: Tennessee authorities have arrested former Women's Wear Daily reporter and sexual assault suspect Peter Braunstein. About fucking time.

In that case, you'd think they'd put 'em in separate cells.

Here's a Christmas-season tale to warm your otherwise black and withered heart. From today's News:

Yesterday we briefly made mention of the bust of the Cartoon Network, one of New York's lovely marijuana delivery services. The Smoking Gun has pictures of the seized goods, which are predictably fresh and and amiably presented.

While former Women's Wear Daily reporter and "allegedly suspected" sexual predator Peter Braunstein is believed to be traipsing about the wilds of the upper midwest, his victim has been doing her best to go on with her life. The woman, a former W employee who Braunstein is believed to have molested for 12 hours on Halloween, has hired lawyer Lynda Goldman to "to encourage the media to behave in a responsible manner so that this victim isn t victimized further." Ooooh — a personal watchdog. Totes smooth. Says Goldman:

We're not mocking the matching covers of our local tabs — the shooting death of NYPD officer Dillon Stewart certainly merits a synergistic show of respect. But while the Daily News is strong and silent, the Post just couldn't resist the power hed, could they? Way to ruin a moment, dicks.

More details are emerging about former Women's Wear Daily reporter Peter Braunstein's quality time spent in Ohio, where he allegedly fled after being suspected of sexually assaulting a former co-worker. Apparently Braunstein, while posing as a Hollywood location scout, had dinner on November 7 with a Cleveland bar owner:

Finally some news this weekend on former Women's Wear Daily reporter Peter Braunstein, who's been on the run since allegedly sexually assaulting a former co-worker on Halloween. According the several eyewitness accounts, Braunstein fled to Cleveland a few days after the incident, where he posed as a location scout of Nip/Tuck and told others he was a retired Los Angeles cop. Under the aliases Peter Bronson, Peter Brown, and Peter Grant, P-Bra's Cleveland adventure included stays at cheap hotels, smoking pot, blowing rails, and hitting the strip clubs. So unfair how the bad guys have all the fun.

• French Vogue and its editor Carine Roitfeld are, of course, the hotness, which is why they didn't back down from letting Kate Moss guest-edit their December issue. You can't keep a hot bitch down. [The Daily]
• You can, however, keep her on-and-off boyfriend, Pete Moss, under arrest for posession of Class A drugs, a category which includes all the good stuff. [AP]• Because 50 Cent is into having sex ain't into making love, he plans on creating big, blue dildos in his own likeness. How thoughtful. [FemaleFirst]
• How to deal with the loud late-night Disneyhell that is the LES? Says one Curbed reader: "I'd suggest that instead of an earlier last call, they simply stop PATH train and Staten Island ferry service, and increase the bridge/tunnel tolls to $100 at 2 AM." [Curbed]
• As it turns out, Elaine Van Hoorne — the much-photographed hipster carnie and partner of One-Half NelSon — is just another damn Cornell grad. Figures. [Cornell]
• Who's really stealing Christmas? The politically correct, godless freak-monkeys, that's who. Praise Christ and his Mas! [Zulkey]
• Do we believe that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes would really have their wedding registry at Neiman Marcus? And that the most expensive item is only $430? [Just Jared]
• The breakup of Nick and Jessica leaves no man unscathed. [The Post Show]
• CBS is wooing Katie Couric with promises of that which makes a morning show host truly great: body oil and Manolos. [LAT]

After three annoyingly creepy Craigslist postings on the whereabouts of sexual assault suspect and former Women's Wear Daily reporter Peter Braunstein (the author of which made a shadowy appearance on Fox News), we find the following to be nothing short of fantastic:

• Irate supermodel Naomi Campbell, having had more than her fair share of niceties on Tyra Banks's show, turns her wrath on Nicole Richie, who "disobeyed" Campbell by hanging out with Nicky Hilton. Wait — Nicole is still friends with Nicky? Does Paris know? And how do they acheive such a dangerous balance? [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• As it turns out, Long Island's body armor king David H. Brooks — he who just gave his daughter a $10 million Bat Mitzvah with 50 Cent and Aerosmith at the Rainbow Room — is under investigation by the SEC. But at least his little princess is happy! [Fox411 via Page Six]
• Rapper Jay-Z spends two years writing his memoir with writer Dream Hampton, only to freak and refuse its publication. We appreciate being thus spared. [R&M]
• Jayson Blair overheard at a hotel bar in Columbus, Ohio: "I kept rooting for Judy [Miller] to fuck up the paper more than I did, but not even she managed that." At least someone's rooting for Judy. [Page Six]
• Houseboy Kevin Federline refuses to see a therapist with wife Britney Spears, opting instead for a far more traditional session with a psychic. [Scoop]

It's the new STAB BABY.

Another day, and yet another Craigslist post ruminating on the state of suspected fake fireman and former Women's Wear Daily staffer Peter Braunstein, who has inexplicably been on the loose since Halloween. As before, the author of this item seems suspiciously insightful and inanely detailed — so much so that, of course, we have to wonder if the writer might be uncomfortably close to Braunstein himself. To add to the shudder factor, the author has been emailing Gawker to alert us to his or her new works, presumably so that we draw attention to the screeds by posting them.

The Post reports on the brutal murder of 21-year-old Catherine Woods, an attractive, "aspiring Broadway dancer" whose death is clearly solid cover material.

It was only a matter of time before New York's resident axe-lady Vanessa Grigoriadis (who, we might add, did not ghostwrite Nicole Richie's book) got on the Peter Braunstein bus — and when she did, by God, she took the wheel and drove that bus straight to Cape fucking Fear. The cover story reveals the disturbing extent to which the alleged fireman/molester and former Women's Wear Daily writer harbored his obsessions but, ultimately, doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. Dude's a sick puppy — here's a gazillion words on the matter.

On Monday, we pointed out a Craigslist post detailing — at insane lengths — the author's thoughts on the possible location of sexual assault suspect Peter Braunstein. Shortly after we published and linked to the original post, it was removed.

Our attention has been directed to a creepy post made on Craigslist yesterday regarding sexual assault suspect Peter Braunstein. While we normally wouldn't be especially intrigued by a Casual Encounters user's insights on Braunstein, we found the following to be so incredibly detailed, lengthy and thoughtful that, for a moment, we wondered if the author was very, very close to the suspect.

While NYPD spent the early hours of this morning hunting for Braunstein in Cobble Hill, yesterday's Post revealed that former journalist and suspected fireman/molester Peter Braunstein bought 8.8 pounds of potassium nitrate (or saltpeter) on internet auction site eBay. When combined with various materials, saltpeter can be used to make anything from smoke bombs to pipe bombs — which may have been what Braunstein used to create small fires outside of him victim's apartment, or he could still be holding on to his stash for later use.

He said, she said.