Fact check? Oh hell, who fact checks a story this juicy? Trust this rumor from a reader as much as you'd trust a hooker with a promise ring.

Is the Stefan Eriksson Ferrari crash — and the simultaneous fall of his former employer Gizmondo — is too complicated to handle (even after the Valleywag recap)? This flowchart from Game Revolution maps it out for you.

As if a beautiful day like today isn't enough to make you love the metro area, there's also this bit of tri-state pride: Reade Seligmann, at left, is from Essex Fells, N.J., and Collin Finnerty, at right, is from Garden City, Long Island. The two were charged earlier today with first-degree rape, first-degree forcible rape, and kidnapping. Finnerty, of course, was also charged with a terrible haircut.

Last week, a group of six New Yorkers were on a Caribbean vacation in St. Maarten. Two of them were brutally beaten — one, Dick Jefferson, a 51-year-old top producer at the CBS Evening News, is out of the hospital but now has a titanium plate in his head; the other, a 25-year-old researcher there, remains in intensive care with brain injuries. Why were they beaten? Because they're gay, and the attackers had earlier that night been thrown out of a bar for heckling Smith and his boyfriend, Justin Swenson. ABCNews.com did a thorough story earlier this week, which made an interesting point:

Microsoft's Bangalore office was stoned yesterday (not the fun "hey guys, hey guys, let's make ads with dinosaur heads and then grab some munchies" way but the "oh shit they're throwing pieces of the landscape at us" way) when the city broke into riots. A Bangalore-born actor's death sparked pandemonium in the streets. But before saying "That's what you get for globalizing," remember the many riots that rocked Silicon Valley in the past century:

Stefan Eriksson was finally arrested after his February car crash in Malibu. The ex-Gizmondo exec is suspected of grand theft auto in the latest twist to the Ferrari Enzo crash saga. I cannot decide which is the best detail so far.

The SF Chron's laptop stabbing piece is today's most educational article, full of life lessons:

Okay, if you don't know the ending, this scene is the best-climaxed story ever. The setting: a cafe in San Fran's Mission District. The speaker: a finance manager who doing the sip-and-type thing on his laptop.

Oh we can try it for free the first time, can we? Sorry, CNN, but we're not falling for that. We totally saw this after-school special.

• Today in the glue-sniffing adventures of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Star reports that Tom intends to keep his beloved quiet during childbirth by shoving an adult pacifier in her mouth. Childbirth never sounded so kinky! [Lowdown]
• Sources close to Whitney Houston wonder if her crack habits may have been worsened by her affiliation with a cult called the Black Hebrews. Yeah, that's right — always blame the Jews. [Scoop]
• Brad Pitt has backed out of George Clooney's plans for a casino, leaving his project in trouble. Now if we can just flood the project with false information, we can render it useless. [R&M]
• Congrats to Justin Loeber, who made it a whopping 3 months as Judith Regan's PR slave at Regan Books before fleeing for dear life. [Page Six]
• Bad news for ex-Mets pitcher Kris Benson: Your crazy-ass wife says you two are going to work things out. We're so sorry, dude. [NYDN]
• Are you a working actor without an ounce of name recognition? Stop a rapist, get on Page Six, and watch the scripts come rolling in. [Page Six]

Don't get us wrong, we're as moderately fond of the Astor Place Cube as the next non-NYU kid. And so, yeah, we suppose we're also opposed to vandalizing it. Which is were vaguely discomfited by the headline on an article we were just sent from the Washington Square News, NYU's student paper: "Cube Found Vandalized, Seven Arrested." We wondered, what sort of horrible vandalism could provoke such such mass arrests? And so we read on:

You've just been arrested for allegedly beating the crap out of your housekeeper — your fifth such incident since 1998 — and your Swarovski crystal-encrusted BlackBerry is stained with blood. What's a girl to do? If you're Naomi Campbell, you head down to South Africa to visit Nelson Mandela and talk about UNICEF, of course. While Mandela once considered Campbell his "honorary granddaugher," we're guessning he's now far too scared of the supermodel warlord to cancel their meeting. Campbell, to her credit, knows that Mandela's place is a safe haven for all sorts of troubled models (Kate Moss allegedly blew some rails in his bathroom back in 1998).

Back in August, some random perv on the R train whipped out his shlong and showed it off to 22-year-old Thao Nguyen. Nguyen had the presence of mind to snap his pic with her cameraphone, and the shot made its way to a website and then to the front page of the Daily News. At which point it was discovered that the flasher was in fact a very specific perv: Dan Hoyt, the owner of the East Village restaurant Quintessence and a leader of the raw-food movement. Convicted of public lewdness and awaiting sentencing in a few weeks, he allowed himself to be profiled in the new New York. You'd imagine he'd have lots of apologetic things to say, wouldn't you? Probably some therapized talk about how he was frustrated and misunderstood and acting out in response to childhood neglect, right? Alas, wrong. Way wrong:

Today's papers have clarified just what, exactly, happened yesterday morning at belligerent supermodel Naomi Campbell's Park Avenue duplex, which sent a woman to the hospital and Campbell to Midtown North Precinct. Thank God, because we've been up all night, hands-a-wringing, wondering how something so incomprehensibly tragic could ever happen.

• We're honored to be included in this year's Most Loathsome list from the New York Press — it's like being told by a tranny hooker that you wear too much makeup. One point of contention, though: we are not more loathsome than Andrea Peyser. That's just crazy talk. [NYPress]
• After being arrested this morning for assaulting her assistant/maid/slave, Naomi Campbell emerges from the Midtown North Precinct wearing a poncho — hey, it worked for Martha! [TMZ]
• For their "Green Issue," Vanity Fair planned on using recycled paper — but it's just too hard, caring about the environment and shit. [Muckracked]
• Tim Zagat has no idea his little survey books are irrelevant. [NY Sun]
• Grups — New York magazine's new term for the dude in the Sleater-Kinney t-shirt pushing a stroller through DUMBO — are advertising demographic gold. Duh. That article was sponsored by Rogan. [AdFreak]

This very seriously just in: Supermodel and anger-management poster child Naomi Campbell was just arrested for assault. As we understand it, Campbell beat the crap out of a woman (we think her maid, which sounds about right), who is now at Lenox Hill Hospital. Campbell, meanwhile, is chilling at the 33rd precinct.

Arjun Gupta, the TeleSoft Partners VC arrested on three counts of domestic abuse, hired attorney Stuart Hanlon last week. The lawyer made headlines in 1997 for freeing murder convict and former Black Panther Geronimo Pratt after 27 years in prison. Hanlon was profiled, castigated, and turned into poetry.

A recent news alert from ABCNews.com:

Arjun Gupta, founder of major venture capital firm TeleSoft Partners, was arrested in February and charged with inflicting "a corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition upon Vinati Gupta," his wife at the time.

Say hello to Ada L. Smith, State Senator from Queens and apparent Starbucks aficionado: A summons has been issued for the Senator to "answer charges that she threw hot coffee in the eyes of a member of her staff." This isn't the first time Senator Smith has run afoul of the law: she has a previous conviction for running a security checkpoint, she's been accused of threatening a former staffer with a knife, and, in 1998, she allegedly bit a New York City police officer. Still, that pales before the current third-degree assault charge, where staffer Jennifer Jackson claims Senator Smith "threw the coffee and pulled a hairpiece from her head causing injuries to her eyes, shoulder and back."