The UK does not want Martha Stewart no matter how many lines of crockery she's designed for Wedgwood! The UK Border Agency has barred the felonious lifestyle queen from entering the country, presumably because of her criminal ways here in America. It's admirable consistency for the agency-famous star criminals must be kept out along with the common scum. But it may turn out to be a crippling blow for England's Toad-in-the-hole industry:

Disembodied feet keep washing up on the shores of British Columbia—which, despite the name, is apparently in Canada?—and everyone is in a tizzy. Four right feet have been discovered since last August in the Strait of Georgia (once again, still Canada) near Vancouver, all of them in sneakers. A left foot was found earlier this week. Another right foot was found yesterday, but it was apparently a hilarious hoax. Canadians are such kidders! Anyway, no one knows where all these feet are coming from. But "Curtis Ebbesmeyer, an expert on ocean currents, told The Sun a foot wearing a buoyant athletic shoe could float as far as 1,000 miles." Which is good to know! As always, authorities advise that you avoid amputees and Canadians.

A California appeals court ruled yesterday that your job has no right to obtain your work emails or text messages if they are stored by a third party provider. That means that the roughly 30% of Microsoft Outlook users whose emails are handled by a vendor, for example, would be protected from having their employers snoop on them. If your job stores employee emails internally, they can still read them. Regardless, this is good news for leakers in this age of corporate snooping on your Facebook pages. Who do you have to thank for this newfound privacy? A cop who sent sexy text messages from his work phone!:

Scary news for residents of the 10021: It seems muggings and robberies on the Upper East Side are up! (Well, at least according to people who live in the 'hood—the NYPD begs to differ.) But the news should give Tinsley and Fabiola a good excuse to carry Tasers around in their Birkin bags. [NY Sun]

Neil Entwistle is on trial in Massachusetts, accused of murdering his wife Rachel and daughter Lillian Rose. In the course of the trial, computer forensics expert Detective Lawrence James revealed that a search of the defendant's laptop found that he'd performed a Google search on the phrase "how to kill with a knife" just four days before the slayings.

The revolutionary information age is great and everything, but it makes crime a really big hassle. In the McCarthy era, they ran down the Reds by tracing their anti-American magazine subscriptions. Dragnet cops could storm into the library to demand a suspect's list of books borrowed. But now criminals use the internet, and its treasure trove of crime information is an equally rich source of evidence against those who access it. We've already seen a Facebook update lead to a murder-suicide. And now, the latest entrant in the annals of "Bad Things To Do Online": Google "How to kill with a knife," and then murder your wife and child:

Nevermind the multiple witnesses to Broadcom co-founder Henry Nicholas' drug and prostitute habit. Nevermind the $2 billion restatement of earnings by Broadcom over backdated stock options. Dr. Henry T. Nicholas, still worth $2 billion himself while staying at a $60,000 plus substance abuse treatment clinic in Malibu under bond has plead not guilty to the charges listed in various federal indictments. A jury trial will commence on July 29th, with Nicholas joining co-founder Henry Samueli, former CFO William Ruehle and general counsel David Dull as defendants possibly taking the stand to describe their logical actions as sober and conscientious executives just doing their fiduciary duty to shareholders. I hate to try people outside the judicial system, but seriously, does anyone see any consequence beyond the lightest "club fed" sentence for these guys if found guilty?

A Google Street View driver ran afoul of the Presidio's park police at this popular view spot overlooking the Golden Gate — plenty more pictures where that came from. Can you suggest a better headline? Do so in the comments. The best one will become the new headline. Friday's winner: "My arched right eyebrow? That means that I am pheeling phrisky.." by actionhero11. (Photo by Damian Spain)

In the biggest sting of its kind, Cook County police have made 76 Chicago-area arrests using Craigslist's Erotic Services section as their dragnet — the fourth such sting in an 18-month-long investigation. In an interview with CBS 2 Chicago, Sheriff Tom Dart accused Craigslist of operating "a free advertising network for prostitutes and pimps."

Good news for the Associated Press! "In 2007 three times as many people were arrested for blogging about political issues than in 2006," an annual report from the University of Washington reveals. The majority of arrests since 2003 have taken place in Iran, China, and Egypt, though the US of A gets a mention: "The report predicted that the number of blogger arrests in 2008 would exceed the 36 seen in 2007 thanks to greater popularity of blogging as a medium, greater enforcement of net restrictions, and elections in China, Pakistan, Iran and the US." Thats fine, fine company we're in, isn't it? Of course, the reported number could be deceptively low.

Might as well go for a music star crime news two-fer this afternoon: Atlanta rap star Young Jeezy has been implicated in a major cocaine-dealing trial. A witness testifying in a case against members of Black Mafia Family—a massive Atlanta drug gang that moved hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of coke across the country—said that Jeezy bought several kilos of coke from BMF. Well, duh. Jeezy's nickname is "Snowman":

R&B singer R. Kelly has been acquitted of everything. Specifically, the 14 counts of child pornography that he's been on trial for in Chicago for the last month, stemming from a video allegedly showing him having sex with a 13-year-old girl. The jury repeatedly viewed the video during their deliberations, and have now let him walk. Everybody else in the world thought he was guilty. The entire case may have hinged on a single mole:

Hip hop mogul Russell Simmons reportedly had a suitcase full of his jewelry stolen from a downtown apartment yesterday. Considering the fact that the case contained "three diamond rings, a pendant, three sets of earrings and two bracelets," from Simmons' own jewelry company, the reported total value—$15,000—is pretty meager. That's partly because Simmons is involved a much-derided effort to improve the reputation of the diamond industry, which somehow trickles down to his own company in the form of cheap jewelry that gives a cut of its (relatively small) profits to charity. Which is better: Charitable, uglier, cheaper jewelry, or much shinier jewelry that embraces nothing but out-and-out materialism? These questions are important to moguls. To help you decide, there's a collection after the jump; Simmons' company's jewelry versus some pieces from Jacob the Jeweler—hip hop's gaudiest diamond guy. Each is terrible in its own way:

Steve Buscemi has played his fair share of victims and petty criminals. This time, though, it's his (real) brother who got caught up in a caper. Breathe easy—it's nothing on the scale of murder-by-woodchipper. Seems someone stole Michael Buscemi's identity and opened up bank accounts in the actor/writer's name and ran up $3,822.21 worth of charges. According to his Facebook profile, Michael, who lives in Park Slope, is going by "David Bushemi" until Monday, presumably until things gets cleared up. It already has to be challenging enough to one's sense of identity to live in the shadow of a famous sibling (and to work in the same profession as him, no less.) But to then have your overshadowed identity stolen? Sounds like the sorry fate that would befall, well, a Steve Buscemi character.

This just in: Deals advertised on Craigslist may not be as fabulous as they appear. Just ask the 12 New Yorkers who responded to an ad on the site offering discounted iPhones in bulk, thinking they were in for a steal, which they were—just not in the way they expected. After showing up to conduct the transactions in locations that scream you're about to be robbed!—deserted corners of Flatbush and Flatlands—the naifs were robbed at gunpoint by four teenaged hoods. In one case, the four made off with as much as $2,000 in cash. Of course, if you want to buy your iPhones in bulk and sell them for a hefty profit, you don't have risk life and limb. Even if you hit the Apple store and pay $399 for the first-generation model, you'll still generate a nice return when you offload them to a Russian plutocrat for $700 a piece.

Another guilty plea from the people behind Eliot Spitzer's favorite high-class prostitution ring: Mark Brener, 62, the ringleader of Emperors Club VIP, pleaded guilty to conspiracy as part of a deal he struck with prosecutors. The Israeli native's plea comes a week after his girlfriend, Cecil Suwal, also pleaded guilty to conspiracy, and a month after booking agent Temeka Lewis pleaded guilty to similar charges. The aging Brener can now look forward to 24 to 30 months in prison, lending further credence to that old chestnut, "It's hard out here for a pimp."

You can look at Wendy Williams, the loud queen of hip hop talk radio, in two ways: she is popular, in the sense that her show is still one of the biggest things on the radio dial; but she's also not popular, in the sense that her crazy husband runs around her studio hiring hitmen, sexually harassing the female employees, and generally acting like a gangster, according to a new lawsuit from a traumatized publicist. Williams denies it all, including the claim that her husband slammed her up against the wall because she failed to stop smoking. But one thing she can't deny: she is mean. In 2006 she told everybody on air about how Wu-Tang rapper Method Man's wife had cancer—which was private. Method Man responded with one of the most sincere anti-gossip rants in recent history:

One person you do not want to be right now is disgraced hedge funder Samuel Israel III. Because if you were him you'd either be a) lifelessly floating along the banks of the Hudson River; or b) the subject of one of the most high-profile manhunts in white-collar criminal history. Or both! Israel, the Bayou Group hedge fund founder who was found guilty of conning investors out of millions of dollars, was scheduled to begin serving a 20-year prison sentence on Monday; just an hour before he was scheduled to show, his car was found on the Bear Mountain Bridge with the words "Suicide is Painless" drawn in dust on its hood. But no body has turned up. And it turns out that people tend not to believe you when you spend your entire career defrauding people.

The UK's stupid libel laws allow people to successfully sue the media for making fun of them. So Robert Dee, a 21-year-old British guy who is the world's Worst Professional Tennis Player, is suing three newspapers there for pointing out that he is, in fact, the Worst Professional Tennis Player. Mainly, this makes us glad to be in America, where we're free to tell you that Robert Dee is the Worst Professional Tennis Player. But also, the facts aren't even on his side; it sure sounds like he really is the Worst Professional Tennis Player!:

By law, only lawmakers are allowed to look at child porn, but that's not enough for New York State's Net-crusading attorney general, Andrew Cuomo. He's demanded that Internet service providers Time Warner Cable, Verizon, and Sprint block access to sites that "disseminate child pornography". This is to be accomplished by preventing users from visiting Usenet newsgroups and a pet list of offending sites drawn up by Cuomo's office. According to News.com, nationwide, Time Warner Cable customers may not be able to visit Usenet at all, and Verizon customers will have the alt.* newsgroups blocked.