"Highly intoxicated" Oberlin student Andrew Whiteman tried to break into a drug store, and when the cops came to arrest him, he said he was a 100-year-old immortal vampire and threatened to eat one cop's kidney, and suck another's blood.

A California man has been indicted for "cyber extortion" after he launched a website and threatened to use his social network connections to embarrass New York Life Insurance unless the company refunded his premiums.

Return to The 'Huge Social Networker' Who Tried to Extort $200K From His Insurance Company

We bring you the following story as a public service—for journalists, college students, and everyone else. Take the experience of Tim Chapman, former editor of James Madison University's student newspaper, as a lesson: Cops are not your drinking buddies.

Eighteen year-old Kayla Gerdes, high on Oxycontin and driving a van, struck and killed a 69 year-old retired doctor on Long Island Tuesday. That's bad enough. Kayla, however, made it worse, by saying the very worst possible things.

Conrad Zdzierak used a "Hollywood quality" mask called "The Player" to rob four banks and a CVS, evading capture because the mask was black and Conrad... wasn't. Police nabbed Zdzierak thanks to a Crimestoppers tip. [ABC Action News; tip via]

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN? Yesterday, the "Geezer Bandit" flashed his revolver to a teller and robbed his seventh San Diego area bank since last August. He is believed to be between 60 and 70. Reward: $16,000 [LAT]

Salty Sea Dog and former congressman Eric Massa (D-Public Showers) is under investigation by the FBI for corruption. Uh oh! His campaign made large, suspicious payments days after he announced that he would not seek reelection.

The U.S. attorney yesterday called new charges of sex trafficking of minors "a new low for the Gambino family." Worse than nine decades of racketeering, extortion, drug trafficking, money laundering, murder, prostitution, and illegal toxic waste dumping? Well, maybe. [NYT]

If there is one thing tabloid sex fiend columnist Andrea Peyser hates, it is everything good in the human soul. Andrea's gripe today: someone was shown mercy. This is unfair to the bloodthirsty, such as Andrea Peyser!

For the first time since his letter to Irish Catholics last month, Benedict mentioned the growing sex abuse scandal in his weekly address to the public in Vatican City. He didn't specify what action the church would take. [AP, Getty]

The Albany Times Union has uncovered a six-page document that shows how an investigation by North Fork Bank brought down former New York governor Eliot Spitzer when he tried to conceal a $5,000 wire transfer to an escort agency.

Cameron Douglas has been sentenced to five years in prison for dealing meth. Last night his father sent a letter asking the judge for leniency. Looks like he got it: The mandatory advisory sentence for the charge is ten years.

Hackers compromised a "crown jewel" Google password system, the New York Times has revealed, and maybe used it to create secret, still-active back doors. What if there are back doors already being used to compromise Gmail?

"It's like a bad dream," said a newly nine-fingered man who lost an iPad to a robber who pulled so hard on the Apple bag intertwined around his fingers that it stripped his pinky to the bone.

Actor Kal Penn recently quit his White House job to return to Hollywood. As a special goodbye, a local resident robbed him at gunpoint early this morning. Ahh, the ol' Capitol Kiss-Off. Suspect is unknown. Though it definitely wasn't lupus.

Anyone possessing the power of sight and a rudimentary understanding of right and wrong can see that Patrick Pogan, the cop videotaped knocking a bike rider down for no reason, is an asshole. Not his fault, say his asshole defenders.

Edwin Valero was one of the most promising boxers on the planet, and a national hero in Venezuela. But last weekend he killed his wife. And this morning he killed himself.

Whoa, hey, don't hog all the heroism, 1987 Pulitzer Prize-winning former photographer and current assistant professor of new media at San Jose State University Kim Komenich! You can win a Pulitzer, but to stop a bank robbery, too? Whoa, hey!

She says he's a psycho rapist who kidnapped her. He says she's a lying bitch and he wants a refund, but he still loves her and maybe wants her back. Meet Manohara and Prince Fakhry — Southeast Asian media sensations.