In a random publicity-stunt press release, a random online bookie ranks Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump as the celebrity couple most likely to get divorced, beating even Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom. Prove this random internet oddsmaker wrong, Jared!

Thank god they had the good sense to do this on a slow news day. [Twitpic!]

Coyote Ugly did many things for America, chief among them, teaching us what the phrase "coyote ugly" meant. So, since it's impolite to leave your arm anywhere, here's how to avoid that situation with dignity and class.

It's hard to understand women's motives sometimes. Two day silent treatment because I said your mother is wretched? Sure, whatever. But throw us a bone once in a while. Hysterically crying at the end of Star Wars is just confusing.

A "Canon gangsta" meets his "Nikon shaw-tay" in Nikon Girl, a love song about two photographers who fall for each other.

Love ignoring your wife? Hate when she says "are you even listening to me?!" Then your answer is the Spatsolver, a device that records the last five minutes of every conversation and delays your marriage from impending doom.

So the official wedding pics of Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are all over the internet. Boring, right? Yes. If you can make them better, we'll pay you.

Bronzed god Donny Deutsch would like to take Sarah Palin on a date. After the date he would like to bone her, marry her, and rule the nation together from atop a gleaming pile of salmon.

NBC is reportedly developing a sitcom called "George and Hilly" based on New York Observer writer George Gurley's columns about couples therapy with his fiancee. Here's what prime time viewers have to look forward to:

Ooo, the rumors are true. MSNBC character and PR firm owner Dan Abrams is dating permasquint actress Renee Zellweger. There's photographic evidence!

Some are calling it a "public debut," and yet others simply view it as a rich guy getting good concert seats, but Alex Rodriguez's front-row hand-off of a water bottle to Madonna during her performance Wednesday night in Miami signaled something official in their long-rumored, scandal-plagued courtship.

The sad television image: while single people run around coupling with any and all sweaty bodies in their path, married people are sick of each other and never have sex. Not tonight, honey! The happier truth: in real life married people actually do have sex! Or so we hear. This disconnect is a matter of concern to certain segments of the right wing pro-marriage fringe, who feel that TV's bias against showing boring husband-and-wife sex is-I don't know-making people not get married? It's unclear. What we know for sure is that our networks must do more to promote fucking within marriage; particularly NBC, which has an obvious preference for "bestiality and necrophilia":

Poor Ryan Phillippe. First, he earned a reputation as a shameful cheating husband who hurt the precious piece of Oscar-winning apple pie that is Reese Witherspoon, then gay-basher-turned-gay-lover Jay Leno urged Ryan to look “gay” on national television, and then his role in Stop Loss failed to live up to expectations. Rubbing salt into an already open wound, he admitted to USA Today last week that he avoids looking at pictures of Reese and Jake Gyllenhaal, calling the images “bizarre.” But last night, Phillippe finally battled this ongoing string of bad luck and publicly appeared at an Australian awards gala with "other woman" Abbie Cornish on his arm. We took a look back at all the hiding these two have done over the years, and what may have inspired Ryan to show the media he’s no longer in need of a pity party.

There’s nothing better than returning from a long weekend to discover not one but two incredibly positive stories about Britney Spears. Not only has the singer finally managed to make a public appearance looking downright hot, but she’s also begun dating a very eligible, scandal-free bachelor — William Morris agent Jason Trawick. As you may recall, Trawick was the mystery man splashing around Mel Gibson’s Costa Rica retreat with Britney last week, and reportedly has been looking after Britney ever since the beginning of her American Tragedy downfall. As a source tells OK!, “Britney totally trusts him and she has very deep feelings for him. It’s now got to the point where Britney wants to be with him full time.” And after seeing these pictures of the pair, who went public at an Ed Hardy party over the weekend, we can’t help but notice a very sober-looking Britney appearing genuinely happy for the first time in...ever:

Hearing that Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder may be dating is like winning the Fantasy Celebrity Hookups jackpot. Both of these lovable n’er-do-wells have been down on their luck recently, with a series of DOA movies, rumored engagements that didn’t pan out, and for Winona, the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan stealing her stealing act. So whether or not the rumors are actually true, we’re throwing these two stars’ caution to the wind for them and giving them three good reasons why they most definitely should be, after the jump.

When we first saw pictures of Natalie Portman walking through New York with her new boyfriend, we initially thought Nat had started volunteering at her local homeless shelter, acting as a mentor for one lucky (and possibly blind) hobo. But then they made out. So who is this caveman-esque guy and what on earth is Natalie thinking? While at first glance folksy singer Devendra Banhart hardly looks like a pretty boy, we found some far more flattering shots of Natalie's new arm candy with his guitar from years ago. And even if Devendra's put on a pound or two since they were taken, we still had to do a double take and make sure we weren't looking at photos of Jim Morrison himself. Judge for yourself after the jump.

Kirsten Dunst hasn't wasted any time picking up old habits since quietly leaving rehab recently. No, silly, we aren't talking about booze, but rather boys. Dunst was spotted on what looked very much like a date with Ryan Gosling on Saturday in New York. The two are both slotted to start filming Andrew Jarecki's All Good Things soon, and the "shabby clothes" and length of the afternoon meeting suggest Dunst is back to working her boy-crazy charm on the scruffy Gosling. But just one year after splitting with longtime goody two shoes girlfriend and Best Kiss Award co-winner Rachel McAdams, we have to wonder what Gosling sees in the just-sprung Dunst.

George Clooney is dating Sarah Larson, a 28-year-old cocktail waitress from Kent, Washington. Predictably, a guy who knew Larson since grade school has a blog, and he's written a LONG history of damn near everything he knows about her, which has drawn more than a thousand comments. Today the Daily News picks it up and refers vaguely to some of the "very personal details" from Larson's past. For you, we have read the INCREDIBLY LONG blog post and condensed it down to its interesting parts. Everything you ever wanted to know (and more) about the past of George Clooney's girlfriend, below.

We wish we could say there were a lesson to be learned from tough guy methhead Tom Sizemore's inability to stray very far from the glass pipe, but with an astounding nine upcoming projects listed on his IMdB page, we're beginning to wonder if an insurmountable crystal habit isn't exactly what every down-in-the-dumps former Hollywood contender needs in order to stay productive enough to make the month's car and mortgage payments. Of course, you'll always be running the risk of arrest, even when you're doing nothing but minding your business, gnawing on your own cheek in a parked car: