Outrage at the University of Iowa Twitter Command Center! Because yesterday, after reports of mountain lion or cougar sightings near the Iowa City campus, the school's politics account tweeted, "I didn't know Bachmann was in town. Bah-dum-bum." Golly, what do those two things have to do with each other? According to the AP, "A cougar is a term used to refer to older women who seek out younger men." That simply cannot be true.

Early Monday, Vilas County, Wisconsin sheriff's deputy Ty Peterson spotted a cougar—no, not a mythical, middle-aged, sex-seeking ladyhuman, but a large pouncey cat—prowling around in his backyard. Using this information, a relative of Peterson's decided to play a practical joke on him. It succeeded—in a way.

The U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service has has determined that the legendary Eastern Panther (also known as the eastern cougar, puma, catamount and mountain lion) is extinct, and likely has been since the 1930s. There have been numerous reported sightings throughout the years, but the FWS says they were other species, "including South American cats that had either escaped from captivity or were released to the wilderness as well as wild cougars from Western states that had migrated east."

For what seems like one million years now, media outlets have gleefully reported that America is full of sex-hungry cougar women, chasing young men down and sucking them dry. Minor correction: turns out that's not true.

God damn it, Google somehow made us sympathetic towards a really dumb dating website. Amazing! CougarLife "is the premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men." Google refuses to run their ads, because of sexism.

"Cougars" die younger; "sugar daddies" live longer. So young men kill, which we already knew.

It's not easy for Andrea Peyser to come up with new sex column topics every week. Pantie shopping? Done. Sexy lesbians? Done. Prison rape? Done. Breast milk? Done. Fireman fantasies? Done. Ummm...what about cougars? Can we write about cougars, still?

In a shameful act of discrimination against differently-aged fucking, Carnival Cruise Lines says it won't allow any more "Cougar"-themed cruises. What is next, a ban on "Cheetah" cruises? Fear not, ladies; China could use 24 million of you.

A golden retriever named Angel lived up to his name when he fought off a cougar attacking an eleven-year-old boy. The dog was thought to be dead after the cougar finished with him, but he miracuously sprung "back to life."

If you want to write an article that gets the people talking, one good way is to just start classifying women in random groups, related to age and hot sexxx. Hot sexxxy cheetah ladies cannot resist this delicious media bait!

When CBS News anchor Katie Couric isn't asking Sarah Palin gotcha questions, she's doin' Da Butt, or the Lambada, or whatever white ladies do when the Black Eyed Peas are on the sound system. More unbelievable images after the jump.

Popular culture may tire of them, but cougars are here to stay. Sociologists said so!

Sept. 28 @ 3pm [Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] Walking down the street in each others arms. They looked very happy and smitten. Flanked by what I assume were 2 bodyguards.

"Cougar Caught In Seattle Being Released Into Wild."

The 'Cougar' phenomenon—which never grows old, or loses its journalistic depth—is trickling down to the more...average precincts of American trendwatching. The Wilkes-Barre (PA) Times Leader went "on the prowl" for local cougars, get it? They found one!

We were drawn in by New York's new article, "This Old Sperm: Do Cougars Have the Smartest Kids." Who would have thought it was lamentation against sensationalistic science journalism?

Shocking news today as John McCain refuted his choice of Heidi Montag as vice president, instead settling on heavily lip-glossed Alaskan governor Sarah Palin. As Jeff Wells notes, Palin has a certain resemblance to Tina Fey as Liz Lemon: the horn-rimmed glasses, the messy up-do, the required fealty to an older, conservative man in charge. But where does each stand on the issues? We combed through their records (and Hulu) to find out — the results, after the jump:

Despite the fact that Jennie Garth is still taunting Shannen Doherty with expertly crafted put-downs, EW was able to wrangle the two 90210 stars for an arm-in-arm photo shoot and revealing Q&A. In it, Doherty reveals that she never really liked Brenda Walsh ("They just took her in a really odd direction that I didn't necessarily agree with at the time") and that she still harbors insecurities begun by the seminal "I Hate Brenda" newsletter. All well and good, but what about the matter everyone still cares about: the long-rumored Doherty/Garth catfights?

Kristen Schaal-are we all in agreement that she is the best?-did a great segment on The Daily Show last night that managed to perfectly parody a Tonight Show dangerous animal act and satirize the irritating and sexist "cougar" thing that's become the worst kind of bullshit trend. So watch it after the jump!

Warning! Cougars are everywhere! They're reading you your evening news, confusing dead people, and threatening day hikers and naturalists nationwide. And now they're going to be on the damn Gossip Girl. Yes, impossibly-named actress Mädchen Amick (Twin Peaks) has just been cast on the Upper East Side teen soap as Catherine Mason, an older woman who aims to seduce our prettiest young thing, Nate (played by Chace Crawford). Well, that's good news I suppose. Nate could use some spicing up, as his character is currently about as bland as impossibly gorgeous bland people can get. Also nice to hear that they shored-up some casting after their Hamptons open casting proved to be a complete disaster. But "cougar." Grr. (Noise-pun not intended). That may just be EW's word, but we kinda doubt it. Is anyone as sick of that term as I am?