Alex Jones is a syndicated radio host from Texas. Jones is also a crazy person. Here's a clip of Jones calling increased homosexuality a "chemical warfare operation" caused by MSG found in kettle chips and juice boxes, among other things.

Workers at Goldman Sachs' buildings across New York and New Jersey are grumbling about a conspiracy. A conspiracy by the company to squeeze profit even from its own staff.

So now you know it's safe to do the same for your kids. Although there is no video footage of this suspicious event, so proceed at your own risk!

Wow: Roger Friedman's accusing prominent Church of Scientology members Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston of conspiring against him, and he's citing this as the reason he was fired from his job as a showbiz columnist in a lawsuit against Fox.

So who told George Stephanopoulos this nutty story about the secret plan to sabotage the John Edwards campaign? Because no one will admit to it.

Here you have our President, Barack Obama, complete with his crew of close friends: Puffy, Ludacris, Jay-Z, and Jeezy. This was drawn by either a Miami graffiti artist or the Republican National Committee. [via AnimalNY]

All of the alleged Fort Dix plotters have been acquitted of attempted murder, but five have been convicted of "conspiring to kill military personnel." This is the end of their ridiculous trial.

Heroes star Hayden Panettiere spoke at aerial art event for her Save the Whales Again! campaign yesterday, where supporters rallied to form a giant human pilot whale. While we applaud the young starlet's initiative in fighting the destruction of a vital species, we can't help but think there's something more behind her advocacy. Click to unravel a plot most sinister: like National Treasure, but a blog post.We can't blame Hayden for being excited about her first election, and she connected her pet cause to get out the vote efforts yesterday. We don't doubt her sincerity, but a series of clues points to a different explanation for her actions.

So. That Couric interview? Didn't seem to instill much confidence in anyone that we're dealing with anything other than a stunt that's gone horribly awry, like suspending a campaign to fix the economy. Like, people who thought she was dumb are shocked at just how dumb. (Or incurious, whatever you want to call it! You can't be a complete idiot and be a successful politician in Alaska, after all.) (That was a joke.) So would it maybe alarm you to know that her insane answers to Katie's pretty standard-issue questions were based off of pre-written notes? That's the contention, anyway, of some DailyKos diarist, whose proof is that Palin appears to look down a couple times. If she did have notes, she sounds like she got them from the dumbest kid in class. Honestly, what did these notes say? "MAKE NO SENSE"??

Thirteen-time gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps is such a big American hero and super-mega-champion, right? That's just what they want you to believe. In fact, his .01 second victory-the lowest margin of difference allowed in official swimming competitions-over Serbia's Milorad Cavic in the 100 meter butterfly yesterday was a giant scam! In fact, it was all part of an elaborate plot between Phelps, the U.S. government, NBC, and time-keeping overlord OMEGA! Don't believe the chlorinated hype!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's unborn twins are worshiped by the entertainment press as a sort of double celebrity messiah. Bidding for exclusive first pictures has reportedly reached $15 million and is poised to rise further. So it was with no small measure of elation Friday that Entertainment Tonight delivered news that the twins had just been born in the south of France, a big scoop. But People and Us Weekly soon reported denials from reps for the couple. Brad Pitt attended a Grand Prix event across the border in Italy, which would be an odd decision for a new father. The celebrified Associated Press, which obtained a denial from Pitt's manager, asked, "Was Entertainment Tonight punk'd?" Maybe not. Maybe it is the victim of a MASSIVE ANGELINA JOLIE CONSPIRACY.

How much did President Bush drink? When did he quit? Did he quit? And what else did he do? There are absolutely no definitive answers to any of those questions, and most of the witnesses and parties involved are suspect or worse. Still, with the publication of former press secretary Scott McClellan's book, complete with re-airing of those old cocaine rumors, it might be fun to investigate the out-going president's drug history, as found both in the public record and the fever dreams of conspiracy artists.

You know how they always say people in New York get things for cheap if they have the right name? The NYT Real Estate section proudly boasts of a long-in-the-making bohemian transaction at 33 W. 67th street—Claude Ruiz-Picasso, son of guess-who, shelled out 3.25 million for a 4BR, 1.5 bath co-op in a Lincoln Square "artist" building. Up until then Ruiz-Picasso, the article wryly notes, still lived with his mother, Fran oise Gilot-Salk, one-time mistress of the greatest 20th century painter and wife of the greatest 20th century scientist. It also notes Ruiz-Picasso will be living above Tommy Brokaw, who bought a 3rd floor apartment from the estate of Barbara Epstein for $3,267,650. But, strangely, no mention is made of Arnold Newman.

Are the public faces of Google all wagging the dog by seeding their own gossip? One reader says the Google soap opera is scripted. But watch where you step in this sticky conspiracy theory — sprinkle some "sic"s and "alleged"s in there. Before the jump, the theorist gives the mounting evidence. After the jump, their theories.