For the past two years, the GOP-controlled House Committee on Intelligence has investigated the Obama administration’s role in the security and intelligence failures which preceded the September 2012 attacks in Benghazi, Libya—a perpetual source of bizarre right-wing conspiracies. Today the results are in: Obama officials did nothing wrong.

Not content to let truth-minded conservatives do their job, the White House made a wild attempt to pre-empt congressional scrutiny of its Benghazi failures by catching one of the architects of the Benghazi attack in a daring nighttime raid.

Is the Obama administration secretly ordering banks to close porn stars' accounts in an anti-money laundering program called "Operation Choke Point"? Probably not, but give conspiracy theorists mad points for hooking up that name and those deeds.

Sorry, everybody: Edward Snowden's trove of government docs does not prove conclusively "that Washington is secretly run by a malevolent race of extraterrestrials known as 'Tall Whites'—who also, by the way, engineered Hitler's rise to power." But take heart! The truth is out there.

Somebody fire the bile-powered birther-conspiracy piston engine back up. The sheeple must be warned!

A mild-mannered man says his life was completely ruined after Google's autocomplete feature convinced the government he was building a bomb.

A weird relic rested on the bookcase in my family's last home in New Orleans: a wooden pipe that had belonged to Jim Garrison, the Orleans Parish district attorney who tried and failed to convict a local businessman named Clay Shaw for the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The pipe still smelled of the tobacco its owner had packed and lit before setting it down at a cocktail party. Garrison—that's him on the right—had left the party and forgotten his pipe. And because he was still a hero to some, and especially to my mom, she took Garrison's pipe home as a souvenir.

It's Christmas-time in conspiracy-land as it's been revealed that the CIA will be funding a $630,000 study into whether the government could control the weather and stop global climate change.

Looking to get out of going through a messy and expensive divorce, 27-year-old Stephen Perry of Carmel, Indiana, allegedly decided to ask a coworker to kill his estranged wife instead.

Here's an unsettling mail-related story in which the postal worker is the victim.

Say hello to Jose Pimentel! Jose, 27, pictured at right, lives in New York City with his mom, enjoys the Internet, and—according to "his friends" (the mainstream media)—is a "loner." Oh, and he was just arrested for allegedly making pipe bombs for terroristic purposes.

There's a rumor going around Arizona about a black fellow claiming to be president, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, is going to get to the bottom of it—even if it gets him tons of press kills him.

Today science told us that Obama is going to have a scandal sometime in the near future. Ruh roh! What will it be? Well, one commenter thinks they know and boyyy is it a corker.

Now that President Barack Obama's legal team went out of its way to get a copy of Obama's so-called long-form birth certificate, it's time for the birthers to eat crow, right? Not so much. It hasn't taken long for members of the "birther" movement to grab their backup plans.

Newsweek/Daily Beast celebupundit Andrew Sullivan really, really wants to see Trig Palin's birth certificate, thinks Obama should have released his earlier, and has lots of righteous things to say about how real reporters demand to see documents. Funny thing—we're trying to get documents about you, Andrew! Care to help?

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart began to respond to Sarah Palin's idiotic response to President Obama's State of the Union address. As he did, though, Stewart realized—and then explained with evidence—that Palin may be... a Russian spy?!

Castle and Beckett become true believers while investigating the murder of an astrophysicist who seems to have died in space. Unfortunately, when they start digging a little too deep, it's not only their murder victim that gets an otherworldly visit.

As you've undoubtedly heard by now, a "mystery missile" was launched off of California's coast on Sunday night. Or was it just an airplane? At any rate, tonight, Jon Stewart handily mocked the media for their exaggerated reactions. Video inside.

Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith's former lawyer, and one of her doctors were found guilty of conspiracy for feeding the prescription drug addiction that eventually killed her. Now Ms. Smith only has one posthumous court case to be decided.

Conspiracy theorists, unite! Courtesy George Clarke, here's some footage—slowed down Zapruder-style—of Charlie Chaplin's 1928 film, The Circus that appears to show a woman walking down the street... while talking on a cell phone. Buh? Watch for yourself—and decide—inside.