Today starts the three-day annual circus known as the Conservative Political Action Conference, in which Washington journalists scurry like wounded, hungry cooing doves in search of crazy bite from right-wing presidential hopefuls, and also Rick Perry. Gawker is there, too.
Remember Martin Luther King, Jr., the oppressed Southern black man, the freedom fighter, the peacenik, who called for radical progressive civil rights and economic justice legislation, and who was smeared as a Communist? Today, pundits would like to remind you that he was, of course, a "conservative."
If you're a conservative politician looking to make sure the American underclass eventually dies off either through malnutrition or disease, boy, has it been a pretty great week for you!
"Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot." What a crock of shit.
A panel on rebutting charges of racism at a conservative political conference went exactly was well as you might expect when one audience member suggested slaves should have been thankful to their masters for "feeding... and housing" them, earning scattered applause and a collective chorus of "Ooooooohh....!"
There is a particular type of white person who startles easily, like a sensitive, inbred racehorse or a motherless baby bird. As you might imagine, this has not been an easy week for them. What do they fear? Everything, mostly. Religions that are very similar but not identical to their own. Loud voices and bold fonts. Multi-book series that are not trilogies. More specifically, they fear what will happen to this most American of the Americas during another four years of an Obama presidency.
While most of us are celebrating Mitt Romney's defeat in the streets by legally smoking marijuana and gay-marrying randomly-chosen passers-by, not everyone is quite so happy. And thanks to Twitter, we know about it. Vibrating bologna loaf Donald Trump, mistakenly believing that Romney won the popular vote, is calling for "revolution," — revolution! — while former SNL actress Victoria Jackson is sobbing and telling Christians that they "disgust" her. We've saved all of their most embarrassing (some already deleted) Tweets here:
Politics, like sports, is a subject whose barrier to entry is nonexistent. That is to say, it takes virtually no knowledge of any sort in order to have an opinion on the topic. That is why politics, like sports, is such a popular thing to talk about. It is also why the vast majority of the political talk by professional political talkers is worthless.
Charlie Fuqua is a lawyer and former Arkansas state legislator running for reelection on the Republican ticket. He is also, it turns out, a big believer in the Biblical practice of dangling the threat of death over children's heads in order to get them to respect their parents. What a guy!
The stylized drawings and hip fonts of Someecards do not at first seem compatible with virulent right-wing sentiment. But this is the internet: Wackjobs find a way. Check out these hilarious right-wing ecards, coming to a conservative relative's Facebook wall near you.
