A young baseball player showed up to his little league game this weekend, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to win. But thanks to the intolerance of the local community in Mansfield, Connecticut, the bear was turned away.

The United States incarcerates a sickening and outrageous number of people. Any idea that could mitigate this crisis is worth listening to. Here’s one.

The remains of an affluent Connecticut couple who went missing in August were found Thursday in Weston and authorities will charge their adult son with their murders, reports the New York Times.

This video, uploaded to YouTube Monday, stars an entitled young UConn student who wants some “fucking bacon jalapeño mac and cheese,” but these “fucking idiot” cafeteria workers won’t give it to him. Instead, they keep telling him he’s going to get expelled for bringing beer into Union Street Market. Whatever! This is America, man, and he’s 19. Like some “faggy cafeteria manager cafeteria manager cafeteria manager” can tell him what to do?

A Connecticut woman, convinced that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with one of her friends, allegedly keyed each of their cars and punctured their tires. Stamford Police say they established the motive for the crime after trying to make sense of the word “wore” scratched into the paint of the woman’s car and realizing that the culprit was just atrocious at spelling.

The great state of Connecticut has executed its last prisoner, the state’s highest court ruled today.

In Connecticut, the rents are unaffordable, the DMV is malfunctioning, and everyone is overdosing on heroin. Nothing new to report, in other words.

An 81-year-old alleged shrub fucker was arrested in Connecticut on Monday after allegedly fucking a shrub, the Associated Press reports.

Authorities in New Haven made a grisly discovery on Wednesday when they found a pair of human legs near a railroad station and a plastic bag containing “at least one” human arm during a subsequent search of the area, WTNH reports.

Middletown, Conn. police arrested four Wesleyan University students in connection to the apparently bad batch of MDMA—aka Molly—that put a dozen people in the hospital over the weekend.

Two Connecticut Muffin locations in Brooklyn both shut down simultaneously last week leaving only five remaining Connecticut Muffin locations in Brooklyn. Does anything good come out of Connecticut?

Police say the man who caught on fire while riding on top of a train car this weekend was a 21-year-old model and actor from Cleveland, Ohio. He died in the hospital Monday, family members and an extremely distraught agent told reporters.

A Spanish teacher at a Connecticut high school was pulled out of class in handcuffs with very little explanation last week, and a local news station is reporting he showed up to class visibly drunk and pissed his pants in front of students.

A man faces multiple charges after attempting to eat his DWI breathalyzer test results (DWI breathalyzer test results? what DWI breathalyzer test results?) after being arrested in Tarrytown, New York.

Alice Woodruff walked outside to her backyard in Waterbury, Conn. last Tuesday to find her naked neighbor allegedly raping her tied up pit bull.

The Register Citizen of Torrington reports on a domestic dispute that could only happen in Connecticut: Last night, a man was arrested for stabbing a watermelon in a "passive aggressive" manner.

Police recovered the body of 66-year-old Beverly Mitchell from the basement of her home in Cheshire, Conn. Saturday. Police believe Mitchell, an apparent hoarder, to have died when the first floor of her house collapsed from the weight of clutter that was stacked to the ceiling.

A Connecticut woman has been charged with assault and breach of peace after attacking a teenager who was flying his quadcopter drone over a beach.

All Gregory Beck wanted to do was honor the 26 victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre the best way he knew how: by giving out ammunition to the gun-nuts he knew for 26 days straight. But you people can't tolerate a sense of humor in a school board member, can you?

This past Saturday, residents of Newtown, Connecticut voted overwhelmingly in favor of accepting a $49.25 million state appropriation that will allow the city to demolish Sandy Hook Elementary, the site of last December's horrific mass shooting, and build a new school on the same grounds.