Today we learned that the real reason Emma Watson, brainiac wizardess, dropped out of Brown University was because she couldn't get a date. (Or something.) "Huh???" we all wondered. Beautiful, smart, charming her? Yeah, apparently. But why? Why c/wouldn't she date? One commenter speculated.

Today we heard that former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher will not take an audience with Sarah Palin. Awwww, nuts! Sarah had so much she wanted to say to the Iron Lady. What, exactly, did she want to talk about? One commenters knows.

Today we watched as congressman Anthony Weiner confessed to sending racy pics to an online lady. Oh brother, another one? Yup, another one. What's the reasoning here, one incredulous commenter wondered.

We asked for your most shocking tales from summer employment, and boy did you all deliver. While there were plenty of stories that were amazing (and sad and gross and scary), there was only one that was good enough to be the winner.

Today we were once again amazed by ex-governor Sarah Palin's vast historical knowledge. She's truly an incredible historian. What other professions might she excel at? One commenter speculated.

Today we heard that Bill Keller is stepping down as New York Times managing editor. "Wha?? Why??" we all wondered. (To write more Twitter essays, naturally.) One commenter offered their own scintillating theory.

Today we peeped a trailer for the new Girl With a Dragon Tattoo movie, which got all of you talking about the books vs. the movies vs. whatever else. So who are all these anonymous fans of Stieg Larsson's oeuvre? One commenter broke it down for us.

Today science told us that Obama is going to have a scandal sometime in the near future. Ruh roh! What will it be? Well, one commenter thinks they know and boyyy is it a corker.

Today we heard the good news that queen of Beyond-the-Wall Sarah Palin is launching a national bus tour. Is this all to drum up support for a possible presidential campaign? No no, says one commenter. It's something far more generous.

Today we said goodbye to the Oprah show. What a momentous occasion! What did Ms. Winfrey say as parting words to her faithful followers? We have the transcript!

Today we heard about the ever-growing, crushing discrimination against white people that is befalling our nation. What is there to do? Well, nothing, one commenter argues. Just enjoy the end of days, basically.

Today we asked you which of the three "serous" Republican candidates you would vote for. All of them? No, none of them! There's a new player in town, suggested by a commenter and endorsed by us.

Today we talked about tomorrow's Rapture and what to do if it doesn't happen. But screw that. It is coming and we're excited and we need a song. Luckily, a commenter provided us with one.

In a interview this week with Fox News, bespectacled musician Moby talked about all the internet haterz and how they make him feel bad, and he specifically mentioned you, Gawker readers.

Today we heard about workplace elevators that separate poor people from the rich. Terrible! But not exactly a new practice. And sometimes that segregation is even worse. For example, behold one commenter's story.

Today we looked at another sad Wal-Mart story, this one about how no one likes their clothes. Naturally this prompted you lot to commence the Wal-Mart bashing and Target praising, but one lone voice cried out in dissent.

Today we told you about the man who just ate his 25,000th Big Mac. That's 50,000 all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, and cheese on 75,000 sesame seed buns! One commenter asked why not changing is considered such a big accomplishment. Isn't this a bad thing?

Today we got into a discussion about college: Is it worth it? Many commenters started in on how not every job requires a college degree, that it's a waste of time and money in many occasions, etc. But one commenter dissented.

Today we learned that George W. Bush was just kicking back with a nice souffle when he got the call about Osama Bin Laden. Very interesting! What were other ex-presidents doing when they found out? One commenter knows about one, at least.

Today we learned that while Sarah Palin is terrified of Common, known cop killer, she is not terrified of all rap. She loves rap! She likes it so much she's written her own rap tune. One commenter got an early snippet of lyrics.