Opus, Berkeley Breathed's troubled, herring-loving penguin, has managed to eek out an existence since he first hit the strip "Bloom County" in 1980. But now he's gonna die, because Breathed is gonna kill him, and it's all your fault, snarky snarking internet users! Asked why Breathed is ending Opus's self-named strip next week after a five year run, Breathed tells Salon, "We're not a movie. In most aspects, there's no arc to the human story. Only a line heading upward. For nearly everything. In this case, the coarsening of the National Discourse. We aren't returning someday to any sort of golden era of political civility. The line heads heavenward and has been since the Republic started. And with the intersection of two rather dramatic dynamics — the cable and Web technology allowing All Snark All the Time ... and the political realities of No More Free Lunch in America, it will spike in the coming years like Don Draper's sex life, and I hereby pledge that that's the last pop reference I use." But isn't it during dark times that we most need funny satire? Screw you, noob!

If you haven't read every last one of the weird comics of Kate Beaton, well, I just don't know what to say to you. "Farming: Is it the best? It might be." Uh, she also has a selection of less weird ones. [Kate Beaton]

Monkeys, sea monkeys, X-Ray specs-strange, unnatural powers! All these could be yours for just a few bucks and some proofs-of-purchase via the ad pages of your favorite comic. Some classics after the jump.

In the current story on the magical webcomic Scary Go Round, heroine Shelly Winters is in love with Malcolm Gladwell, who is taking her to the New Yorker Christmas party. The results are a delight. [Scary Go Round 1 and 2 (with special guest Eustace Tilly)]

Campbell Robertson used to have what seemed to be the most fun job at the New York Times: writing Boldface Names with crazy Joyce Wadler. Then the Times killed that bizarre little corner of the Metro section and Campbell was sent to the Broadway beat. Recently, though, he's ended up on the campaign trail, where he apparently been drawing funny pictures. In the last week, the Times has brought us three installments of Robertson's funny pictures from his trip to North Carolina, where he's been talking to voters and attending campaign events and, uh, cartooning. Doesn't the Times already have professional cartoonists on staff? Is Robertson auditioning to illustrate an issue of American Splendor? We love him, but surely there are plenty of other "occasional cartoonists" on staff they could send to upcoming primary states. Adam Nagourney's might be pretty funny. He probably draws everyone with really big heads and tiny mopeds!

What do you get when you challenge a cartoonist to draw 200 three-panel comics in twelve hours? Fun times! Artist Nedroid took up the challenge from Cracked and went batshit nutty. After the jump, some of my faves.

The movie-going public is experiencing an endless continuum of superhero summers, a trend that doesn't look to be abating any time this decade. The occasional comic-cum-movie is an artistic success, but generally the final product is nothing but a debacle, the latest of which is Sin City creator Frank Miller's mission to ruin comics legend Will Eisner's classic The Spirit. As bad as The Spirit with cell phones might well be, it pales next to the specter of forthcoming adaptations of the already troubled The Incredible Hulk, and the rest of the in-production or planned films ripped from comic book pages: Wolverine, Watchmen, Iron Man, Atlantis Rising, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Nick Fury, Madman, Hack/Slash, Largo Winch, Luke Cage, Whiteout, Wanted, Magneto, Superman: Man of Steel, The Sub-Mariner, Punisher: War Zone, Hellboy 2, Sin City 2, and Spiderman 4, just to name a few. There are absolutely worthy properties here, but the majority of these features will fade away like so many Daredevils. But fear not, Hollywood. Here are four comics tailor-made for the screen that may eventually be needed to bring the genre back to life.

A point-by-point explanation of why Superman is the worst superhero. It's not just because he's indestructible! Highlights are below. [Bam Kapow]

Actors have finally been found to play the two soldiers in the G.I. Joe crew who most resemble members of the Village People. At least, according to movie scoop site Latino Review they have. G.I. Joe, Steven Sommer's tentpole movie about the legendary action figures, will be hitting theaters in the summer of '09. And so far, the casting news has been pretty ho-hum — you've got your Sienna Millers, you've got your Ray Parks — but today that all changes, thanks to Brendan Fraser and the Rock.

But not, erm, not the way the Joker died this winter. Industry rumor says that DC Comics will kill off Batman this summer, and not even in his own comic book but in the series Robin. According to the rumor (possibly confirmed by this cover of an upcoming Robin), the sidekick will become the new Batman, which isn't even how that works. Since the new Batman movie The Dark Knight comes out in July, Batman's death in another medium would make front-page news, especially since Captain America's death made the New York Times front page last spring.

By Garfield's Jim Davis! Ha, no. This time-lapse shows Meredith Gran drawing her comic strip Octopus Pie, from rough sketch to line art to shading, in six minutes. But if you don't care about seeing the detail work, watch her draw another one in two minutes instead. Both are below.

OMG everyone, Lu Ann from Apartment 3-G is going to appear on the soap opera comic-strip version of The View. [Comics Curmudgeon]

"Twenty-three years ago, twelve strange children were born in England at exactly the same moment. Six years ago, the world ended. This is the story of what happened next." FreakAngels is a new graphic novel published online in weekly installments by Warren Ellis. The zany, dog-hating author is best known for Transmetropolitan, from which Valleywag cribbed the "I Hate it Here" tag and the Spider Jerusalem Award. FreakAngels opened last week with a blackout-drinking young lady and her steampunk helicopter. This week: Shotguns and jerricans. Next week, I predict, something bad happens to puppies. (Image (c) Warren Ellis 2008)

Jonathan "novelist-hot" Lethem's Omega the Unknown is a project that you might not know about unless you're a geeky comics reader. Then again, even if you are a comics reader, sales figures indicate that you might not know about it either. The most recent numbers place Omega's third issue at 177th among the most sold comics at retail—trounced by Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus #4, but kicking the butt of Zombies vs. Robots vs. Amazons #1.

Coined by R. Stevens in his webcomic Diesel Sweeties, "social nerdwanking" means lording your social-network superiority over others, which is secretly the only reason you bother with Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Orkut, and every other social network. Except your legitimate if fruitless use of Adult FriendFinder.

No, Victoria's Secret, I don't want to be your friend. Who are you empty-profile people sending out friend requests? I don't even know anyone who lives in that state. If longtime users have learned anything about Facebook, it's really little more than a friend-finding game. A game whose rules have become increasingly difficult to decipher as Facebook rolls out all these branded channels and marketer-assembled product profiles. It's so absurd that Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik, authors of the videogame-focused Web comic Penny Arcade had to take a break from critiquing the game industry.

Marvel is hesitantly entering the digital era with a new subscription service that grants access to its back catalog, and eventually will offer new releases on a (much) delayed schedule. Unfortunately Marvel is taking too many cues from its copy-fighting brethren in the music and television industries. Digital comics will be locked to a proprietary reader on its website. [PaidContent]

From cartoonist Hugh MacLeod, a concise explanation of why Apple CEO Steve Jobs keeps pushing his company deeper into the music business, and why rock star Bono has joined tech private-equity firm Elevation Partners.

The Internet is boring. Even the most interested/interesting man I know, artist and dandy Jonathan Grubb, is bored with it in eight ways. (Granted, he's also super-excited; the man equivocates like he's running for president.) Grubb's insidery analysis speaks to those embedded in the dot-com industry, but here's a wider view of why the Internet is boring, starting with the pinnacle of mediocrity called LOLCats.

NICK DOUGLAS — Some of them you recognize, some of them you don't. Here are the twelve funniest people on the Internet today, including Ze Frank, Brad Neely, Worker #3116, and that crazy lady at Violent Acres.