Humans often measure a dog's time in "dog years." But how does a dog, Gawker's oldest and youngest employee, measure the time? "It's just that I don't have a watch, you see. Nor do I have a clock, a cell phone, or a sundial," a dog admits. "I have the time in my mind. I got time on my mind. But I don't have the time."

A dog, Gawker's bravest essayist, returns this week with a never-before-told tale of struggle. "There was a time, not long ago, when I came to face an obstacle in my life," he shares. "Not an obstacle like when you walk on one side of a small tree only to find that the leash on your neck is connected to a hand on the other side of the small tree, thereby making forward progress impossible; an obstacle more like 'something scary.'"