Humans often measure a dog's time in "dog years." But how does a dog, Gawker's oldest and youngest employee, measure the time? "It's just that I don't have a watch, you see. Nor do I have a clock, a cell phone, or a sundial," a dog admits. "I have the time in my mind. I got time on my mind. But I don't have the time."

A dog maintains a Kinja blog at dog.gawker.com.