Mosi Secret, the New York Times' incredibly named "sin and vice" reporter, has found a sex club and lost his innocence. Fortunately, he also found Naiad, a willowy Columbia student who poses as a mermaid from the Hudson and does sex things, to restore his faith in humanity.

At the same time as 20,000 students gathered for a vigil honoring the victims of last week's mass shooting, cops seized 7 guns and about 1,000 rounds of ammunition from a 21-year-old Santa Barbara student who nearly shot a neighbor through the wall of his apartment.

Is getting a college degree "worth it?" Yes, economically speaking, statistics show that getting a college degree is "worth it." But is it "worth it" by other, less materialist measures?

Jessie White, a 99-year-old woman from Belfast, Maine, was finally granted her college degree from Bangor's Beal College after the college's president stepped up and paid the $5 transcript fee she'd not been able to afford in 1939.

Shorter Bret Stephens: You college brats are all lefty molly-coddled pissants. Now, please hire me to do more commencement speeches! Wah wah wahhh, Bret. Wah wah wahhhh.

Free speech on campuses is dead! Didn't you hear? Leftist fascists are forcing universities to cancel commencement speakers that they find objectionable. Others are getting protested. It's awful! Where is the freedom? Actually, the freedom is in the protesting.

It's widely recognized that the insanely high pay of corporate CEOs is connected to poorly run companies in which executives use shareholder money as their personal ATM. Did you know that public universities are exactly the same? It's true!

A 22-year-old woman has reportedly confessed to making multiple bomb threats to try and cancel Quinnipiac University's commencement last weekend, because she didn't want her family to know she had blown all their money and wasn't graduating.

The NCAA declared the University of North Dakota's Fighting Sioux mascot "hostile and abusive" in 2005, and the state voted to remove it in 2012, which leaves the school without a nickname until 2015. Not to worry, though. A group of students has found a solution: Use the same mascot, but add a beer bong to the logo. There's no way this could possibly backfire.

An undergraduate student group has announced plans to hold a Satanic "black mass" on Harvard's campus Monday evening, freaking out Catholics and conservatives who probably figured the Ivy was a dark servant of Beelzubub all along.

A private jet company is offering an itinerary to fly your child around to tour colleges for only $43,500, more than the cost of a year's college tuition.

Stanford University has announced that it will divest its endowment funds of coal company stocks, which has the twin benefits of making a powerful statement on behalf of the environment and making Harvard look like timid little scrubs.

A former Portland State University undergraduate has filed a $1 million lawsuit against her faculty mentor for sexual harassment over the professor's alleged obsession with the student's experiences as a BDSM model and sexual-abuse survivor.

Washington University in St. Louis has announced that a petting zoo bear that bit several students has been determined not to pose a rabies threat. The students won't need treatment, and the bear, who was originally slated to be euthanized and tested, will be spared.

Your college professors are racist and sexist as all get-out, says science.

Four years of university completed, tens of thousands of dollars spent, and now you're ready to accept your diploma and head off to reckon with an economy where the unemployment rate for new college graduates just went down to 11%. What can you do on stage that would be a perfect metaphor for your life situation?

Last year, Timothy Flanagan was hired a president of Illinois State University. In March, following an "incident," Flanagan stepped down after seven months on the job. He got a half million dollars on his way out the door. For what?

Professor David Petraeus will return to CUNY this fall to re-teach a course called “Are We on the Threshold of the (North) American Decade?” Enrollment starts on Monday.

Interesting little tidbit for all good liberals to chew over: a list of the U.S. cities with the very worst income inequality includes an inordinate number of university towns.

In a 6-2 ruling announced on Tuesday, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 2006 ballot initiative in Michigan that banned affirmative action policies in publicly funded institutions, including state universities.