The Internet was afire today with the news that Amazon.com is selling a guide for pedophiles. Tonight, Anderson Cooper let his disgust be known when he opened AC360 with a related segment and called out Amazon's hypocrisy in the process.

CNN anchor John King got so frustrated with his "magic" computerized touch-screen wall before the elections that he had a "meltdown" and told crew "I wish I brought a gun to work." To shoot the wall, one hopes.

Janet Jackson was the guest for the hour on Larry King Live tonight. In two of the interview's most awkward moments, King a) told Jackson that her album title was "self-crediting," and b) didn't understand one of her obvious jokes.

Your election night prime time cable news ratings are in. Fox News: 6.96 million viewers. CNN: 2.42 million. MSNBC: 1.94 million. Compared to 2006, Fox is way up, MSNBC's steady, and CNN's down. You get what you deserve, America. [NYT]

Moments ago, President Obama's Connecticut rally was interrupted by activists looking for more global AIDS funding. Obama reacted by telling them that "the other side" doesn't fund them (not true) and suggested they interrupt Republican rallies (classy!). Watch inside.

Tonight, Larry King gave us an epic #OldPeople moment when asking Julian Assange why he left an interview with CNN International's Atika Shubert. Basically, King saw footage of the previous walkout... and mistook it for a live shot. Watch inside.

Lillian McEwen, the book-touting former girlfriend (as in, way former) of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, previously said he was addicted to porn. On tonight's Larry King Live, another revelation: apparently, quitting alcohol made Thomas go absolutely cray-cray! Video inside.

Asked by CNN about his company photographing people's homes for its "Street View" feature, Eric Schmidt said, "we drive exactly once. So you can just move, right?" When will Google's CEO stop saying frightening things awkwardly?

In addition to facilitating the largest military leak in U.S. history yesterday, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is a petulant man-child. Watch him walk out of a CNN interview when talk turned to his pending Swedish rape case.

Greta Van Susteren, Fox News anchor and power-blogger, was channel-surfing before her show tonight. (God knows she doesn't "prepare" or anything.) She happened on CNN's Parker/Spitzer, and was disgusted by the orgy of Bush-bashing sexual innuendo she witnessed therein.

Poor Eliot Spitzer. The former governor's new TV show sucks, and now the rich people at the Harvard Club of New York City have rejected his application ("a rare snub") to talk about money and play squash with them. Ouch.

Tonight, Larry King welcomed Jon Stewart to discuss the "Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear," his new book, and more. Then, randomly, King decided to gift Stewart a Porta-Potty. It was awkward, hilarious, and oh so much more. Watch inside.

Today, we learned that Christine O'Donnell didn't know the Constitution established a separation of church/state. Tonight's Larry King Live tackled the issue, but it wasn't the discussion that entertained—it was King's hilarious set-up of the segment. Watch inside.

Tonight, the entire world was riveted by the latest chapter in a disaster that has unfolded in front of cable news cameras for weeks. Christine O'Donnell's candidacy! Tonight O'Donnell and her Democratic Delaware Senate opponent debated live on CNN.

[Anderson Cooper tweeted this picture tonight, writing: "in IA for story on ape communication. The apes asked me to dress as a rabbit. Weird, huh?" Very! Pic via Anderson Cooper's Twitter]

Okay, CNN's dynamic new public affairs program Park-Spitzer had a rough start. But hey, Monday night's episode was the time slot's biggest failure in years. And it set up Larry King for his worst ratings in a decade. Green shoots!

Ex-CNN anchor Rick Sanchez gave his first interview since being fired last week on today's Good Morning America. He shows remorse, then plugs his book. He also doesn't believe there are any Hispanics anchoring primetime shows, even if there are.

Chris Armstrong, the openly gay University of Michigan student body president who was systematically harassed by a Michigan assistant attorney general, was on CNN last night to denounce bullying. Watch his interview and his attacker try to defend his position.

Last night on Countdown, Keith Olbermann named Rick Sanchez the "Worser Person in the World" for the apology (non-apology?) that the former CNN buffoon issued earlier today. Inside, video of Olbermann's slam, during which he called Sanchez's remarks decidedly anti-semitic.

What made former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez accuse his ex-bosses of racism? Apparently, he couldn't figure out why he was being "overlooked" while former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer—who "can't take cues or stick to timing"—had a show.