A new statistical analysis finds that "there is less than a one in one hundred thousand chance" of the past 30 years of temperature records happening unless greenhouse gases are causing global warming. So add that to, you know, the huge pile of evidence, idiots.

Edward Lazear, a former economic adviser to George W. Bush, argues today that cutting carbon emissions enough to mitigate global warming is a lost cause, and we are better off pursuing a strategy of "adaptation" to a fiery new world. This is why pessimists should not be in charge.

A new day has dawned, and with it, a new draft of a new United Nations report on climate change has leaked unto the world. Like the turning pages of a calendar as one draws closer to death, the report brings tidings that grow worse, and worse, and worse.

This month, an oil refinery on the Delaware River sought approval from state officials and Army engineers to reinforce its facilities. Why? Because the earth is warming, storms are churning, and the sea level's already high enough to endanger the oil company's business.

Earth broke another all-time heat record again. "We are living in the steroid era of the climate system," one researcher says. Together, there's nothing we can't do! Except for reversing global warming.

A new UN report laying out a path for the world's nations to avoid catastrophic climate change suggests that the U.S. begin cutting carbon emissions "more than 10 times faster than the Energy Information Administration's forecast last year." This will never happen without a carbon tax, so let's make one, fast.

They call it "rolling coal" or "hybrid repellent." It is what it sounds like: "pollution porn for dudes with pickup trucks," a setup that costs hundreds or thousands of bucks and gives liberal-hatin' drivers a way to protest Obama by puking clouds of exhaust smoke on little lefties in their lefty cars.

This weekend, Hank Paulson, the Republican former Treasury Secretary and Goldman Sachs CEO, wrote an op-ed calling for a carbon tax. Has the political landscape shifted enough to make a carbon tax a real possibility?

President Obama is expected to announce today a new initiative by the Environmental Protection Agency to reduce the United States' carbon dioxide emissions by 30 percent from their 2005 levels by 2030. The plan, according to the New York Times, would be "the strongest actions ever taken by the United States government to fight climate change."

Carbon emissions are causing global warming. Global warming is a slow motion disaster. The consensus is that we must make drastic changes soon. How? We need a carbon tax. A carbon tax is our only hope. Time for a carbon tax now.

As mainstream U.S. presidential candidates persist in pretending that global warming may not be real, at least one sector of society is already busy planning for the coming catastrophe: big corporations.

If you haven't been watching the new Daily Show, John Oliver's Last Week Tonight, start. In Sunday night's episode, Oliver settled the "debate" on climate change by tearing the 25% of the American public still "skeptical" about certain physical realities a new asshole.

Bill Nye the Science Guy brought a gun to a knife fight by trying to employ actual facts in a debate about climate change on CNN's Crossfire earlier this week.

On Tuesday, just five weeks after the UN published its own damning report on climate change, the White House released its National Climate Assessment. The findings, contributed to by more than 300 climate scientists and technical experts, are terrifying.

A Scientific American editor who went on Fox News and tried to discuss climate change today found the experience to be "not something that I wanted to be a part of in the future." The station also apparently tried to remove video of his appearance from its website, but thought better of it.

Yesterday, the U.N. released a new report on climate change. Basically, we're fucked: According to the report, the damage from global warming is likely to be "severe, pervasive and irreversible" and will almost certainly lead to environmental and economic disaster, including widespread famine in the world's poorer countries.

Man-made climate change happens. Man-made climate change kills a lot of people. It's going to kill a lot more. We have laws on the books to punish anyone whose lies contribute to people's deaths. It's time to punish the climate-change liars.

In 2013, there were 10,885 published, peer-reviewed articles that researched anthropogenic, or man-made, climate change. Only two argued that the phenomenon wasn't real, according to the geochemist who compiled them.

With a million people in the dark and hundreds of trees around Philadelphia blown down, the latest winter storm looked a lot like Superstorm Sandy. "This damage is very similar to what we see during hurricanes." Pennsylvania Public Utility Commission spokeswoman Jennifer Kocher told the AP.

Here's some terrible news to mark the beginning of permanent fire season in California: It's going to stay like this, hot and dry, until May. The Climate Prediction Center says winter will come and go without the usual winter storms that provide the snowpack that provides all the water people use. Fire conditions will be awful until summer, when they will continue being awful until next winter, if winter ever shows up again.