A story circulated Friday afternoon in which Biggest Movie Star in the World Will Smith, who's built an unparalleled career trading on his intense likability, offered a Scottish reporter some of his seemingly sympathetic thoughts on Adolf Hitler's motives—comments that were quickly extracted and repackaged by several online out-of-context-celebrity-quote-farming outlets, accompanied by judicious headlines such as "Smith: 'Hitler Was a Good Person.'" Seeing as Smith's fabricated love of Hitler and Jesus's gift-exchanging birthday extravaganza seemed to us an uneasy pairing, we ignored it, but it nevertheless got enough play to warrant the issuance of an angry statement in which Smith reasserted his rejection of all things Hitlerian:

Unlike Judd Apatow's last movie, which was hailed by 40-year-old virgins the world over as being the first sensitive portrayal of their shared predicament ever committed to screen, Knocked Up was less embraced by potential knocked-uppees, who felt the female lead had greatly settled for a less-than-ideal lot in life. Star Katherine Heigl addressed her misgivings with some of her character's choices in a recent Vanity Fair, a statement that sparked much debate, and one that she now feels the need to qualify:

When we informed you yesterday of the lawsuit against the New York Post brought by Maximilia Cordero—the woman who might have been born a man (but she says not!) and who might have been raped by "billionaire financier" Jeffrey Epstein when she was underage—we apparently made some mistakes, according to her lawyer and live-in ex-boyfriend, William Unroch. Unroch wrote us yesterday to request a clarification, and his letter is posted below.

Finally, someone explains why the Lower East Side American Apparel shows a DVD of topless Jewesses in its window. "'Provocative ads are a tried-and-true strategy for fashion companies,' said Ron Berger, chairman of Advertising Week 2007. 'I'm not saying showing nipple is mainstream, but you have to be blind not to see the Calvin Klein ads where the guy is wearing a pair of briefs and his penis looks like it is 14 inches long.'" [AMNY]

Every so often, the tabloid media's desperate desire to see a positive male influence enter troubled pop star Britney Spears' turbulent life gets the better of it (after all, gossip-sheet editors want nothing but her happiness), an overzealousness that results in stories of romantic attachments to any nearby Superman who might swoop down from the clouds and halt the runaway train of her post-Federline existence moments before it hurtles off a cliff. People corrects the record on recent reports that Spears and paparazzi deflector/infant deceleration specialist Daimon Shippen are, to use the parlance of our celebrity-obsessed times, "totally doing it."

On last night's edition of Larry King Live, CNN's in-house confessor to the disgraced Hollywood stars played host to the latest stop of embattled former TV surgeon Isaiah Washington's Breaking the Silence: I'm Mad As Hell And Not Going to Take It Anymore Tour, on which the controversially non-renewed Grey's Anatomy actor, freed of an apparent ABC/Disney gag order by his dismissal from the show, is taking to the media again and again to inform the public about the myriad conspiratorial forces (racism, gay puppetmasters, etc etc) that led to his being cast out of horny-doctor Eden.