Conservative mouthpiece Matt Drudge turns 43 today. Writer Fran Lebowitz is 59. John Cleese is turning 70. Kelly Osbourne is turning 25. Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver is turning 42. Duran Duran's Simon Le Bon is 51. Financier J. Christopher Flowers is 52. Director Ivan Reitman is turning 63. Oscar-winning Italian actor Roberto Benigni turns 57. Novelist Zadie Smith is 34. And Marla Maples, the second wife of Donald Trump and the mother of one of his five kids, is 46 today.

• Renee Zellweger is going to be spending the holidays with Bradley Cooper's family in Philadelphia. Meanwhile, Bradley Cooper's ex-wife, Jennifer Esposito, is now engaged to Australian tennis player Mark Philippoussis. So everyone's happy, right? Well, except for Jennifer Aniston, that is. [NYDN, People]
• Speaking of happy couples, now that they've supposedly inked their pre-nup, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom went out and inked themselves with each other's initials, too. Marriage after just a couple months, now matching tattoos... what could possibly go wrong? [People]
• Madonna planted a tree to kick off construction of her new girls' school in Malawi. She wore heels. And she looked awkward. [AP]
• At Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner's wedding on Sunday, guests were given a gift bag containing a book in Hebrew and flip-flops with a tag that read "Ivanka and Jared—what a pair." Of course, that's a step up from the wedding invitations which contained a promotional flyer for one of Donald Trump's golf courses. [NYP]

Diane von Furstenberg's visit to Madrid this past weekend didn't go very smoothly, it seems. (We'll assume that American Express made an extra special effort to replace her credit cards given she's a spokesperson for the company and all.) But she says she wasn't injured during the robbery, so you can stop worrying now:

• Bad news for CNN: The network now occupies fourth (and last) place in the cable news ratings. Not only did it fall behind Fox News and MSNBC in October, it also dropped below its sister network HLN as well. [DF, NYT]
• More bad news for newspapers: Sales were down 10 percent between April and September; the New York Times' weekday circulation has now fallen below 1 million for the first time in two decades. [AP, NYT, AdAge]
• As rumored, Forbes carried out a round of job cuts today. [NYT]
• Ricky Gervais will be the host of the 67th Annual Golden Globes. [LAT]
• If you love Top Chef and Top Chef Masters, you'll be pleased to hear that a third iteration, Top Chef: Just Desserts, will debut on Bravo next year. [THR]
• Rosie O'Donnell's new Sirius XM show debuts next week. Get excited! [USAT]
• Self editor Lucy Danzinger has no need for the Town Cars normally provided to Condé Nast editors. After she's finished running six miles in Central Park in the morning, Condé's bravest editor straps on a helmet and bikes to work! (Except when it's snowing or she has an important meeting, of course.) [NYT]

A New Jersey neurosurgeon named Gregory Przybylski is the proud new owner of Bernie Madoff's Mercedes station wagon. The fun-loving doc scooped up the vehicle (which he says is "a part of history") for $14,250 at a government auction last Friday. Meanwhile, the RV that once belonged to fraudster Sam Israel was auctioned off as well, selling to a Brooklyn car dealer for $27,500. [NYP]

Ever find yourself feeling a little depressed after leafing through the latest issue of Vogue? You're not the only one. According to new research, women with normal body-mass indexes demonstrated lower self-esteem after they were shown a series of photos of very thin models. The cure: Go look at a bunch of photos of very fat women and your self-esteem should be back where it was in no time. [NYT]

When you boarded a plane in the old days, you might have worried about a terrorist storming the cockpit, a mid-air mechnical problem of some sort, or even a drunk pilot passing out behind the controls. Yea, well, there's officially a new danger in the sky: Your pilot could be too busy surfing porn on the web or watching videos on YouTube to realize he's missed your destination.

Ever since McKinsey & Company finished up its three-month review at Condé Nast a few weeks ago, the publishing giant has been busy cutting costs, closing down four magazines and laying off staff at most of its remaining titles. But perhaps instead of hiring the pricey consulting firm, Condé should have traveled to the front lines to talk to one of the guys who sells magazines for a living? To gain some insight into the future of printed media and find out what sells (and what doesn't), we headed over to a newsstand on Third Avenue to chat with a kind gentleman named Naseer. You'll find his thoughts on the layoffs and career advice for unemployed journalists below.

Back in September it was reported that only one photo would be released following Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner's wedding (just like JFK Jr. and Caroline Bessette!), since they had no intention of making any money on the sale of photos and wanted to keep the event private. It looks like they changed their minds (or decided John and Caroline weren't the best role models): Getty Images has at least five photos of the wedding for sale that it's distributing to media outlets for free, as long as they agree to write a positive story." You can view the pics for yourself here. [Popsugar]

With the elections eight days away, Mayor Bloomberg has widened his lead. He's now ahead by 18 percentage points, according to a new Quinnipiac poll, which is up from 16 points last week. [NYT]

Natalie Portman looking for a cab after having lunch at DGBG on Saturday ... Jake Gyllenhaal shopping with his dad in the East Village ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts pushing their kids in a stroller ... Gisele Bundchen walking to lunch in the Village, and later leaving at Whole Foods after doing some grocery shopping ... Anne Hathaway and Adam Shulman walking downtown ... Lindsay Lohan shopping ... Emmy Rossum talking on her phone in the meatpacking district ... Mary Louise Parker chatting with a man on East Houston ... Jessica Szohr shopping in SoHo ... and Hugh Jackman walking in the West Village with daughter Ava.

• Julian Schnabel has finally unloaded the triplex penthouse at his pink-hued Palazzo Chupi on West 11th Street. Originally listed for $32 million back in 2008, it sold for $10.5 million to Bill Brady, the head of Credit Suisse's technology banking practice. It's the second unit Brady has purchased in the building; he paid $15.5 million for another apartment three years ago. As for Brady's previous abode—a duplex at 744 Greenwich—he sold that place to Google co-founder Sergey Brin last September for $8 million. [NYO]
• Investor Keith Gollust has closed on the sale of his townhouse at 11 East 82nd Street. The 25-foot-wide building, which financier Ron Perelman once owned, had been on the market for $29.5 million when it went into contract last month. It sold to an unidentified buyer for $24.45 million. [Cityfile]

Jeffry Picower, the billionaire investor and philanthropist accused of collecting $7 billion in profits from Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, was found dead in his Palm Beach swimming pool on Sunday afternoon. An investigation into his death is underway. Update: The medical examiner who performed an autopsy now says the drowning was the result of a massive heart attack.

Hillary Clinton turns 62 today. Julian Schnabel is turning 58. Dylan McDermott is 48. Napoleon Dynamite's Jon Heder is turning 32. Keith Urban is 42. Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is turning 36. Rita Wilson is 53. Novelist Marisha Pessl is 32. Times theater critic Ben Brantley turns 55. Singer Natalie Merchant is turning 46. Jaclyn Smith of Charlie's Angels fame is 62. And game show host Pat Sajak turns 63 today.

• Brad Pitt lives. Although his motorcycle was rear-ended by a paparazzo's car on Saturday and he lost his balance, neither he nor his bike suffered any damage, although he did get to exchange a few "heated" words with the photographer before leaving the scene. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan's downward spiral continues, not surprisingly. She's been dropped by her record label, Casablanca Records, and there are reports that she isn't even getting paid for her gig as Emanuel Ungaro's "artistic adviser." And she's been on a "serious shopping spree" in recent days, which probably isn't good news. Then again, she's being followed around by camera crews, so maybe this will all be turned into a reality show at some point. [P6, NYDN]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner tied the knot in front of 500 guests yesterday in an "over the top" ceremony at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. (On hand for the big event: Andrew Cuomo, Rudy Giuliani, Anna Wintour, Barbara Walters, Sheldon Silver, and Emmy Rossum, among others.) The couple is heading to Africa on their honeymoon. [NYP]

Have some info to share with us? You can email us at tips@cityfile.com or use this handy form to send us a tip anonymously. Or, if you prefer, you can call 1-888-940-1999 and leave a message. Thanks!

• Opening soon: The NYC branch of London's Le Caprice opens at the Pierre Hotel on Monday; Tipsy Parson, by the owners of Little Giant, plans to open its doors early next week. [GS, TONY]
• Now closing: Alex Ureña shuts down Pamplona on East 28th Street today. [NYT]
• Photos and the drink menu from Daniel Boulud's new Bar Pléiades at the Surrey Hotel. [GS]
• Oceana is looking to get someone to pay $275 to eat a 70-year-old lobster, although reaction to the offer/PR gambit hasn't been all that positive. [BN]
• Sparks Steak House has settled a class-action lawsuit which accused it of stiffing waiters on tips; $3 million will be distributed to 200 employees. [NYP]
• Sad: The iconic Empire Diner in Chelsea (above) is now up for lease. [Eater]

• The job cuts at Condé Nast continue. (Apparently laying off everyone at once would have just been too easy.) Yesterday it lowered the boom at Vanity Fair and GQ, although VF editor Graydon Carter managed to shield his eyes from carnage since he'd jetted off on vacation earlier that morning. [NYP, WWD]
• News Corp. appears to be the front-runner to buy the Travel Channel. [NYT]
• NBC has picked up Community, Parks and Recreation, and Mercy for the full season. It's also signed Adam Carolla and Don Cheadle to each do a show.
• Last night's premiere of The Jeff Dunham Show set a new record for Comedy Central, which, if you've seen Dunham, is a sad statement indeed. [Wrap]
• Silliest rumor of the day: Politico reported this morning that friends were urging Fox News chief Roger Ailes to run for president in 2012. But that's not going to happen, of course, so a few hours later Politico posted Ailes' denial.
• The first official portrait of the Obamas was taken by Annie Leibovitz. [VF]
• A few early predictions for Best Picture, if you're interested. [LAT]

If you're the kind of person who uses the speaker phone function on your cellphone in public—thus subjecting strangers to both sides of your totally mundane conversation—be sure to read what happened to "Argentine opera diva" Gabriela Pochinki when she pulled the stunt at an Upper West Side restaurant last week. These stories never have happy endings, we assure you. [NYDN]

Michael Bloomberg built his estimated $16 billion fortune thanks to Bloomberg LP, the financial news provider he founded in 1981. Thirty years later, it is now one of the most lucrative media operations on the planet. Banks and large corporations pay $1,250 a month for each Bloomberg terminal that's installed in its office. There are no discounts available and the company never engages in price negotiations. And while Bloomberg faces competition from the likes of Reuters and Dow Jones, neither company has been able to successfully dislodge the grip that Bloomberg has on the financial media marketplace. No wonder. Getting Bloomberg to cancel your monthly subscription is about as easy as getting Columbia House to stop billing your credit card for those "free" DVDs it insists on sending you every month, even after you've called the 1-800 number a dozen times to complain.