• Was she depressed or just drunk? Months after Kirsten Dunst returned from rehab, she's now telling people she never suffered from alcoholism at all, and instead checked in to treat depression. Whatever you say. [Us Weekly]

Christie's won't be offering up multi-million dollar contemporary art on June 25th. Boxer shorts and wifebeaters will be on the agenda: The auction house will be selling off outfits worn by the cast of The Sopranos as part of a charity fundraising effort for a group called the Wounded Warrior Project. Up for bid: Tony's "signature outfit," which "appeared most notably in morning sequences in the kitchen of the Soprano house, or when Tony retrieved the morning paper from the driveway in front of the Soprano home." Too casual? Perhaps a Christopher Moltisanti track suit is more your style. Or if you're stocking up for Halloween, there's always this ensemble from the Season 6 episode when Uncle Junior shoots Tony in the chest. Presumably the fake blood stains account for the significantly higher reserve price.

Such generosity! Curtis Sliwa, the founder of the Guardian Angels and the on-again/off-again host of a radio show on WABC, is graciously volunteering to run for Vito Fossella's Congressional seat. Naturally, the attention-seeking competitive pickle eater, stickball champion, and rumored candidate for public advocate, didn't hatch the idea himself: It's the will of the people! "As I walked along Forest Ave, for the Memorial Day parade, as I do every year, something seemed different. I was greeted from time to time with chants from the crowd urging me to jump into the race if no other candidate did so," Sliwa wrote to local Republican party officials. A trip to Washington seems an unlikely scenario for the beret-wearing Sliwa, although if he were to be win, it's safe to say he'd be only member of Congress with a cheesy techno track on his MySpace page.

• Ruffle-loving fashion designer Betsey Johnson closed on a one-bedroom, 850-square-foot condo on the 10th floor of 30 East 85th Street for $1.854 million.

Poor Georgina Chapman. Turns out the rising fashion star's wedding to Harvey Weinstein last December didn't go nearly as smoothly as some guests may have imagined:

The top real estate broker in the solar system, Prudential Douglas Elliman's Dolly Lenz, may be leaving her job—and not of her own accord, either! That's the scuttlebutt Rush & Molloy relay this morning, saying that Lenz and Elliman's co-owner, her onetime BFF Howard Lorber, are now on the outs: they conspicuously avoided each other at Elliman's intra-company awards ceremony two weeks ago and they don't even share grotesquely overpriced dinners at Cipriani anymore. Harsh! The News gossips called the hyperbole-prone Lenz for comment and she denied everything, of course, and also took the opportunity to clarify that she owns"in excess of nine" Blackberrys, not a measly five. We await the inevitable "Hello, Dolly" headlines when she and her ever-expanding sack of Blackberrys resurface at Corcoran.

Commercial real-estate history was made this weekend when the debt-inundated Macklowe family saved their rear end by selling the GM Building to Mort Zuckerman's Boston Properties for $2.9 billion, but the juiciest part of the story was the behind-the-scenes battle between Harry and Billy Macklowe. The Wall Street Journal is out with a story this morning about the intrafamilial friction, which basically portrays Macklowe the elder as a past-his-prime loose cannon who irresponsibly bet everything on a $7 billion folly, and Billy as a young genius who heroically saved the family fortune from his father's incompetence.

Next time you see former MTA chair Peter Kalikow zipping around town in one of his four dozen Ferraris, take pride in the fact that little old you made his ride that much more pleasurable: It turns out that Kalikow and the other real estate fat cats who've served on the MTA's board are gifted taxpayer-funded E-ZPasses for life. Kalikow, whose outrageously huge Ferrari fleet includes custom-made numbers like the Ferrari 612 Scaglietti, has eight freebie E-ZPasses alone; MTA vice chair David Mack, another real estate bigshot, isn't doing too bad for himself either with six. How to know which luxury vehicles to glare at to express your distaste for this policy? The gratis E-ZPasses are a limited-edition orange as opposed to the standard-issue white.

It looks like Eddie Lampert, the beleaguered billionaire chairman of Sears/Kmart, has a new secret weapon to revive the company's fortunes: LL Cool J. The struggling big-box chain signed up the rapper to design a children's line called LL Cool J for Sears, according to WWD, which will include items like $22 graphic T-shirts and $50 pairs of jeans. The upcoming ad campaign will feature J with his wife, Simone, and their four kids: Najee, Italia, Samaria and Nina. And to think some investors have been concerned that the company is lacking in big, brand names now that Kmart's deal with Martha Stewart will come to an end in 2010.

In case you weren't invited to their parties over the long weekend, feel free to extend your belated birthday wishes today to Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain (52), socialite Annie Churchill (37), architect Bruce Fowle (71), who all celebrated birthdays yesterday. Turning a year older today: fashion designer Behnaz Sarafpour, who is turning 39, and Henry Kissinger, who will be blowing out 85 candles this evening.

The Wall Street Journal begins a three-part series on the downfall of Bear Stearns today: "Months before regulators pressured the firm to sell itself, nervous traders futilely begged Alan Schwartz and his predecessor, James Cayne, to raise more cash and slash Bear Stearns's huge inventory of mortgages and the bonds that backed them. At least six efforts to raise billions of dollars—including selling a stake to leveraged-buyout titan Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.—fizzled as either Bear Stearns or the suitors turned skittish. [WSJ]

• Everyone was partying in the Hamptons this weekend. Molly Sims celebrated her birthday in Sag Harbor. Leo DiCaprio partied at Dune. Jeffrey Chodorow and Charlie Walk threw a dinner at the Kobe Beach Club. Even newly-convicted felon Wesley Snipes, who is free on bail, flew in to get wasted at a party in Water Mill. [Page Six]

Jeff Zucker isn't making many friends these days. After tussling with Harvey Weinstein a few weeks ago over the fate of Project Runway and then feuding with Fox over the Bill O'Reilly-Keith Olbermann feud, he's now directing his aim at Fox Business News. He told Charlie Rose that the upstart posed no competition to CNBC: "It's not even, frankly, in the same universe with us." To which Fox replied in an official statement: "In Jeff's universe, where his entire career has been based on failing upwards, CNBC's performance would be considered a success." More analysis here. The video from Rose's interview with Zucker is here.

Ingrid Sischy, the former editor-in-chief of Interview, is still alive, in case you were concerned. She may have been ousted by the mag's owner, Peter Brant, back in January, after he acquired (ex-wife) Sandy's shares in the company. But just in case you might have thought she'd descended into a pit of depression or something, she was kind enough to check in with Page Six today to reveal she and (now girlfriend) Sandy are "enjoying their new jobs," are "soaking up the sun," and "rubbing shoulders with movie stars in Cannes." Lest that make her seem superficial, she'd also like you to know she's been thinking of the "plight of Chinese earthquake survivors." From Elton John's villa in Mexico.

So was the Beacon Theatre sold? That's what the Real Deal claimed yesterday when it reported that the venue had been purchased by Steve Ross's Related Cos. for $33 million. But Related denied the story and the address listed in the article—207 West 76th Street—well, that's a block north of the theater and the venerable home of the Tri-Star parking garage, as the Beacon's website indicates in the section that highlights places you can park your car. Of course, the theater may still be for sale. You'll have to direct your inquiries to Jim Dolan: The Beacon is controlled by MSG Entertainment, which is part of Cablevision. Considering what a big Allman Brothers fan he is, don't get your hopes up.

• Naomi Campbell certainly made a splash in Cannes. After starting off her birthday taking ex-con Christophe Rocancourt—best known for pretending to be a Rockefeller heir and Oscar de la Renta’s nephew—to a movie premier, she capped off the night with a meltdown at Diddy’s yacht party and ended up leaving around 3 a.m. in a fit of rage. What was she so upset about? Who knows, this is Naomi Blackberry-in-your-face Campbell we’re taking about here. [NY Post]
  

• Say goodbye to CBS2's Jim Rosenfield. He's been axed as part of cutbacks at the network, and today will be his last day. The belt-tightening also claimed the jobs of Andrew Kirtzman and Scott Weinberger.

Faux Ecuadorian socialite Fabian Basabe has an explanation for that arrest a few weeks ago in Los Angeles for unzipping his pants in a dark alley. As you may recall, the former New York resident was arrested for peeing behind an alley outside LA's Crown Club, which his lawyer at the time attributed to Basabe's "bladder problem." The story has changed, it seems! "I was NOT peeing against a wall, and most importantly, I did NOT have my pants down at any time," Basabe tells Paper. Oh, and don't expect him to be sending any roses to Richard Johnson any time soon: "Gossip columns lack so much integrity today," he tells the downtown mag. No, integrity is getting ejected from a club in the Hamptons for using the N-word, lying about just about every detail from your past, making regular appearances at gay clubs while claiming to be straight, and trying to pass yourself off as rich when your dad is, in fact, a bankrupt motel manager.

Naomi Campbell turns 38 today. Do be careful when she celebrates the big event in Cannes tomorrow eve: The Dolce & Gabbana-sponsored fete will feature Lindsay Lohan on the turntables. Other birthdays today: Fashion publicist Nathan Ellis is 34. Would-be Coney Island developer Joseph Sitt is 54. Artist Ghada Amer is 45. And the very youthful looking cosmetic dermatologist Lisa Airan—who says she's never gone under the knife herself—turns 43 today.

• Lily Donaldson, the 21-year-old Vogue cover girl, plunked down $2.2 million on an apartment on Avenue B. Perhaps not coincidentally, she now has about six bars in a three-block radius. [Observer]