These may be sad times economically, but there's encouraging news on the sexual equality front: At last, men are suffering from the same kind of crippling vanity as women, as evidenced by sales of men's fitness mags, gym attendance, and levels of manorexia and "muscle dysmorphia syndrome." Responsible, of course, are advertisers, and their increased use of "undressed male models" in ads. But we're sure the internet should somehow take credit too. [Times UK]

Martha Stewart may have estates in Bedford, East Hampton, Westport, and Maine, but there's one piece of real estate she did not get and from the sounds of it, she's still a wee bit annoyed about it. When the Daily News asked about her biggest real estate regret, Martha tells the story of how she was in negotiations to buy a seven-floor mansion directly across the street from the Met. It was right around Christmas, though, so she decided to take a vacation, which is when a "Russian real estate magnate" swooped in and picked up the place, leaving her out in the cold. So who who is this Russian who is still on Martha's bad side?

CNBC execs haven't been this happy since Osama bin Laden came along: According to the Journal, the cable network has seen ratings soar in the last few days, the sort of bump they haven't witnessed "since the 2001 terror attacks." Glad this is working out so nicely for you guys! [WSJ]

♦ Brian France, the chairman of NASCAR, has flipped his 34th floor condo at 15 Central Park West. He sold the apartment for $18.8 million, $8.2 million more than he paid for the three-bedroom apartment just three months ago. [Real Deal, NYP]
♦ Freddie Mac CFO Anthony Piszel has put his three-story waterfront vacation home in Easton, MD, on the market for $5 million. [NYP]
♦ Jets head coach Eric Mangini sold his home in Garden City for $2.225 million, $75,000 less than what he paid for the property in 2006. [Newsday]

If you're a vulture investor and you're profiting from the current market turmoil, it's only expected that you'll generate a bit of negative press. When you make your big bets in England, though, you get to see yourself described as a "greedy pig" in the headline. The Mirror reports today that New York's very own Phil Falcone—the hockey-loving billionaire mogul who purchased the Guccione mansion last year for $49 million, has a giant stake in the New York Times, is the proud owner of a pet pig named Pickles, and is married to the plastic surgery-lovin' Lisa Falcone—may have earned "hundreds of millions" by betting that the price of Britain's HBOS would fall.

Believe it or not, there's an area of your body you may not have developed a complex about yet, but plastic surgeons have anticipated (created?) your need to have it corrected anyway: The back lift is here! Yes, it leaves a huge scar, but it's under the bra line, so it'll be $10K well spent. [MSNBC]

James Gandolfini got married a couple weeks ago. Today he celebrates a birthday: He's 47. Others on the b-day list today: Lance Armstrong is 37. Designer Karim Rashid is 48. Jada Pinkett Smith is turning 37. Actress (and former Talk Soup host) Aisha Tyler is 38. Holly Robinson (of 21 Jump Street fame) is 44. Senator Bob Bennett of Utah is 74. Actor/murder suspect Robert Blake turns 75. And actor James Marsden is 35.

♦ You'd think that for $85,000-a-month, you might shell out a few extra few bucks on a maid. Apparently not. According to the Star, there's no one cleaning up after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids, and their French chateau is a complete pigsty that "looks like a war zone." [Star]
♦ Jennifer Lopez raised $127,000 for charity by competing in the Malibu triathalon. She then flew directly to New York and spent $800,000 on Marc Anthony's birthday party. [MSNBC]
♦ According to the always reliable Joe Francis, Lindsay Lohan is straight. [E!]
♦ Lindsay: Please don't discuss how you're supporting Barack in November. You're embarrassing him. [NYDN]

And that's that. Microsoft says it will begin a "new phase" of its marketing campaign for Vista today—and it doesn't include Jerry Seinfeld who signed on less than a month ago. Eva Longoria and Pharrell Williams will pitch the evil empire instead. [Bloomberg]

♦ The world's major central banks teamed together to flood the markets with dollars as part of an effort to contain the unfolding financial crisis. [WSJ, NYT]
♦ Morgan Stanley has been in talks with Wachovia, Wells Fargo and the Chinese bank Citic; Morgan's CEO, John Mack, blames short sellers and rumors for yesterday's big drop. [NYP, CNBC, Dealbook, WSJ]
♦ Washington Mutual's bankers at Goldman Sachs are "frantically looking for a buyer or a capital infusion in the next several days." [NYP]
♦ Rules introduced by the SEC today will make it harder for traders to drive down prices and will require them to share more info about their trades. [WSJ]

The bad news: Washington Mutual is seeking a buyer, Morgan Stanley is now in merger discussions with Wachovia after Morgan's stock dropped 27 percent today, the Dow has fallen more than 800 points this week, and the dollar took a beating today amid concern over the AIG bailout. The good news? There's always plenty of nonsense to distract us from the pain.

Chelsea Clinton made a surprise appearance at a meeting of Lehman Brothers’ bankruptcy committee this afternoon. (She was there to represent the hedge fund she works for, Marc Lasry's Avenue Capital.) But let's move on to the more important question: What was she wearing? "She was smartly dressed in black pants, white collared dress shirt and black vest, very blond hair up in a bun. Her chic black shoes appeared to have a platform, and her name was etched on her cell phone." [WSJ/Deal Journal]

♦ Leonardo DiCaprio's romance mojo isn't good this week: On the heels of his break up with Bar Refaeli, Gisele is banishing the memory of their relationship by selling the jewelry he gave her at auction. The October 15th Christie's sale will include a diamond pendant necklace estimated to fetch up to $150,000. [WWD]
♦ People's "Best Dressed" list, topped by Kate Hudson and including Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker and (of course) Michelle Obama, is a totally random list of averagely-dressed women who happen to have been photographed a lot lately. [People]
♦ Carla Bruni-Sarkozy was photographed in Paris last week for T's winter fashion issue, which comes out October 19th. [WWD]

Brokers Wanted [AP via Valleywag]

♦ Rupert Murdoch says he has no plans to buy the New York Times. He also wants you to know that Fox News chief Roger Ailes is staying put: "He's not going anywhere. He's very happy. I'm very happy with him. We're good friends and we get on well" [SAI]
♦ Katie Couric's interview with Sarah Palin is official. [AP]
♦ A day in the life of Brian Williams and Erin Burnett, courtesy of the Observer's Meredith Bryan. [NYO]
♦ Newark's Star-Ledger may go under. [NYP]
♦ Consumers don't actually want to surf the web, talk on their cell phones, read a newspaper, and watch TV all at the same time. [AdAge]
♦ The New York Times will begin providing business commentary from Breakingviews.com. [NYT]
♦ Ariel Foxman is the new managing editor of InStyle. [Gawker]
♦ Ratings for the fifth season premiere of House were down from last year's debut, but Fox still managed to beat the competition last night. [TV Decoder]
♦ Craziest idea ever: Steve Irwin's 4-year-old son Bob wants his own wildlife TV show. [NYP]

If your agent at William Morris isn't returning your calls today, don't be too concerned. It's "volunteer day" at the agency, which means the next season of Entourage may very well feature of scene of Ari Gold feeding homeless people in South Central. [Deadline Hollywood]

♦ A very modest Daniel Boulud says his restaurant on the Bowery will be "the greatest diner on earth." [NYP]
♦ Serge Becker's new Swiss restaurant, Cafe Select, is finally open to the public, albeit only for lunch for the moment. [Eater]
♦ Frank Bruni says he doesn't understand the concept of bottle service. This might have something to do with the fact that he's 43. [NYT]
♦ Apparently you can find some decent food in Little Italy. [Metromix]
♦ Photos from Little Italy's festival of San Gennaro. [GoaG]
♦ Marco Pierre White thinks fellow Brit chef Gordon Ramsay is boring and only interested in money. [NY Sun]
♦ A round-up of the best bagels in New York. [VV via Eater]
♦ Alaskans really do eat moose meat. They serve it as steak, make it into hamburger meat, and even use it as a pizza topping. Yum. [NYT]

How is Hank Greenberg, the ex-CEO of AIG, feeling today? Not good! Sure, he's pissed that AIG's current management team led by Bob Willumstad didn't turn to him for his "suggestions and help." But he's a lot poorer, too: His shares in the insurance giant were valued at more than $700 million last year. As of this morning, his stake is worth roughly $28 million. [WSJ]

Say hello to Dr. Robert Glatter. According to the Post, he's the emergency room doctor known around town as "the official doctor of the city's 'fashion bitches' such as Elie and Rory Tahari, Diane von Furstenberg, Devi Kroell and the cast of Gossip Girl." (We're not too familiar with HIPAA regulations, but we're pretty sure that calling your patients "fashion bitches" is a no-no.) Anyway, it seems answering Diane's late-night phone calls isn't Dr. Glatter's ultimate goal. The PR-seeking doc—he has Karine Bakhoum on retainer—recently started up a company called Dr. 911, which is providing medical services to the residents of a few ultra-luxe buildings like 40 Bond and 15 Central Park West.

Dick Fuld's enthusiastic assistant has returned to her desk! The same young lady who was picking up the Lehman Brothers chairman's line on Friday—but was noticeably absent yesterday—is once again taking Dick's calls. We can't imagine dealing with calls from pesky reporters all day is much fun, but we salute you for your dedication and hard work. And we hope Dick's lined up a job for you at Barclays.