The Hotel Carter must have cleaned up its act. Although the Midtown cesspool came in at No. 1 on TripAdvisor's list of the "dirtiest hotels in America" last year—the third time it had received the award in the past four years—it's nowhere to be found on the travel site's 2010 list. Congrats, though, to the New York Inn on 8th Avenue for landing the No. 6 spot. In the newly cleaned-up Times Square, it isn't easy finding a place that features drugged-up prostitutes, floors crawling with mice, and urine-soaked sheets. But it's good to see someone is keeping history alive. [TripAdvisor, previously]

The woman who lost her balance at the Metropolitan Museum of Art last Friday and created a six-inch tear in a 105-year-old painting by Pablo Picasso did quite a bit of damage. Although the work will be restored over the coming weeks—and the gash will resemble a "tiny pencil line, if that" once that's done—an appraiser says the $130 million painting may be worth half as much following the accident. [NYT, NYP]

• CNN anchor and chief business correspondent Ali Velshi has picked up a new apartment on the Upper West Side. Velshi and his new wife, portfolio manager Lori Wachs, paid $1.85 million for an apartment at The Harrison at 205 West 76th Street. The couple scored a deal, too. The two-bedroom condo went on the market for $2.65 million back in 2008. [Cityfile]
• Luke and Julie Janklow have officially closed on the sale of their West Village townhouse. The 25-foot-wide home at 16 West 12th Street, which first went on the market for $24.975 million last year, had been listed for $17.95 million when it went into contract earlier this month. It sold to developer Ara Hovnanian and his wife Rachel for $15.35 million. [NYO]
• Adriana Mnuchin, the wife of ex-banker/art impresario Bob Mnuchin, has sold a fifth-floor apartment at 956 Fifth Avenue for $7.5 million. She won't need to worry about moving, though. Mnuchin and her husband paid $20 million for a much larger apartment at 944 Fifth back in 2008. [Cityfile]

Mayor Bloomberg's war on smoking, transfat, sugary drinks, and salt must be paying off! The city's Department of Health reports the life expectancy for babies born in NYC stands at 79.4 years, which is up five months from 2006 and 19 months from 2001. [NYDN, NYP]

Ellen DeGeneres turns 52 today. Retired hockey star Wayne Gretzky is turning 49. Rocker Eddie Van Halen is 55. Orlando Magic guard Vince Carter is 33. Actor David Strathairn turns 61. R&B singer Anita Baker is turning 52. Singer-songwriter Lucinda Williams is 57. Model Frankie Rayder is turning 36. Actress Sara Rue (Less Than Perfect) is turning 31. Mega NYC real estate broker Serena Boardman is turning 40. Top literary agent Suzanne Gluck is 50. And perma-tanned socialite Denise Rich celebrates her 66th birthday today.

• NYC Winter Restaurant Week begins today, in case you weren't aware. [SE]
• A roundup of restaurants opening over the next week. [NYM, Eater, TONY]
• A few theories on the recent shakeup at the Four Seasons and the ouster of acclaimed chef Fabio Trabocchi just three months into his tenure. [NYP]
• Did your waiter use your Amex to go on a shopping spree? Maybe! [Eater]
• Burger King may soon start serving beer along with lousy burgers. [NYDN]
• Model/ex-City cast member Adam Senn has a new restaurant. [GS]
• In other reality TV news, here's what you missed if you didn't make it to the Midtown bar where Pauly D of Jersey Shore DJed on Saturday night. [TONY]

[Photo: Quite All Right]

• Is Fox about to "swoop in" and sign Conan O'Brien to host a late-night show on the network? That's the rumor. In other, not-at-all-surprising Conan news, his final Tonight Show on Friday generated huge ratings. [NYP, NYDN, LAT]
• News networks are preparing to scale back their operations in Haiti. [NYT]
• The "Hope For Haiti Now" album will debut at No. 1 this week. [Reuters]
• Diane Sawyer's ratings are up 8% since taking over World News. [NYDN]
• Avatar was No. 1 at the box office for a sixth weekend in a row; it bypassed Titanic today to become the highest-grossing movie of all time. [LAT, THR]
• The Ticketmaster-Live Nation merger has been given the go-ahead . [DF]
• The grim ad climate for fashion magazines seems to be improving. [WWD]
• Comcast's acquisition of NBC will face a few hurdles in Washington. [AP]
• Oprah was "America's favorite TV personality" in 2009, according to a new poll. Frighteningly, Glenn Beck and Jay Leno were No. 2 and 3. [Reuters]

If those inane questionnaires that online dating sites use to try and pair you with that special someone have yet to pay off, perhaps Eric Holzle can help. For $2,000, you can join Holzle's dating site, ScientificMatch.com, and he'll match you with someone who is "genetically compatible" with you. Yes, you'll need to provide the company with a DNA sample. ("Just a cotton swab you rub on the inside of your mouth for a few seconds," says Holzle.) And don't expect to hear about how the technology has worked wonders for Holzle himself: He's 45 and single. [WP]

Harold Ford has yet to decide if he plans to challenge Senator Kirsten Gillibrand in New York's Democratic primary this fall—he says there's an 80 percent change he'll enter the race—but he sure looks like a candidate. In addition to taking a leave of absence from his job, traveling the state to shake voters' hands, and registering the domain FordforNewYork, he's now sprinkling Yiddish into his interviews.

Hundreds of celebs turned out on Friday evening to take part in George Clooney's "Hope for Haiti Now" telethon. But a few non-celebs were in the studio, too, including pharmaceutical billionaire (and noted sunglasses enthusiast) Stewart Rahr, aka "Stewie Rah Rah, the #1 King of All Fun":

After everything that's happened over the past year and half, you'd think it would be obvious to AIG and its CEO Robert Benmosche that the company probably shouldn't be using its five (yes, five) corporate jets to ferry AIG execs off on vacation. You'd be wrong. Fortunately, Benmosche and government regulators have now settled on a "Luxury Expenditure Policy," so when Benmosche diverts one of AIG's planes to stop off at his vacation home in Croatia in the future, he'll have to reimburse the company for the flight. [WSJ, Reuters]

Madonna leaving the Kabbalah Center in Midtown ... John McEnroe sitting in the stands at a Knicks game with daughter Ava ... Ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer walking home from a jog on Saturday afternoon, accompanied by one of his daughters ... Ethan Hawke driving a car with his wife and kids on the UES ... model Coco Rocha walking with boyfriend James Conran ... Renee Zellweger heading to the airport en route to Sundance ... Tina Fey filming scenes for 30 Rock ... Sarah Jessica Parker getting out of a car in front of son James' school ... and Lady Gaga signing autographs for fans outside Rockefeller Center.

• Tory Burch has a new place to call home in Southampton. The fashion designer/socialite has closed on the deal to buy the late Howard Gittis' 14-acre estate on Ox Pasture Lane. The 14-acre property, which Burch went into contract to buy in September, sold for $32.5 million. (Update: The Post has since corrected its story and now says Burch is "only" buying part of the property for $16 million; an "unnamed neighbor" is buying the rest for $16.5 million.) Meanwhile, Burch's former home on Meadow Lane is still on the market for $17.9 million, if you're interested. [NYP]
• Walter Cronkite's former apartment at the UN Plaza has gone into contract just a month after it went on the market. The two-bedroom co-op had been listed most recently for $2.995 million. [Curbed, FRG]

"On Friday afternoon a woman taking an adult education class at the Metropolitan Museum of Art accidentally lost her balance and fell into 'The Actor,' a rare Rose Period Picasso, tearing the canvas about six inches along its lower right-hand corner." [NYT]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up? That's what Britain's News of the World reported over the weekend, suggesting the (unmarried) couple has been meeting with their lawyers in LA to divide up their assets. Whether any of this is true or it's just another rumor is unclear. According to a source that spoke with People, "everything is fine" between Jolie and Pitt, and the story of them splitting is "totally false." [NYDN, NYP, TMZ, People]
• The cast of MTV's most popular new show may not be back for another season. The kids from Jersey Shore reportedly turned down an offer which would have paid them each $5,000 per episode. MTV has since doubled its offer and informed them they'll replace the cast if they don't accept. In related news, the cast sparked a "near-riot" on Friday night when fans descended on a club in Montclair, New Jersey, to catch them in person. [TMZ, Us, NYDN]
• Diddy held a 1,000-person birthday party for his son, Justin, on Saturday night. The highlight of the evening—which was taped for an episode of MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen—was when Diddy gave his son what every 16-year-old needs: a $360,000 silver Maybach and a driver to go with it. [P6, NYDN]

Alicia Keys turns 29 today. Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz is turning 39. Paul Nurse, the Nobel Prize-winning head of Rockefeller University, turns 61. Architect Bernard Tschumi is 66. Kim Gandy, the feminist leader and former NOW president, is turning 56. Actress Mia Kirshner (The L Word) is turning 35. Socialite Carroll Petrie is 82. And legendary singer Etta James turns 72 today.

[January 21. Photo via Flickr]

• NBC Universal's profits tumbled 30 percent in the fourth quarter and dropped 28 percent in 2009. And that was before The Tonight Show mess and the money-losing Olympics were factored in. Good work, Zucker. [THR, LAT]
• More on Conan's departure (and his big ratings this week); Jay Leno's attempt at damage control; his sure-to-be-awkward appearance at the White House Correspondents Dinner; and the "explosion of incivility" on late-night TV.
• More on Air America's meltdown and the aftermath. [NYT, AdAge, Politico]
• How the "Hope for Haiti Now" telethon came together (Clooney made a call) and who will be taking part (140 celebs around the world). [LAT, AP, People]
• The 2010 Sundance Film Festival is in full swing. [LAT, Wrap, MTV]
• Roman Polanski has to return to the U.S. for sentencing, per a judge. [AP]
• Jon Stewart slams Keith Olbermann; Olbermann snipes back. [HP]
• The SAG Awards go down in LA tomorrow night, in case you care. [AP, NYM]
• Jim Cameron is the most important man in the world! Allegedly! [BN]

Asha Rajaratnam, the wife of accused insider-trading mastermind Raj Rajaratnam, is prepared to defend her man. And she isn't afraid to get physical, as she demonstrated earlier today when the couple left Town on West 56th Street and found themselves swarmed by photographers. [via DB]