Panic rooms have been all the rage the last few months as ridiculously wealthy New Yorkers prepare for an end-of-days scenario out of a low-budget horror movie. (Of course, some people were paranoid long before the recession came along; hedge fund tycoon Bruce Kovner, for example, is rumored to have the only safe room in NYC capable of protecting him in a dirty bomb or chemical weapons attack and he had that installed years ago.) Have you made the necessary arrangements to guarantee that you'll be okay if things take a turn for the worse and angry mobs start roaming the streets? It's never too late to ensure your home is "secure, stylish and comfortable"! Emphasis on "secure," naturally. [HalogenLife]

A couple of months ago, social scenester Paul Johnson-Calderon got caught up in a messy little scandal when he was accused of stealing a woman's handbag at the Eldridge. Calderon retreated from the scene to lick his wounds and mourn over his empty mailbox. But he's back, apparently. The party-hopping "writer" made his "official reappearance" at a benefit last week for Operation Smile. Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned, at least according to fellow 'mocialite Kristian Laliberte who says that while Calderon has promised to show up with Tinsley Mortimer on his arm, she was a no-show and he had to settle for conversation with "less prominent friends." More details on this tragic turn of events below.

Those of you waiting for a judge to throw the book at Bernie Madoff will have to wait a little longer. Madoff's sentencing has been pushed back from June 16 to June 29 because trying to decide who gets to speak at the proceeding has proven a wee bit complicated. Judge Denny Chin says it would be "impracticable" to have everyone who wants to address the court do so. (Presumably Chin was hoping to attend to other legal matters in 2009.) But it's not too late to turn in an application: "Those wanting to speak at next month's sentencing will need to e-mail the United States Attorney's office explaining why by June 10... Those selected to speak will be notified by June 15." [NYT/Dealbook]

Still ridiculously wealthy despite the downturn of the past year? Maybe you should consider selling your eight-figure Fifth Avenue apartment and moving to Zurich. According to a new survey, Switzerland is the "most attractive location" for the international wealthy, beating out places like London and New York, which came in fourth place. The analysis looked at a variety of factors, including tax rates, political stability, and the quality of education. One thing it didn't take into account? Local cuisine. Assuming you're willing to give up decent sushi and Mexican food, be advised there's a plane leaving from JFK at seven o'clock tonight. [WSJ]

If you regularly tune in to Countdown with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC, you may remember that Olbermann was mysteriously absent from the show for three days at the end of April. But Olbermann didn't just "have the night off," as David Shuster, his fill-in, said on the air three evenings in a row. According to a source inside MSNBC, it was a bizarre temper tantrum on Olbermann's part that led him to storm off the set in protest. Even stranger: The drama was all Ben Affleck's fault.

Owen Wilson shopping at the Apple store in Soho ... Olivia Palermo checking her BlackBerry outside the Standard Hotel, and later going to the DVF offices with Whitney Port ... Brooke Shields walking with her daughter in the East Village ... Jason Bateman carrying daughter Francesca on his shoulders ... Hugh Jackman going to breakfast with his wife and kids, and later jogging along the West Side Highway ... DJ Clue filming a music video with Fabulous in the meatpacking district ... Ewan McGregor leaving ABC studios ... Nick Jonas arriving at JFK ... and Jennifer Aniston sitting on a stoop with a bunch of kids on the set of The Baster in Brooklyn.

• Eve Weinstein, the ex-wife of film mogul Harvey Weinstein, has lowered the price of her sixth-floor apartment at 1133 Fifth Avenue for the second time since first putting it on the market in December for $13.5 million. The four-bedroom spread, which was reduced by $1 million in February, can now be yours for $11.9 million. [Cityfile, Sotheby's]
• Alleged scam artist James Nicholson's Meadow Lane mansion in Southampton has been seized by authorities. The oceanfront estate, which he purchased from John and Lauren Veronis for $27 million in January—and unsuccessfully tried to resell for $33 million a few weeks later—has since been appraised for $25.5 million. [NYP]

Writer/director Sofia Coppola is 38 today. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is 25. David Byrne turns 57. Cate Blanchett is turning 40. George Lucas is officially a senior citizen: He's turning 65. Actress Amber Tamblyn is turning 26. Director Robert Zemeckis is 57. Actor Tim Roth is 48. ESPN's Suzy Kolber turns 45. Poison guitarist C.C. DeVille is turning 47. And Danny Wood of New Kids on the Block is hardly a kid anymore: He turns 40 today.

• Olivia Palermo's imaginary career is on fire. The City star is reportedly leaving her "job" at DVF to "work" in the publicity department at Elle. So if you see anything in Elle that seems to have been ripped from another magazine, now you know who to blame. [P6]
• Jay-Z demanded a Maybach, champagne, "good quality" peanut butter and jelly, 12 shot glasses, and a pack of Marlboros—along with $750,000—before agreeing to perform at the University of Arizona last month. [SG, P6]
• Jesus Luz's dad says his son and Madonna "definitely" plan to tie the knot in a Kabbalah ceremony shortly. But Jesus won't have to bother signing a prenup since the marriage won't be legally binding. [NYDN]
• The good news for Amy Winehouse: She's reportedly no longer addicted to drugs. The bad: She's supposedly traded the drugs for booze. [OK!]
• Man of the people: Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was spotted flying coach on a flight from New York to DC. [P6]

Christie's auction of postwar and contemporary art last night turned out to be a considerably more upbeat affair compared to the mood at Sotheby's lackluster sale on Tuesday. The Christie's event roped in $93.7 million, a little bit less than the $104.5 million high estimate, and only five of 54 works failed to find buyers. And Larry Gagosian continued his shopping spree. The dealer beat out two other bidders for Lichtenstein’s "Frolic," paying $6 million, a new record price for the artist. [NYT]

• AIG's Ed Liddy now says the company will need three to five years to carry out its restructuring plan and repay taxpayer bailout money. [NYT]
• Hedge funds actually saw returns rise more than three percent in April. [DB]
• Walter Noel's Fairfield Greenwich hedge fund is no more. The disgraced firm is handing over its remaining $2.5 billion to Sciens Capital. [NYP]
• The rich get richer: As financial firms raise capital and pay back TARP money, it's Goldman, Morgan Stanley and JPMorgan that are profiting. [Fortune]

• Believe it or not, but some celebrities have been forced to wear the same outfit twice now that we're in the middle of a recession. Or (like Lindsay Lohan, left) they're now passing their hand-me-downs to family members. Sad times, friends, sad times. [NYDN]
• A preview of the 60 Minutes segment on Anna Wintour (which airs Sunday) is online for your viewing pleasure. [NYM]
• Phillip Lim is expanding into bathing suits, shoes, and lingerie. [Pipeline]
• A visit to Betsey Johnson's house in East Hampton. [Hamptons.com]
• Matthew Williamson's second H&M collection hits stores tomorrow. [Racked]
• Catfight! A roundup of fashion's biggest feuds ever. [TDB]

• Today in restaurant reviews: Frank Bruni gives Zak Pelaccio's new Fatty Crab two stars; the Post's Steve Cuozzo is pretty pleased with Josh DeChellis's La Fonda del Sol; and Jay Cheshes hits up Minetta Tavern. [NYT, NYP, TONY]
• The good news/bad news about the Cooper Square Hotel's Table 8. [Eater]
• Ryan Sutton on Monkey Bar: "A-listers and alcohol are the main event" while the "food is a simian sideshow." All things you knew, undoubtedly. [Bloomberg]
• It's what every chef dreams of: Tom Colicchio is on the new cover of Guitar Aficionado magazine. Yes, the mag exists and, yes, Tom loves guitars. [GS]
• It looks like the space once occupied by Florent/R&L will reopen as 69 Gansevoort Cafe shortly. It will probably remain a 24/7 diner, too. [Eater]
• NYC will look like LA pretty soon: A second Baja Fresh is on the way. [ML]

Hillary Clinton spoke to the graduating class of NYU at Yankee Stadium today. Unlike last year, no naked men ran onto the field and interrupted the commencement exercise. (It may have helped that two dozen cops lined the infield.) But if graduates were a little nervous about heading off into the worst job market in decades, the Secretary of State had just the recipe to put their fears to rest. "For those of you still looking for jobs, we are hiring a new generation (at the State Department)." In other words, if all else fails and you can't find a single for-profit enterprise in America willing to hire you to make photocopies, there's always work to be done preventing nuclear proliferation and making peace in the Middle East. [NYDN]

In case you're wondering what ever happened to publicist not-so-extraordinaire Jonathan Cheban since the glory days of 2005 when he could be seen posing for photographs holding two phones in his hands at once, the answer was revealed on E! last night. (If you don't know who Cheban is and you'd like to get up to speed, see here, here, here and here.) Cheban made an appearance on the acclaimed reality TV show Keeping Up with the Kardashians yesterday, although the Lizzie Grubman protégé was forced to pay the role of confidante to Khloe Kardashian—not Kim—which should give you a good sense for what has happened to his career as a publicist/promoter the past few years.

Because clearly there aren't enough hotels in NYC to satisfy the swarms of tourists looking to spend $500 a night on a room, Ian Schrager is building another one. And it's not going to be a plain, old five-star hotel either. Schrager is planning to convert 1414 Avenue of the Americas—currently an office building—into a "six-star" property, a designation that technically doesn't even exist in the hotel world, but is used from time to time anyway. (That's how Dubai's ridiculously over-the-top Burj Al-Arab describes itself, for example.) It's good to see Schrager is finding inspiration in his former hotel company's current ad slogan. And at least he won't have to worry about evicting the tenant on the ground floor as part of the renovation process: Jeffrey Chodorow's ode to the last boom, Kobe Club, closed last month. You see, sometimes the recession comes in handy! [NYP]

Anna Wintour appeared on stage last night at the 92Y with hotel mogul (and occasional talk show host) Jonathan Tisch playing the role of interviewer. The Vogue editor was quite the draw: Before the event, some people had supposedly offered hundreds of dollars to get their hands on tickets to the sold-out talk, and one woman waited outside for more than two hours in the hopes of getting in at the last minute. (Some kind-hearted person took pity on the lady and gave her a ticket intended for a friend who didn't show up.)

For years, doctors and researchers have stressed the importance of getting eight or nine hours of sleep. Sleep-deprived zombies can take heart in the list of people who do with much less: Barack Obama, for example, says he gets by with just four hours a night and yet he still seems capable of, like, running the country and stuff. (As for whether the same is true for members of Obama's inner circle, well, that's another issue.)

• Veteran theater producer Rocco Landesman has been nominated to be the next chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts. [NYT]
• Why did David Geffen try to buy a stake in the New York Times? It wasn't because he thought he'd make money, that's for certain. [Newsweek]
• After taking some heat over a $75,000 speaking fee he received last week, the Times's Tom Friedman says he now plans to return the money. [LAT]
• Sarah Palin's book deal with HarperCollins is a go. How much money was involved isn't clear but the memoir will be out in 2010, which just so happens when she'll be running for reelection in Alaska. [LAT, AP]
• Bad news, hooker fans: Craigslist is dropping its erotic services section. [WP]

Real Estalker has done some heroic work and assembled an extremely comprehensive (and very amusing) guide to 820 Fifth Avenue. It features lots of real estate dish, including sale prices, apartment numbers, and a couple of floorplans. If you're into who lives where (and feeling stalkerish this afternoon), you'd be well advised to take a little look-see. [Real Estalker]