The 2009 Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge held its inaugural match at the Bridgehampton Polo Club on Saturday. Polo heartthrob Nacho Figueras, Chace Crawford, chef Marcus Samuelsson, Kyle MacLachlan and Desiree Gruber, Star Jones and boyfriend Herb Wilson, and a handful of reality TV personalities (Jill Zarin, PC Peterson, Kourtney Kardashian) turned out for the action. Cityfile's roving correspondent Douglas Marshall took a few minutes to catch up with Beth Ostrosky, who turned 37 last week but gets a gold star for still fitting into her short shorts from high school.

If you come home one evening to find your doorman's disappeared and he's been replaced with a camera overhead, congrats: Your cheapo landlord has decided to outsource your doorman. It seems some cash-strapped developers are looking to reduce costs and lure in buyers with lower common charges by installing virtual doormen—"staffers sitting in command centers as far away as Florida who can buzz guests and deliveries into buildings at a fraction of the cost of a regular doorman." They can't protect you in the event a homicidal maniac tries to follow you into your building, of course. And they can't open the door for you when you arrive home in a taxi on a cold winter night. Then again, when's the last time you saw a real live doorman do that? [NYP]

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It's been a week since Bernie Madoff settled in at the federal prison complex in Butner, NC, the penitentiary that will be his home for the next century or so. How's he doing? So far, so good. Although some of his fellow prisoners have been "discussing beating him up to boost their jailhouse reputations"—they actually debate these things in advance?—they've resisted the urge up until now, mainly because they've been "impressed" that he hasn't ratted out the people who helped him carry out his scheme.

Anne Hathaway walking in the East Village with boyfriend Adam Shulman, and later shopping in SoHo with a friend (left) ... Matt Damon leaving dinner at Da Silvano ... Jennifer Lopez shooting scenes for her new movie ... Robert Pattinson walking downtown ... comedian Robert Klein walking with his girlfriend on the Upper East Side ... Pierce Brosnan hanging out on the set of Remember Me ... Jon Gosselin standing outside Accademia di Vino on Third Avenue with Star reporter Kate Major ... Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni arriving at the Carlyle... and David Beckham leaving his hotel.

• 50 Cent has put his estate in Farmington, Conn. back on the market—for about $8 million less than what he was seeking two years ago when when he first listed it. The 51,000-square-foot house, which comes with 19 bedrooms, 37 bathrooms, and a fully-functional club with stripper poles, had been listed for $14.5 million when it was taken off the market last month. It now can be yours for the bargain basement price of $10.9 million. [NYP, NYDN, CB]
• The former home of the late novelist Mary Cantwell has sold after nearly two years on the market. The 3,720-square-foot townhouse at 21 Perry Street, which was first listed for $7.75 million in 2007, was purchased for $5.7 million by Brandon Haley, a portfolio manager at Ken Griffin's Chicago-based hedge fund, Citadel Investment Group, and his wife Anna. [Cityfile]

Gisele Bundchen turns 29 today. Rocco Landesman, the Broadway mega-producer and nominee to be the next chairman of the NEA, is turning 62. Two prominent people at the New York Times are celebrating birthdays today: op-ed columnist Thomas Friedman is 56 and advertising columnist Stuart Elliott is 57. Developer Sheldon Solow is 81. Carlos Santana is turning 62. Omar Epps turns 36. Actress Sandra Oh is turning 38. Former U.S. Senator Larry Craig is 64. Composer Michael Gordon is turning 53. Aussie animal lover Terri Irwin is 45. Josh Holloway of Lost is turning 40. Former MTV VJ Simon Rex is 35. And Dancing With the Stars winner Julianne Hough turns 21 today.

• New details have emerged about Mischa Barton's involuntary trip to the hospital last week: According to the Post and the Sun, Barton was "so high on coke following a marathon three-day bender" that friends thought she might kill herself, and contacted the police. [NYP, Sun]
• Yet another fashion publicist is in legal trouble, apparently. Tim Mark Garcia, the new head of public relations for Marc Jacobs, is out on bond on "plunder" charges and is now facing extradition back to the Philippines. [P6]
• Not surprisingly, billionaire financier Pete Peterson is said to be "mortified" over how his grandson, PC, has come off on the Bravo show NYC Prep. [P6]
• French president Nicolas Sarkozy was in NYC this weekend. And he showed off his "chiseled" body when he went jogging in Central Park. [NYDN]

Have some exciting info you'd like to share? Email tips@cityfile.com.

• A group of 21 stores on the Lower East Side are coming together to offer a weekend of discounts in honor of the (capsule) trade show that's currently underway. [Pipeline, Cut]
• Modeling rates really must falling: A Hugo Boss model has been charged for taking part in the robberies of 15 gas stations and delis. [NYP]
• Eddie Bauer will survive, after all. A private equity firm is buying the company out of bankruptcy for a whopping $284 million. [BN]
• Rihanna half-shaved her head this week. Exciting! Don't think for a moment, though, it was an original move on Rihanna's part, says an outraged Joe Zee of Elle. [People, Twitter]

• Starbucks is testing out stealth coffeehouses. They're logo-less and feature "neighborhood-inspired names," though the coffee's the same. [ABC News]
• Chanterelle's Karen and David Waltuck say they're closing for a month for refresh. They'll reopen with a new, "intimate" bar and expanded menu. [GS]
• Hope you can make do without tomatoes in your salad: "A highly contagious fungus that destroys tomato plants" is spreading quickly. [NYT]
• Are you a model? Do you have an appetite? This spot's for you. [NYP]
• Kogi, the Korean taco truck that's the rage in LA, is not NYC-bound. [Eater]
• Tom Colicchio and wife Lori Silverbush say they're expecting a son. [People]

If you live near 72nd and Broadway, today is your lucky day: Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 is your new neighbor. People reports that Gosselin just rented an apartment at the Alexandria at 201 West 72nd Street. This places him right above an Urban Outfitters, so he'll be able to shop for his eight kids and new girlfriend in one, conveniently, location. It also means if you live in the 'hood, you're going to see a big bunch of paparazzi photographers on your street from now on. Go across the street and buy them a hot dog at Gray's Papaya and make them feel welcome, won't you? [People]

• Bad news for NBC Universal: second-quarter profits dropped by 41%. [MW]
• Good news for NBC News: Susan Boyle's first in-depth TV interview will take place with Meredith Vieira on the Today show next Wednesday. [NYT]
• Alpha Media, the company that owns Maxim (and used to own Blender and Stuff)—and which was sold to Steve Rattner's Quadrangle Group in 2007—has changed hands again: Steve Feinberg's Cerberus now runs the show. [NYP]
• Rumor has it Pamela Fiori may be leaving Town & Country. [P6]
• Bonnie Fuller is taking over Hollywood Life, the website controlled by Jay Penske, who owns Movieline and recently bought out Nikki Finke. [NYT]
• More Finke: Days after the LA Times ran an article on Hollywood's most powerful blogger comes pretty much the same piece in the NY Times. [NYT]
• All that bad press for CNBC a few months ago must have refocused the network on the things that matter, right? Nope. [Gawker, Zero Hedge]

The folks at Curbed bring word that a makeshift memorial has appeared outside the LES studio of Dash Snow, the downtown artist who died of an overdose earlier this week. But be warned! "Given the materials he was known to work with, we wouldn't get too close to this tribute." [Curbed]

Jared Kushner learns quick. And he's going to blend into the Trump family just fine. WWD reports today that the engagement ring he gave Ivanka was from Ivanka's own collection, a 5.22 cushion cut diamond that's "proprietary" to Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry™. Ivanka will now serve as a living, breathing ad for her engagement ring line (as well as benefit from the press attention that follows). And Jared—hopefully!—managed to knock a few bucks off the price thanks to this most personal connection. Most importantly:

"The New York Senate voted Thursday to outlaw using portable electronic devices to text, play games or surf the Web while driving. The Assembly had approved the measure earlier. It sets fines up to $150 for using handheld devices or laptops to send text messages or read, view or transmit images or data while a vehicle is moving. Gov. David Paterson is expected to sign it." [Newsday]

Enlightened hip hop mogul Russell Simmons tells New York that the worst part of living in New York is dealing with the "extreme poverty." So does that mean the yoga fanatic gives money to panhandlers? "Every one that asks!" he says. Be sure to pass along this bit of info to the homeless man standing on your corner later today. He'll be glad you did. [NYM]

Marie Douglas-David, the Swedish countess who's been embroiled in one of the nastiest divorces in recent memory, has finally settled her long-running legal dispute with George David, the chairman of United Technologies. In addition to the $45 million she got as part of postnup, she's expected to collect another $10 million or so, which means she'll walk away with about $21,000 for every day the Davids were married. [NYP]

Ali Wise won't go down as the only member of the social set to spend time in handcuffs this month. Jules Kirby, the "champagne-swilling" party girl and perennial favorite on blogs like Park Avenue Peerage and Guest of a Guest—and ex-girlfriend of Nevan Donahue, Olivia Palermo's layabout cousin from The City—was arrested in Southampton over July 4th weekend. For attempting to steal an American flag. By the way, did we mention it was July 4th weekend?

Contrary to what Goldman Sachs mouthpiece Lucas van Pragg told us the other day, it appears Lloyd Blankfein has been celebrating the bank's record quarter after all. Page Six reports today that Blankfein was spotted "celebrating Goldman's boffo earnings" with Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver at the (kosher) restaurant Prime Grill, although it doesn't say when this dinner supposedly took place, and it's always possible it was another short, bald, Jewish man in a boring suit. (There are a lot of them in this town, as you may be aware.) Meanwhile, Dealbreaker has the details about a dinner that allegedly took place place last night at Barbone, which not only featured Blankfein, but JPMorgan Chase chief Jamie Dimon as well. Barbone's located on Avenue B, which is unlikely territory for both men, but when you're trying to keep your social activities under the radar, you don't exactly book a table at the Four Seasons. Given all these meals, though, we can't help but feel a bit deceived by Goldman's corporate communications department. If there was one industry that has earned a rep for its commitment to honesty, it's investment banking! [NYP, Dealbreaker]