Chris Christie, the New Jersey governor who wants to be president of the United States but won’t, appeared on MSNBC’s Morning Joe Tuesday. When asked how he would manage New York City if he were mayor, Christie said “Stop and Frisk would be back in about five minutes.” Luckily for us, he is not mayor of New York City.
Like the narrator of the Bruce Springsteen classic “I’m Goin’ Down,” Chris Christie just can’t stop lovin’ somebody who doesn’t seem to love him back. Except in Christie’s case, it’s not the dying flame of an old relationship he wants, but the love of Bruce Springsteen himself. Recently unearthed emails show that the New Jersey governor’s adoration has gone unrequited since long before Bruce Springsteen or anyone else even knew who Chris Christie was.
At a campaign event on Saturday in Laconia, New Hampshire, Chris Christie announced that, if elected president, he would ask the CEO of FedEx, Frederick W. Smith, to devise a tracking system to combat illegal immigration.
Earlier this morning, a restaurant full of wildly unlucky, likely cursed New Hampshire voters had to pretend to eat breakfast while Chris Christie discussed the act of putting his penis inside of a woman’s vagina. Which he has done. Multiple times.
New Jersey governor and snack gourmand Chris Christie hates unions. And he really hates teachers unions. So much so, in fact, that when the bridge bandit himself was asked who he thought deserved a punch in the face, he didn’t even have to blink before confidently announcing: “Oh, the national teachers union.”
Part-time softballer and full-time Springsteen fan Chris Christie is running for president, he announced to supporters today, making him the 14th Republican candidate to enter the 2016 race. According to a recent poll, Christie commands the support of just four percent of Republican-leaning voters—putting him well out of reach of the leaderboard and two whole points behind some guy named “Rand.”
New Jersey Governor and snack gourmand Chris Christie stopped by the key primary state of New Hampshire today. At which point, Christie called for a major boost in military funding. But don’t fret over what this means for NSA snooping, because according to the bridge bandit himself, “All these fears are baloney.”
New Jersey governor Chris Christie hasn't yet announced his bid for the Republican presidential nomination. But why wait for an official candidacy to start pandering to the country's dumbest elements? Today, just months after trying to imprison an an ebola-exposed nurse, Christie came out against mandatory vaccinations.
Some wealthy guy—could be anyone, but I'm going to assume Chris Christie until proven otherwise—recently threw down $300,000 for a carb-loaded Bruce Springsteen experience.
In a press conference yesterday, moist ham and governor of New Jersey Chris Christie waved aside concerns about the treatment of a nurse, Kaci Hicox, who his government involuntarily quarantined despite her not having Ebola, by saying that she had "access to the internet, and takeout food from the best restaurants in Newark." But did she really?
Chris Christie, an antagonistic noisemaker who happens to be in charge of governing the state of New Jersey, was in Rhode Island on Tuesday, campaigning for the Republican candidate for governor there. Reporters asked him what he thought about potentially getting sued by Kaci Hickox, a nurse Christie forced into mandatory quarantine this week under his Ebola policy.
We are two short years away from the 2016 presidential election, and potential Republican candidates are already taking every opportunity to prove how much they detest the poor.
