• Madonna is taking her kids on the best summer vacation ever later this month: She's thinking about taking them to visit Auschwitz, so "they can learn about mistakes made in the past." If that doesn't pan out, she could always just invite Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie over for a visit and teach them the same lesson, couldn't she? [YNET]
• Paula Abdul announced over Twitter last night that she's leaving American Idol. True? Was she just drinking again? We'll find out soon enough. [NYDN]
• Hopeless romantic Kelly Bensimon made a move on Gerard Butler the other night, but the actor didn't reciprocate. Try your best to empathize. [NYDN]
• Great news: Ratings for Jon & Kate Plus 8 have tanked since the show came back from hiatus. Say a little prayer that this continues. [Us]
• Nominations for the MTV Video Music Awards were announced yesterday; Beyoncé and Lady Gaga came out on top, each earning nine nods. [THR]

Amy Winehouse reached into Kate Moss' handbag and stole her cocaine, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush break up, Madonna's love faxes from the early 90s emerge, Tobey Maguire's mom and brother get a reality show and Mischa Barton goes home.

Apologies to MCA: get better, man. NOW here's a little story/I'd like to tell/about one Phyllis Nefler/you know so well/she rocks the W & C of Sunday's NYT/And she's about to kick/a little history...

Have you seen the viral video of the wedding party from Minnesota dancing down the aisle to their nuptials? Well, they went on The Today Show and recreated it. How awkward was it? And has Chris Brown's career been saved?

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are tussling once again. This time, Drea De Matteo was involved. And LiLo's clothes ended up in the street. [DM]
• Speaking of troubled young stars, Mischa Barton's rep is denying reports that it was Barton's drug issues that sent her to the hospital. [OK]
• Lizzie Grubman says she was asked recently to join the cast of Real Housewives of New York City, but decided to turn it down. Our loss, clearly. [P6]
• Because fake tanning is an art, Victoria Beckham has retained the services of a "personal spray-on tan artist" to help her "shading appear more natural." [DM]

Chris Brown is really, really, really, really sorry for beating Rihanna to a pulp. [Youtube]

Chris Brown, woman-beater, showed up at Puffy's White Party last weekend wearing a $300,000 pendant "that spelled out the word 'OOPS!' in diamonds." What a fucking asshole. [YBF via The Awl]

Robert Pattinson thinks New York women are crazy, Lady Gaga gets naked in London club, Michael Bay puts Megan Fox in the corner, Josh Duhamel is an ass man, Russell Crowe throws another public hissy-fit and Rihanna's boob falls out.

• Robert Pattinson has been in NYC shooting his new movie, Remember Me, but he's been so overwhelmed by the out-of-control teenage fans who track his every move, he'd really like to return home to the U.K. [NYDN]
• Chris Brown's run-in with Rihanna isn't putting a damper on his social life: He was spotted "locking lips" with Amber Rose, Kanye West's ex, at Diddy's annual White Party this past weekend. Rose's career is picking up too: She's been signed by Ford Models. [NYDN, P6]
• Courtney Love supposedly trashed her room at the Inn on Irving Place when she stayed there a couple of weeks ago, leaving behind dirty needles, used feminine hygiene products, and a flooded floor. [P6]
• Today in Michael Jackson-related news: His memorial is scheduled for tomorrow and a gazillion fans are expected to show up; a battle over his will appears to be brewing; and Debbie Rowe flipped out when the paparazzi caught up with her outside a Chinese restaurant yesterday. [CBS, ABC, TMZ, TMZ]
• You may be hearing more from Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's baby daddy. He's shopping a book and is in talks to appear in a "docudrama." [NYM]
• Jon Bon Jovi serenaded diners at the Blue Parrot, the Mexican spot in East Hampton that he co-owns. [P6, HuffPo]

Anna Kournikova viciously brawls with another woman in a Vegas club, Leighton Meester sings and acts in a video for Cobra Starship, Michael Jackson looked frail on stage at his concert rehearsals and Chris Brown gets shut down by Jay-Z.

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick took home their adopted twin daughters, Marion and Tabitha, last week. Now they've released a photo of the whole family. Cute! And a nice palate cleanser after all the sordid Michael Jackson news the past few days, no? [People]
• Speaking of grim details from the Jackson case, here's what you may have missed over the last day or so: The doctor at Jackson's house couldn't call 911 for more than half an hour because he couldn't find a working phone (Jackson disconnected them for "privacy reasons); drugs, insiders says, were most likely the cause of death (duh); and Jackson's last will, which dates back to 2002, provided for his kids and mom, but cut his father out completely. [TMZ]

Rumors of the Goldblum/Ford deaths were greatly exaggerated, David Gregory throws a hissy over Joe Scarborough, Kate Gosselin sports a bikini in the driveway, Kim Kardashian lusts for Megan Fox and Chris Brown and Rihanna want to touch.

By now you may have heard Chris Brown copped a plea Monday in a Los Angeles court. Maybe then you found yourself wondering, "Gee...I wonder what Rihanna wore to court today?" Well, Michele Marie PR wants everyone to know!

Chris Brown has reached a plea deal with prosecutors for beating up Rihanna. It's not what you would call a stiff sentence, considering:

Chris Brown accepted a plea deal in connection with his Rihanna beat-down back in February. In exchange for a plea of felony assault, Brown will serve five years of probation and will have to perform 180 days of community labor. "Brown also was ordered to stay at least 50 yards away from Rihanna—except at industry events, when it's 10 yards—despite a request from Rihanna's lawyer that the pair be allowed in the same place at the same time." [People, AP]

Megan Fox cites confusion in explaining away the infamous flower incident, Ryan Seacrest is developing a Lindsay Lohan reality show, Kate Moss is an absolute pain in the arse girlfriend, and Katie Lee Joel's new man is shagging fashion editors.

• Rihanna is expected to speak about her alleged beating by Chris Brown for the first time this afternoon when she takes the witness stand at a preliminary hearing in Los Angeles. [NYDN, NYP]
• Both Katie Lee Joel and her rumored paramour, designer Yigal Azrouel, continue to deny reports that an affair ended Lee's marriage to Billy Joel. But Azrouel seems to have a rep for being something of a ladies man: He's "been known to sleep with fashion editors who can help his career." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker was pulled over in the Hamptons. The trooper told her that her lights were off; she turned them on; and all ended well. Yay. [P6]

Megan Fox affirms that she's single and looking, Sienna Miller claims to have never been on a date or had a one-night stand, Susan Boyle is suffering from exhaustion, and Jon and Kate celebrate their anniversary apart.

Chris Brown and Rihanna attend Game 4 of the NBA Finals, Paris Hilton has a raunchy rebound hookup with soccer star Ronaldo, Paul Shaffer almost played George Costanza on Seinfeld, Megan Fox has genetically-deformed thumbs and Madonna adopts another African.

• Paris Hilton reportedly broke up with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt after she saw him partying with a "Texas beauty queen" named Kendhal Beal. The heiress responded by throwing a fit (and some fruit and ice in Beal's direction). But don't you worry about Paris. She's got her dependable sister by her side. And she's already moved on to someone new, namely soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. [P6, People]
• Madonna will be performing her Kabbalah rituals today with an extra bit of enthusiasm: Malawi's highest court has overturned its previous ruling and has granted her adoption of Mercy James. Justice to the people! [DM]
• Dr. Drew Pinsky of Celebrity Rehab is offering Lindsay Lohan six figures to appear on his VH1 reality show. But only because he cares deeply about her well-being, not because he's interested in ratings or anything. [NYP]