Footage of an incredibly inept cargo loader at China's Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport haphazardly hurling boxes onto a conveyor belt suddenly took off today, almost exactly a year after it was first uploaded to YouTube.

A family in Nanjing, China, was left embarrassed and apologetic after their 15-year-old son was found to have defaced an ancient Egyptian relic with the phrase "Ding Jinhao was here."

A newborn baby in Jinhua, China is in stable condition after being cut from a small section of sewer pipe—where it had been trapped after its mother apparently flushed it down the toilet. Watch out; the video's a little graphic.

Surgeons at the Fourth Military Medical University in Xi'an, China, say they transplanted a genetically modified piece of pig liver into a Tibetan macaque this month, according to the state-run China Daily. The gene-altered pig-monkey was reportedly in stable condition at the army-affiliated research facility.

23 years after being abducted on his way to kindergarten, one lost boy has finally made his way back home with the help of Google Maps.

A 24-year-old Ogilvy & Mather employee dropped dead suddenly of a massive heart attack in the august ad agency's Beijing offices after working extremely long hours for an entire month.

Earlier this week, residents of the Pukou district in Nanjing, China, noticed a foul-smelling foam-like substance creeping out of a crack in the street and started asking questions.

With Marxist doctrine fading among many of the Chinese, superstition has become increasingly common with party officials looking to achieve a promotion or better workforce cohesion.

What's happening on Chinese social media? This is what's happening on Chinese social media: "A video clip titled 'Woman poops in elevator in Shenzhen subway' has gone viral on Chinese social media."

Filmmaker Zhang Yimou, who produced the over-the-top pageant of China's national glories for the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony, is being investigated by family-planning officials for siring an excessive number of offspring—"up to seven children with four women." Apparently Raise the Red Lantern was autobiographical. Fines could approach $27 million.

The latest terrible fake food scandal from China resulted in more than 900 arrests after criminal meat processors sold the chemical-soaked flesh of rats and foxes as "lamb meat." As more Chinese demand a daily supply of dead farm animals as food, crafty criminals are butchering and processing anything that moves.

A rivalry between two kindergartens in China took a lethal turn after the principal of one kindergarten allegedly killed two girls who attend the other kindergarten by lacing their yogurt with rat poison.

Users of China's home-brewed Twitter-alike Weibo have been having some fun this week with photos of the phenomenally phallic Beijing headquarters-to-be of the state-run People's Daily newspaper.

China's on a mission to ban superstition, according to Reuters. In a rare public forum, the head of China's State Administration of Religious Affairs, Wang Zuoan, announced the government's official position on religion: that it pretty much sucks.

There is growing evidence that the H7N9 virus could be transmitted person-to-person, rather than just from bird-to-person. The virus has claimed 17 lives and infected 82 people so far.

A doctor in China couldn't help herself after she recently treated a man whose colon had been perforated by the eel he had stuck up his butt.

China's president, Xi Jinping, said Sunday that "no one should be allowed to throw a region and even the whole world into chaos for selfish gain," obviously (but not directly) referring to North Korea's latest round of saber-rattling that has put South Koreans and the United States on high alert. North Korea is looking to provoke other countries enough that they are given further aid and an end to sanctions against the isolated, despotic country, while observers become worried that it might launch a new missile this week.

The new strain of bird flu that killed two men in China this week has claimed its third victim, Chinese authorities announced on Wednesday, bringing the total number of confirmed cases of the virus to nine. The news means that cases have now been reported in Hangzou, Shanghai, and Nanjing, where five victims are in critical condition in the hospital; according to the agriculture ministry, no infected animals have been discovered. H7N9, as the virus is known, is not thought to be transferrable from person-to-person contact yet, but because it may not manifest symptoms in fowl, scientists have described it as a "silent" threat. "[I]f this continues to spread throughout China and beyond China, it would be an even bigger problem than with H5N1 in some sense," University of Hong Kong microbiologist Malik Peiris told the AP, "because with H5N1 you can see evidence of poultry dying, but here you can see this would be more or less a silent virus in poultry species that will occasionally infect humans." This year marks the tenth anniversary of the SARS outbreak in Hong Kong, during which the Chinese government minimized and covered up the virus' spread, and health officials are being careful to make a show of transparency and openness over H7N9—but at least one reported case is said to have been leaked to the media in a blog post by a hospital employee. [Reuters | NYT | AP]

As we've noted before, it's possible we'll all die from the bird flu. That established, here's some cheery news — At least two people have died in China after contracting a strain of the bird flu that previously hadn't affected humans.

A high-level executive at Sotheby's International Realty recently revealed to China's state television broadcaster that he personally helped a Chinese mother buy a $6.5 million Manhattan apartment for her daughter.