Here is a video of some Chinese soldiers tossing around a live hand grenade, dumping it into a hole, and then acrobatically leaping away from the blast in unison like some weird Busby Berkeley number from Hell. When did it happen? Is it real? Why are the doing this? Who knows. The Atlantic Wire has some ideas. Go China!
Apple fanboys in the U.S. have nothing on their Chinese counterparts. The launch of the iPhone 4s in China caused an actual riot in Beijing, with the gadget-hungry crowd flinging eggs at Apple's sparkling flagship store.
Okay, "stupid" isn't really the most nuanced way to describe this. It's also quite funny in its tactlessness, once you work through all the racism and vomit a few times. It shows clips of Jon Huntsman speaking Chinese, which everyone knows he speaks because he was the ambassador to China. There is also, what do you call it, "stock Chinese music" playing in the background. It notes that Huntsman has adopted two daughters from the East. None of this is congratulatory, however; it takes the more racist is Jon Huntsman the Manchurian candidate? path. Who made this wonder of wonders?
A billionaire tycoon from China named Long Liyuan died suddenly and mysteriously two days before Christmas. The only clue: a still-steaming bowl of half-eaten cat stew. Could it be? No, it's simply too easy, too dastardly, altogether too meowtrageous! But it's true: The cat stew was poisoned!
Hackers in China have reportedly gained total access to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's computer systems, including six weeks of emails relating to the lobbying group's Asia policy. After the FBI alerted the Chamber to the breach, the pro-business group hired private computer investigators to fix the problem. But the free market has been utterly helpless to stop this communist menace.
First there was Kim's whole wedding debacle, now there's the PR bombshell that some of the clothes the Kardashians sell on QVC and other products they endorse are made in China using what is akin to slave labor. Uh-oh!
If your parents like to pull the annoying ol' "when I was a kid, we trudged five miles in the snow to get to school because we were tough (unlike you kids nowadays)" act, this video of Chinese schoolkids braving icy rivers and risking fatal falls just to make it to class will put them in their place.
It's about time Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was recognized for his work in Chechnya, where Russian Federation troops killed as many as 5,000 civilians and 10,000 Chechen troops, as well as displaced a quarter-million refugees. Thankfully, the China International Peace Studies Center has stepped forward to bestow its prestigious Confucius Peace Prize on Putin for the "iron hand and toughness" he peacefully displayed in his invasion of Chechnya.
China: Not too hard on people who run over toddlers, but absolutely brutal when it comes to greedy civil servant grandmas with their hands in the cookie jar! A 50-year-old zoning official nicknamed the "land granny" was executed after having amassed a $23 million fortune in bribes and embezzled funds.
Continued proof of Lady Gaga's transcendence: a choir of senior citizens recently performed a spirited rendition of her 2009 hit "Bad Romance" on China's Hunan TV.
An Australian tourist traveling through southern China stumbled upon a small, furry creature trapped inside a cage labeled "koala." For 139 yuan ($22), the animal could be either "braised or stewed" for dinner — just one of many exotic, live options available for your gustatory pleasure at a restaurant in Panya district, Guangdong.
Two people have been arrested for the hit-and-run death of Wang Yue, the Chinese two-year-old left to die in the street. No word on what the formal charges are; police used the now-infamous surveillance footage to identify the suspects. As much as we dislike how camera'ed up and Big Brothery our public spaces have become, we're glad this particular incident was captured on video. [Washington Post]
Her name was Wang Yueyue. She was run over—twice—in a crowded market in Fushan, China, last week as at least 17 passersby drove, walked, and bicycled by without lifting a finger to help her for almost ten minutes. Chinese officials announced today that she has died of her injuries, just as those 17 people intended.
Last week, a two-year-old girl wandering in the street in a market in Foshan, China, was hit by a van. The driver stopped for a moment and continued on, rolling over the girl again with the van's rear wheels. Over the course of the next seven minutes, as she lay in the street bleeding, 17 passersby walked over and around her—one truck ran over her again—without helping.
So, here is the kind of care you can expect if you are a migrant worker in China who cuts off his own thumb in an accident: The doctor will, over your objections, replace the missing thumb with one of your toes. Aaaaand... that's basically it. You say your foot hurts and your new thumb-toe is useless? No, sorry, that's actually not true: "Huiyang Bone-setting Hospital... insists that the thumb has recovered." We tend to agree with this commenter: "Strongly recommended that the doctor transplant his buttocks onto his head!" [ChinaSmack]
On Thursday night, China launched Tiangong-1, its first space laboratory, and the first step in an ambitious plan to build a complete manned orbiting space station by 2020. Naturally, to show off its handiwork, the Chinese government released an animated video simulating the launch of Tiangong ("Heavenly Palace"), set to the soaring strains of, uhhh, "America the Beautiful." Why? "I don't know how to answer your question," Chen Zhansheng of the CCTV propaganda told The Guardian. "I cannot help you." Clearly a ploy to lull Americans into a false sense of security while the Chinese use the space station to beam mind-control rays into the brain of their puppet-president "Barack Obama"! [Guardian]
