Paparazzi terrorize Britney, who just wants to shop. 12-year-old Jaden Smith gets his first bodyguard. Lindsay Lohan's driving privileges are restored. Milli Vanilli star works on weird comeback. Wednesday gossip makes a list and checks it twice.

Christina Hendricks' Christmas tradition is destined for raunchy jokes. Chelsea Handler called Angelina the c-word. Michelle Williams gained 15 pounds for a role, and reveals her un-diet secrets. (Ice cream.) Monday gossip slips a sable under the tree.

Last night while chit-chatting with the lovely Kate Bosworth, Chelsea Handler had herself a little brainfart. We forgive her though, it's got to be hard to keep it together with the girl from Blue Crush smiling at you.

Viewers tuned into last night's Chelsea Lately happened to catch a ridiculously entertaining segment with Stamos. He talks about Cloris Leachman's intentions to have sex with him, his love of Chelsea, Glee, and the name of his penis—Cyclops.

It's true. We know where and when the amazing ceremony will be. Will you be invited?? Sit by your mailbox and wait! Also today: Miley Cyrus dares to be a teenager, Sandra Bullock is accosted, and Bristol Palin news.

Previously we showed you the house that the E! comedian was renting while searching for her dream home. Well, she's finally found said fantasy palace, a $5.9 million, 5,572-square-foot mansion in Bel Air. There's a poolside TV! Talent pays.

Keenan Cahill is a YouTube sensation who's known for making lip-sync videos to popular songs from his bedroom. Recently, Keenan made a video for Chelsea Lately of "Down On Me," which featured a cameo from 50 Cent himself. Watch inside.

Just in case you haven't had enough of all things Jersey, there is a new show out called My Big Friggin' Wedding, and it's filled with the classless dummies that the Jersey Shore has made so familiar to us.

And she's gonna like it. Also today: Yay for Fox News, they are great. Yay for Chelsea Handler, she is great. Watch a video of actresses complimenting each other, and hear the good news about two skinny dark-haired guys.

Does this make you feel better or worse about your love life? Apparently, thousands of American men would rather have sex with a machine than a human, because "robots don't break your heart." Yeah, that seems like pretty solid logic.

Chelsea Lately — never one to shy away from fat jokes — discusses the Marie Claire blog referring to fat actors as "disgusting." Inside, watch the Lately panel get on their soapboxes to sing "fat people are fun!"

Today at Gawker.TV, Stephen Colbert calls out anti-gay GOP candidates, Barney gets sexually childish on HIMYM, NeNe undergoes a Real Housewives nose job, Chelsea Handler hates the CW, and the Back to the Future cast reunites on The Today Show!

In her opening monologue last night, Chelsea Handler hilariously schools tween network the CW on their creepy teacher-student storyline in Life Unexpected. In other news, I now know that Life Unexpected exists.

Jared Leto handpicks a gyrating babe for his next music video. Brangelina spend the day at a bath house. Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent: Back on? Monday gossip could use a good steam bath.

Jenny McCarthy told a story about the time she had her manager shove Gabbana (of Dolce & Gabbana) into a wall, after thinking he was a crazy person trying to attack her. Watch to hear how Gabbana evened the score.

Chelsea Lately celebrated its 600th episode last night by reviewing the evolution of the show through a montage of her sidekick, Chuy. Perhaps we should call it "the politically incorrect use of Chuy" instead.

Well, the stale jokes didn't actually build anything. Handler is supposedly just leasing this house until she can find the purchasable palace of her dreams. The place sounds lovely — modern but lush — and well worth the $35,000k/month.

Jessica Simpson's dad blows off our troops. Lindsay Lohan gets visited by the 'rents. Chelsea Handler and Nick Cannon engage in the worst twitter fight ever. Jesse James has is own personal HIV panic. Sunday Gossip Roundup is getting warm.

The powerful pop singer is apparently launching a nail polish line for his target audience—tween girls. Speculative sources on Chelsea Lately claim the ubiquitous sixteen year old musician is more interested in pranks than entrepreneurship.

Gosh darn it, she really just isn't going anywhere. Also today: Some really great reality show ideas sound really great, including one with Heidi Klum "interacting" with your children. Plus news of the economy!