Considering their billion dollar charitable trusts, the answer points to "No."

Punch a Kardashian of your choice in the face for less than $300. Bid now.

In advance of Goldman Sachs' anticipated gargantuan charitable donation calculated to mask the stench of its taxpayer-financed cash bonanza, CityFile rummaged through the past recipients of Goldman's largesse. Guess what they found? Tony, preposterously expensive private prep schools, that's what!

Things have gotten so bad that unpaid corporate interns are literally starving. Across America, interns are desperately prostituting their fresh young smiling faces in return for a single box of Little Debbie muffins, so they may live another day.

Why charge for reporting when you can just beg readers for the cash to do it? One news outlet's already taking the progressive step of doing so.

Last week we identified Luisa from Rio as the probable lucky future journalist who's the $13,000 high bidder on a (priceless) Huffington Post internship in a charity auction. Then she emailed us! Meet her:

Who in the world would bid $13,000 for the right to be an unpaid Huffington Post intern? This lady from Brazil, we think:

This memo from Michael Golden went out to New York Times Co. employees this morning, telling them the company's foundation is suspending its grant-giving, and its gift-matching program. Unfortunate, but probably necessary.

Last year, book-publicist-turned-essayist Sloane Crosley left no promotional stone unturned to sell her book I Was Told There'd Be Cake, including constructing dioramas based on each essay. Now you can own one.

Nobody could blame Oprah for one sex scandal at that save-the-youth school she opened in South Africa, but now that there's another sex scandal there, we must ask, "Does Oprah love sex, and scandals???"

St. Patrick's day is coming up, and you know what that means: time for New York Post media columnist Keith Kelly's annual "Kelly Gang" dinner event! Famous Irish types, attend or else.

Not that charity is ever bad in any form, but Madonna could probably do better than sending old clothes and her own damn children's book to the Malawi orphanage where she found her son, David.

Last week we had a very clear piece of advice for human campaign prop Joe "Wurzelbacher" The Plumber: get to plumbing! All this hype he's getting as a McCain hack isn't worth shit except free advertising for his core business of Roto-Rooting. But Joe has failed to heed our warning, surprisingly. He's broke, and he's not afraid to complain about it on national television shows such as the respected Inside Edition! Thank god those mysterious checks that appear in his mailbox regularly are at least temporarily offsetting the freeloading Obama supporters trying to take food off his family:

Every once in a while some career marketing exec will have a blinding flash of conscience, and declare that they're quitting the rat race and taking their expertise to a nonprofit where it can do some good for the world. That's not usually what happens. Usually, a marketing exec surveying the fundamental emptiness of their career will have that same twinge of conscience, and decide that the way to solve it is to bring some real do-gooding purpose into the marketing industry. On that note, allow me to introduce you to "purpose-based marketing," just the latest futile quest by a prominent career adman! Jim Stengel is retiring as head of marketing at P&G—the world's biggest advertiser—and starting up his own marketing firm that he says is about "defining what a company does — beyond making money — and how it can make its customers' lives better." Though the WSJ describes this approach as "newfangled," it's been around for years. You know what the ceiling is on the market for this type of thing? The ceiling is how much extra leftover cash companies have to throw around after they do their real marketing, which has the goal of making money. Nothing "beyond making money" comes about until the "making money" part is accomplished. Corporate social responsibility is considered a luxury product. Which is why Jim Stengel's firm is doomed, according to his less conscience-plagued peers:

"You are so gay. Shut up gaymar and stop being so gay, because what you are is gay—so gay." You probably find yourself saying this several times per day without even thinking about it, particularly if you are a member of the critical "youth" demographic. It's just how teenagers talk! They are so gay. Well, the do-gooders at the nonprofit Ad Council are about to attack you with a massive ad campaign designed to stifle your gay-talking tendencies. Could this possibly work?

Poor children in Asia: they're eating trash. Sad, poor street children, with only trash for food. Sad. Helping them to at least get some Kool-Aid is surely a worthy cause. Does that mean that you must use trash bags shaped as ghoulish little child bodies in an ad campaign to raise (sad) awareness? Yes. Yes it does. (Obviously not in New York City, where we put in children in trash bags for fun). Click through for another pic of how to save sad poor children via bodybags:

You know how PR agencies are—always looking for a way to do some selfless charity work. So international PR machine Porter Novelli came up with a great idea: round up a bunch of its young staffers and offer their inexperienced services free to those who need it most: fashion companies, models, and Penn Badgley's mom. Paying it forward is what it's all about! The little "pop up agency" within PN is called "Jack and Bill," and it displays its digital new media online internet publicity chops with a microsite, Facebook page, and a Flickr page! Needy (heh) fashion clients had to audition to win the services of the eight young 20-something staffers. They graciously picked a lawyer-turned-stylist, an apparel company, a model, and this dynamic duo:

Good, the do-gooder magazine founded by a rich young trust funder in order to raise money for charity, is, of course, a business failure. Because who wants to read that kind of magazine, really? Last time we pointed this out, angry commenters said we should give props to Good founder Ben Goldhirsh for putting his inheritance towards a worthy cause. We do! But that doesn't mean we would pay a nickel for his magazine. Clever riposte: Good is now going the Radiohead route by letting you pay whatever you want for a subscription. Ugh, is there some kind of moral imperative now? All the subscription money goes to a charity, which you can choose. You're definitely a bad person for not subscribing now. But! You can't in fact only pay a nickel; the lowest price offered is $1! Outrageous. But pay $20, and your subscription comes with a year's free admission to Good parties. I've been to one of those and let me tell you my friend, their desserts were mad off the hook. So pay $20, go to the next party with a spare bag, and you have gourmet cookies for a month. Everybody wins. Except the magazine, which will continue its inevitable slide towards bankruptcy (sorry). [via FBNY]

Jeff Raikes, a Microsoft employee since 1981 and current head of the Office Business Division, will be replacing Patty Stonesifer as the CEO of the $37.3 billion Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Raikes has been close to the First Couple at Microsoft for some time, and has some nonprofit experience through a trusteeship at the University of Nebraska. A sports fan who takes his daughter to University of Washington women's basketball games, Raikes is also part-owner of the Seattle Mariners baseball club. In the announcement, the foundation said it will be doubling the employment rolls. Look for more senior "softies" to move to the charitable organization as a pre-retirement change of pace. But the question remains why the foundation can't, or won't, hire more experience non-profit veterans to manage the fund.(Photo by Steve Jurvetson)

Kim Kardashian, some sort of reality TV star, would like to talk to you about the plight of the Burmese. Also, more importantly, she'd like you to look at her butt.