Cartoon death trailblazer South Park last night finally ran a Britney Spears episode, featuring her gruesome demise. Not to give it away, but it's not just the shotgun that does it! Oh South Park, you are truly the world leader in animated superstar celebrity tasteless murder techniques. Below, a clip [P6] of headless Britney on the show.
A tipster tells us that the odd Josh Hartnett short film on the Times' website—which shows the actor stumbling through the snow and chatting with a hotel desk clerk, as the first installment of a series that will somehow promote the NYT's fashion magazine—is the twisted byproduct of one thing only: asshole friends! Hartnett is "an extremely nice guy" and a "very loyal friend," but he's surrounded by "asshole user" fake friends who try to use him to further their careers in the industry. Or so we hear. If true, that would definitely solve the mystery of why Hartnett would make time for an aimless project like that. After the jump, more detailed ranting from our tipster, and a bonus clip of the obscure Josh Hartnett-Scarlett Johansson short that is supposedly a precursor to the Times dreck.
Converse already went ahead and co-opted the image of sacred counterculture icons like Hunter Thompson and Sid Vicious for their new ad campaign, "All Your Dead Heroes Are Our Marketing Tools." Now they've decided to go for the gusto: they're producing a limited edition series of Kurt Cobain Converse. It's all approved by the estate of the tragic Nirvana front man—i.e. Courtney Love—but um, really? "I feel stupid, and contagious," indeed. Pics of the lyrics-encrusted shoes [via Ad Age/ The Daily Swarm] after the jump.
A photographer for Flynet was innocently... doing something yesterday, when Nicole Kidman's bodyguard rushed up and brutally attacked him! The attack was, predictably, caught on film. It resembles a rhinoceros rushing a jeep full of tourists on an African safari. What made the bodyguard so angry isn't shown, but it does look like the photog got pretty bruised up from the attack. The full clip of the bull rush is after the jump; when will they learn to just throw projectiles from afar, instead of trying to pull the paparazzi out of their cars?
George Clooney is dating Sarah Larson, a 28-year-old cocktail waitress from Kent, Washington. Predictably, a guy who knew Larson since grade school has a blog, and he's written a LONG history of damn near everything he knows about her, which has drawn more than a thousand comments. Today the Daily News picks it up and refers vaguely to some of the "very personal details" from Larson's past. For you, we have read the INCREDIBLY LONG blog post and condensed it down to its interesting parts. Everything you ever wanted to know (and more) about the past of George Clooney's girlfriend, below.
Heroic woman of dance Madonna has been working for almost a year on a documentary about the obscure African nation of Malawi, her pet cause ever since she adopted a son from the country in 2006. The Material Girl tells Interview magazine (in editor Ingrid Sischy's farewell issue) that, at the time, she "didn't know where Malawi was." That's what makes adoption logistics so difficult [NYP]! To further help the imperiled nation, Madonna teamed up with the good people at Gucci for an ostentatious luxury fundraiser that coincidentally also helped to promote the opening of Gucci's flagship store in NYC. And now it's clear that Gucci's commitment has not flagged—they're selling some items that will be very useful for Malawi-bound "jungle doctors":
Comedian Orny Adams got an assignment from ET to go out stalking the paparazzi in LA. Well, it's not as much stalking as it is a "bring Orny Adams, documentarian, to work" day for the paps. But if you ever wanted an inside look at the daily grind of tracking Britney Spears (which pays well enough to afford a Lamborghini, apparently), this is a good one. Not that it will inspire you to join the ranks of the stalkers. The full clip, after the jump.
Ah, the 90s—when times were simple, and phones had cords. Two trends we look back on fondly: the brief popularity of collect calling plans like 1-800-COLLECT (when was the last time you made a collect call, while not in a foreign country or incarcerated?) and the innocent sight of celebrities (who would one day sit astride the earth as legends) doing the schlubby crap that defines the workaday life of a not-famous-enough-yet star. So this 1-800-COLLECT ad featuring dead SNL Smirk King Phil Hartman embodies all the purity of that bygone age. And hey, look at who else is in this stupid ad! I guess work is work, until that big break in Nurse Betty comes along. Video [via Best Week Ever] below.
You may have heard that the Upper East Side restaurant Philippe found itself in a dicey position today when someone told Page Six that staffers there have been relieving their boredom by watching security camera footage of celebrities like Diddy and Tom Brady cavorting in the restaurant's private rooms. We hope you also noted that their spokesman, superflack and CAPITALIZATION FAN Ronn [sic] Torossian issued a stern defense of Philippe, saying it is "completely and utterly false" that anyone could be watching the tapes. To which we would only add: please email us if you have any information to the contrary. Although such contrary information, of course, does not exist. [Ronn's firm is also looking for a new HR director. We encourage Gawker readers to apply!]
Happy news for fellas who just like to lay back with a cold one and soak up the rays: Stoner romantic comedy actor Matthew McConaughey is launching his own clothing line, called j.k. livin [Us]. The "j.k." stands for "just keep," and the "livin" stands for the recognition that stressing out over things like grammar can totally kill the leisurely pace at which life should be enjoyed. So far it looks like the line just features a half ass t-shirt, but hey, why worry? In a complementary move, McConaughey's girlfriend, Brazilian model Camila Alves, has launched her own line of astoundingly pricey handbags. Together, these items will bring the pleasures of Hollywood to you, the consumer. Photos of her $1,350 monstrosities, and her man's halfhearted t-shirt/ wristband set, after the jump.
Janet Jackson: famous, but creepy. The sheltered, fame-enslaved singer is starting to act as disconcerting as her sheltered, fame-enslaved brother. She went on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night, bringing a robotic, vacant stare and a heart-shaped hand sign that she flashes to her followers in the crowd like some Skull & Bones ritual, sending them into emotional outbursts for no apparent reason. Bonus educational fact: She calls her fans "Janet fans." So there. Click to watch and wonder what created this woman.
Glenn O'Brien is so sick of celebrities! Glenn O'Brien is co-editorial director for Brant Publications, overseeing magazines including Interview, the historic celebrity... interview magazine, founded by celebrity aficionado Andy Warhol. Glenn O'Brien says he "he avoids new movies and TV, shuns reading living authors, has no interest in commercial music," and only listens to really old comedians. Glenn O'Brien is conflicted. [WWD]
There's been a veritable outbreak, as of late, of leaked sex tapes and nude pics from a cornucopia of celebs. The released-without-consent sex tape is now officially a rite of passage for every young starlet and aging once-famous dude. And the Lohan/Monroe nude-photo extravaganza has proved what young female celebs have always told themselves: it's OK to be naked as long as it's classy or serious. What does it all mean? Is the sex tape/naked pic a career-starter or career-killer? And, more importantly, do we want? We explain the rules!
"For ten years I didn't even have a TV," the pornish-turned-serious-ish actress tells Spin in its March issue. "But sometimes when I'm really depraved, I watch Fox News. I know it's completely manipulative, but at least I get to know what Britney is doing every day. It's not even about the news. It's like a complete lobotomy." Truer words have never been spoken.
Singer Prince needs a new hip! Too much gyrating over the years, we figure, both onstage and off. The breaking point may have come during his X-rated Oscar party, complete with stripper poles. He's only 49, but the Sydney Morning Herald reports that he's "suffering excruciating pain as a result of years of blistering performances," and will undergo surgery. He can come "perform" for us anytime he'd like, soon as he's healed. [Sydney Morning Herald]
In a move that may send the space-time fabric of the Manhattan gossip media folding in on itself with apocalyptic results, Leven Rambin, the Julia Allison-connected 17 year-old All My Children actress, love object of Hud Morgan, and proto-starlet of the celebrity-industrial complex, has announced that she will be playing a "Lindsay Lohan-esque character" in an upcoming episode of "Lipstick Jungle." So, "does that mean she's a messy party girl with a coke problem?" wonders Ben Widdicombe. "'Oh yes,' Rambin nodded enthusiastically, and then added: 'The character that is, not me.'" The implications are staggering. A recap, a link to a handy visual aid, and a guide to the key questions we now face, below.
Why else would he do a publicity campaign with the voting already done? But Clooney is smooth, so very smooth: he goes to dinner at Time writer Joel Stein's house and actually starts doing home repairs on the guy's house after a couple bottles of wine. He's also got the fame game completely figured out, hates Bill O'Reilly, and he knows that all the work he does in Darfur isn't really helping.
Young brides are choosing sluttier wedding dresses these days, reports the NYT Styles. Damn right! You spend that many hours in Pilates, and damn if you don't want to show it off with "plunging necklines and negligee looks." Also, "women now are looking at their wedding more like a movie premiere." How incredibly annoying! Next, we show you the slutty wedding outfits of our favorite stars.
US Bowler Magazine's list of the top celebrity bowlers is out! And it's just a gem. The bulk of the list [via Ad Age] is taken up by athletes, which leads to much hilarious insider humor, like this line from sportswriter Norman Chad: "What is it with baseball pitchers and bowling? Heck, you don't see Mika Koivuniemi moonlighting as a middle reliever for the Detroit Tigers." Ha, fuckin-A right! But a few non-athletes do make the prestigious list, as the "Best of the Rest":
