The CDC has released its big huge annual report about this nation in which we live (America), and how our health is, here (in America). A special highlight this year is a detailed look at exactly how being poor and/ or uneducated will screw your health. (In addition to your sociopolitical status and fundamental sense of human dignity.) Don't like being disadvantaged? Don't worry, you'll die soon. A rundown:

A new study from the CDC finds that deaths from gastoenteritis—"inflammation of the stomach and intestines that causes vomiting and diarrhea"—more than doubled between 1999 and 2007, to more than 17,000 per year. The majority of those deaths were due to hypervirulent strains of Clostridium difficile.

Michele Bachmann finally found an attack line to wrest ultraconservative support from Rick Perry last night: That he mandated vaccinations against HPV for "innocent little girls," by executive order, to help his campaign contributors. Good for Michele!...??? But it's the anecdote about the vaccine leaving one girl mentally retarded that really makes this somethin' else.

Two new studies prove that if HIV-negative people take anti-HIV medication they're substantially less likely to contract the virus that causes AIDS. Don't get too excited, gays: It's only proven for heteros.

Sure, it's a thinly-veiled promo for disaster preparedness, but we can't help but be comforted by the CDC's blog post "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse." Turns out they know exactly what to do in the likely event of a zombie invasion.

According to the CDC, close to a quarter of strains of gonorrhea in America were resistant to penicillin and other commonly used antibiotics in 2009. In 2010, some strains were also resistant to all drugs doctors have to treat the clap. Will a great clap plague kill us all? Here's the New York Daily News' summary of the "catastrophic" possibilities:

Scientists have discovered the first-known case of someone catching an STD from a mosquito bite. And he gave it to his wife! Now is the time to invest in some Off! stock.

The Center for Disease Control has released the results of a survey about birth control and pregnancy given to almost 3,000 teens between the ages of 15 and 19. What did they find out?

We already know that you cocaine will kill you dead, but at least we still have pot, right? Wrong! Well, that's according to the CDC, which tried, vainly, to link leafy greens to "foodborne" death.

The New York Post reports: 500,000 New Yorkers might have Swine Flu, and not even know it. Is this flavored with any kind of fact whatsoever, or is the Post just really bored with Michael Jackson stories?