We already know that you cocaine will kill you dead, but at least we still have pot, right? Wrong! Well, that's according to the CDC, which tried, vainly, to link leafy greens to "foodborne" death.

You see, a group of pre-school teachers in California ate brownies they bought off the street and soon came down with tummy aches, tingly fingers and were nauseous. Of course the LAPD and public health officials felt it was their duty to launch a full-fledged investigation, traced the sickness to the brownies, and discovered the treats were laced with weed. Okay, so the teachers were stoned and didn't realize it.

This elementary fact, of course, was overlooked by authorities, for the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality weekly report exaggerated the incident to warn the nation that weed must show be considered "a potential contaminant during foodborne illness investigations."

Sure, we guess investigators should consider weed when looking into such matters, but doesn't this language seem a bit, oh, inflammatory? It's basically putting weed up there with salmonella, E. coli and other nasty bacteria that infects our food.

If only they would think of the bad name they're giving weed and the struggling American families who sell it to live and smoke it to cope with the nation's slow, painful decent into post-capitalist hell. Dude.

Image via splifr's flickr.