Now that heriess/socialite (so many of them these days) Lydia Hearst has had her debut role on Gossip Girl, tumblrers are wondering which Manhattan media celebs could possibly turn up on the show next. Oh that's kind of fun! Let's see, you'd have to have dating columnist Julia Allison, of course. Socialite Leven Rambin, for sure. (Plus, she's already an "actress"). Men's Vogue writer and man-about-town Hud Morgan could turn up somewhere, along with a few other notable friends/foes of this here blog. Read our seven casting ideas, after the jump.

We all love the "ultra-stylish" Real Housewives of New York City, don't we? Oh. The women are all horrible monsters (except Bethenny) who probably smell like calamine lotion and bitters? Fine, but the show's coming back anyway so you may as well be on it, right?. Hey New York housewives and other ladies! They want you! Just as they did with the original Orange County version of this Bravo series, the producers are adding more characters to the upcoming season. They would like to talk to you if you are "a high rolling social butterfly juggling the ups and downs of family life along with a high-powered career and a social calendar to die for?" You're rolling and being a butterfly and juggling all at the same time!! You must be ambidextrous or have several arms. Are you the goddess Shiva Kali?? LuAnn would not like that. I think goddess trumps countess. The exciting casting call lies after the jump, including the number to something ominously called the "Real Housewives Hotline." I'd really love it if one or more of you ended up on the show.

[That's socialite and occasional Page 6 contributor Lydia Hearst (great-granddaughter of the villainous William Randolph) with Ed Westwick, in a scene from an upcoming episode of "Gossip Girl." She'll apparently play some sort of bitch. Image from LA Times]

The last time we were allowed a brief glimpse into the mysterious lives of Tom Cruise's "other" kids, the news wasn't pretty. Harvey Levin and his TMZ minions were pointing out their awkward adolescence and homelessness, even going as far as to making a crack about their "frizzy" hair. But following in his defiant father's footsteps, 13-year old Connor Cruise is fighting back against all those media meanies by reportedly scoring a plum role in the upcoming Will Smith vehicle, Seven Pounds. And as happy as we are that Connor finally realized playing soccer while surrounded by paparazzi wasn't likely to turn into a full-time career, we're somewhat suspicious of Tom's claims that Connor scored the part of potential Scientologist/Cruise buddy Smith "all on his own"...

This pairing of actor and sugar-coated-horror material isn't yet on any studio production slate (it's rather the brainchild of a rogue Photoshopper answering Cracked.com's call for ill-conceived movie monsters), but that doesn't mean the idea is entirely without its merits. For once every comic book superhero has been plundered and replundered, producers of overbaked summer blockbusters will be forced to draw from other beloved, hand-drawn characters of our youth. And hey, once we're fantasizing about Oscar-winning talent like Bardem in the lead, there's no reason why we couldn't shoot for the moon in rounding out the rest of the cast of The Brown Knight: Count Chocula Begins: Philip Seymour Hoffman as Franken Berry, and Jake Gyllenhaal in the role of their dreamy-eyed sidekick, Boo Berry.

The new 90210 has its first cast member, and (yipee!), he's got a blog. Here's what we know so far about 22-year-old Dustin Milligan, who previously played the CW series lottery with a starring role in Runaway:

Despite reports that How I Met Your Mother has already ridden the Britney ratings train to fourth season security, the show can't ... stop ... stunting! In a season that's already given us the varied guesting talents of Enrique Iglesias, Mandy Moore, Heidi Klum, Vanessa Minnillo, Sarah Chalke and, of course, Miss Spears herself, E! is reporting that James Van Der Beek is now paddling himself out of the increasingly swampy confines of Obscurity Creek and into the Land Of Laugh Tracks.

A frustrated, out-of-work actor has taken to Craigslist in search of "alternative methods" to prepare for an upcoming audition: "One of my friends suggested I get into white magic, but I think I should find a expert or someone who knows what they are doing...if you could write me with whatever idea/spell you have to help me that would be great, because like I said I have never done this before." It's actually not the craziest idea we've ever heard, but we'd caution that this sort of thing isn't for the casual dark arts dabbler; properly casting a casting spell is a science, if anything, requiring just the right measurements of eye of lapdog, hair of Andy Dick, and breath of 1st AD. [Craigslist]

Michelle Trachtenberg has proven herself the ideal go-to actress for naughty TV guest appearance: When she portrayed Sarah Michelle Gellar's "normal" little sister on Buffy, she had a penchant for kleptomania, on Law & Order: CI, she masterfully outwitted the cops and the media by staging an online kidnapping, and she perfected the demanding pop star character of Celeste on Six Feet Under. So it's no surprise that the actress's upcoming guest appearance on Gossip Girl will feature her wreaking havoc on fellow rehabber Serena. We're not sure possessing the natural ability to portray bitchy sidekicks is a blessing or a curse, but in Michelle's case, we always find her small-screen bad-girl characters are ones worth rooting for. [THR]

Ramping up the Oscar-season stakes following the exploitation of Abigail Breslin's dimples in 2006 and Diablo Cody's clothes-allergic antics in 2007, Fox Searchlight appears to have gone the way of using low-cost (read: free) young acting hopefuls in its early push on behalf of the Biggie Smalls biopic Notorious. Today's New York Times suggests that Brooklyn rapper and brave ass-shooting survivor Jamal Woolard was essentially already cast as the slain hip-hop star when Searchlight welcomed more than 100 would-be Biggies to its time-wasting, dream-devouring publicity stunt open casting call last fall:

We guide you now to Gawker for complete coverage of the shocking—simply shocking!—sex scandal in which New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer currently finds himself embroiled, as all we at Defamer are interested in is who should play Eliot and wife Silda in the inevitable CBS Movie of the Week:

We never could have anticipated the groundswell of interest that would follow our noting of crank-calling recidivist Thelma Dennis, whose addiction to dialing 999 has thrown all of Britain under a state of fake-bomb-threat siege. While we took your many casting and title suggestions for the inevitable MOW into serious consideration, one in particular, courtesy of commenter Gwendolyn, was particularly inspired, sending us directly to the Defamer Side-By-Side-O-Tron 2000 to whip up the above illustration. Ladies and gentlemen: Brian Posehn IS Thelma Dennis. We thank everyone else for coming out to the audition. [brianposehn.com]

Great news for aspiring actors residing in the greater Pittsburgh area who just so happen to also be inbred: A casting notice for Julianne Moore thriller Shelter seeks background players to play the famed deformed mountain folk of West Virginia. Or, as they put it, "Extraordinarily tall or short. Unusual body shapes, even physical abnormalities as long as there is normal mobility. Unusual facial features, especially eyes... 9-12-year-old Caucasian girl with an other-worldly look to her...Could be an albino or something along those lines — she's someone who is visually different and therefore has a closer contact to the gods and to magic. 'Regular-looking' children should not attend this open call.'" [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]

· Good news, advertisers, entertainment journalists, and fans of overblown montages of new shows that will likely be canceled before December: The upfronts are back on! The networks may continue them in some modified form, but it seems as if they're planning on maintaining the most crucial part of the tradition: free booze. [Variety]
· This year's five Best Picture nominees have earned just $295 million at the box office (and Juno is responsible for about $120 mil of that), putting the group on pace to be the second-lowest grossing crop of Academy honorees in two decades. You should all be ashamed of yourselves, especially if you haven't seen No Country or There Will Be Blood yet. [THR]
· Ellen Page and Cillian Murphy will star in Peacock, in which Murphy will play a small town guy with a multiple personality disorder that leads him to live life as both a man and his wife, and Page the "struggling young mother" who touches off a domestic dispute between the two sides of his fractured psyche. Disclosure: a friend of ours co-wrote this script, and it's fucking brilliant. We're not even going to be objective about this on our last day. [Variety]

· Paramount breaks the hearts of the millions of Trekkies who thought they'd be spending Christmas at the multiplex with Kirk, Spock and Uhura, delaying their J.J. Abrams directed Star Trek from this December 25 until May 8, 2009 in hopes that they can wring more money from the franchise during the summer blockbuster season. Also, DreamWorks is moving Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder from this July 11 to August 15, a change that Stiller's fans will endure without complaint. [Variety]
· We knew that Tom Cruise parody video was going to put some sizzle back into his career: Jerry O'Connell joins the cast of indie romantic comedy Baby on Board, which will also includes Heather Graham, John Corbett and Ian Ziering. [THR]

· 24 co-creator/primetime-torture advocate Joel Surnow is leaving the series to follow his muse, having previously ceded day-to-day control of the show to fellow executive producer Howard Gordon. Surnow explains his decision to officially pass on Jack Bauer's interrogation-speeding belt-sander to his colleagues: "I've done seven years, almost eight years at the same place with the same great group of people. During the strike I started thinking about different things I'd like to do independently, and decided it was time to see if there were other opportunities I wanted to pursue." [Variety]
· Hoping to pressure SAG leaders into opening negotiations with the studios long before the June 30th expiration of their contract, "several top stars" may launch a public campaign in hopes of preempting a second industry-crippling work stoppage, possibly in the form of a series of "Don't Be Fucking Crazy. No One Wants Another Strike For At Least Three Years" ads in the trades featuring actors like George Clooney, Ben Affleck and Teri Hatcher hugging moguls such as Peter Chernin and Les Moonves. [Variety]

· In what could be a dream match of creative team and quirky literary material, Joel and Ethan Coen will adapt Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policemen's Union for Columbia, a "noir-style murder mystery in which a rogue cop investigates the killing of a heroin-addicted chess prodigy who might be the messiah" set in a Jewish settlement in Alaska. (Are we allowed to get pre-excited about this one?) [Variety]
· Though Ugly Betty was among the nine series ABC picked up for next season on Monday, the network ruined executive producers Marco Pennette and James Hayman's back-to-work party by dropping them from the show. [THR]

· Possibly sandwiched between the theoretically imminent end of the writers strike and a potential June 30 walkout by SAG, studios are rushing to get their high-profile projects into production during that slim window of opportunity, hoping to get enough movies in the can to fill out their late 2009 release schedules. Still on the studios' limbo lists due to deadline-rushed scripts: Angels & Demons, Thomas Crown Affair 2, Fame, The Grind and Death Wish. [Variety]
· After 17 wildly successful years helping to narcotize the youth of America with TRL, The Grind and 72-hour Real World/Road Rules Challenge marathons, MTV president Christina Norman unexpectedly steps down from her post, possibly to join forces with Oprah on the new OWN cable network that will eventually make everyone involved incredibly wealthy. [THR]

· Anxious that the Oscars are approaching and he still has no real idea of whether or the WGA—obviously a little preoccupied with their own issues—intends to grant a waiver for their awards ceremony, Academy president Sid Ganis begs the Guild for answers so that complicated logistical issues can be resolved. "We're running out time! [desperate punctuation ours]," wails Ganis, pleading for the sweet release of either a simple "yes" or "no." [Variety]
· Following his reported Monday dismissal from CAA for allegedly getting caught with his hand too far into Oprah's network cookie jar, reality TV agent Michael Camacho lands at UTA after "competitive and aggressive courting" by other agencies who believe that the controversy just proves he's an impish go-getter who might have gotten a little carried away during that recent Death Star misadventure. [THR]

In an unexpected development sure to rock the sentient-sportscar-voiceover world, Variety reports NBC has announced that it's had to make an 11th hour substitution in its casting of KITT for the network's soon-to-debut Knight Rider movie, rushing last-minute savior Val Kilmer (Val Kilmer!) into the studio to redo all of the dialogue already recorded by outgoing Mustang-inhabitor Will Arnett.