Police believe that an accident on Thursday at the North Carolina State Fair where five people were ejected from a Vortex ride was no accident at all — the carnival operator has been arrested and charged with tampering the ride to harm people.

The cursed year for cruise ships continues: early Thursday morning, authorities aboard the Carnival Spirit in Australia realized two passengers had fallen overboard. Over one day later, neither has been found.

Avast! Hell cruise Triumph, the Carnival cruise ship that slowly transformed into a shit-encrusted Gulf of Mexico prison two months ago when an engine fire knocked out its electricity and plumbing, has broken loose from the Mobile, Ala. dock where it was imprisoned—searching, no doubt, for new citizens for the shanty towns built on its decks:

Despite overflowing toilets and "human waste all over the floor," passengers are being forbidden from leaving a Carnival cruise ship docked in port at St. Maarten—just a month after another Carnival cruise ship was disabled and left to float for days in the Gulf of Mexico as passengers filled it with excrement and built makeshift shanty towns on deck.

"Sex on the Beach" was an entirely different kind of cocktail for a pair of young Brazilian lovers and the large crowd of onlookers who witnessed their unabashed water sports on Carnival Saturday.

CNN certainly was the only one covering the plight of the Carnival cruise ship Triumph by land, air, and sea yesterday, but to what avail? Well thanks to CNN a mother was able to see her daughter whom she had not seen for several days (and wouldn't have anyway because said daughter was ON A CRUISE), another mother was able to speak to her indifferent son via cell phone, and several other humans were able to watch a floating toilet inch its way closer to Mobile, Alabama.

The passengers of the good ship Triumph, the Carnival cruise liner disabled by a fire and left floating, stinking of shit, for days, finally disembarked last night, only to be confronted with the essential indifference of the universe to human concern:

The Carnival cruise line disabled by a fire and left floating for days, stinking of shit and piss, has reached a new level of horror as the towline taking it to Alabama—where its passengers would, finally, be able to disembark and go home—broke, leaving them floating once more in the Gulf of Mexico, 30 miles from shore. It's been fixed, and the ship is moving again—but as these images show, it's still not pretty.

Snaps to you, drag queens. Looks like you will be allowed to dress in drag on your drag queen-themed cruise vacation after all.

Police in Rio de Janeiro arrested 214 people last weekend for pissing in the streets during Carnival as part of the city's "Zero Tolerance for Pissing" campaign. There's no ambiguity in that name.

[A dancer performs during Jember fashion carnival in Jember, Indonesia. The theme to this year's carnival—an event held to showcase local designers—was "buried treasure." Pic via AP.]

• The new edition of the Michelin Guide is out and five spots earn a coveted three stars: Per Se, Masa, Le Bernardin, Jean Georges, and Daniel. [GS]
• Café Boulud reopens this Wednesday following a month-long refresh. [TONY]
• A roundup of restaurants opening in the next week or so. [TONY]
• Carnival, the amusement park/nightclub owned by (and located above) Bowlmor Lanes, soft opened this weekend. The grand opening this coming weekend will be hosted by none other than Paris Hilton. [NYP]
• A look back at Gourmet, which is shutting down after 68 years. [Gawker]
• Another sign o' the times: McDonald's is opening inside the Louvre. [NYDN]