Carla Bruni has befriended a homeless man who lives near her Paris home. She gives him cash and even offered to put him up in a hotel for a month. Denis, 53, declined. He's not that kind of guy. [BBC]

• Sarah Palin's memoir is officially No. 1 on the US bestseller list, alas. [NYT]
• A Swiss court has granted bail to director Roman Polanski. [Times UK]
• Oprah will sit down with the president as part of a Christmas special. [THR]
• All that drama at the AMAs is boosting sales of Glambert's new album. [LAT]
• Related: Is there a double-standard when it comes to gay performers on network television? CBS's Early Show asks the question, then answers it. [HP]
• Fox is looking forward to the return of Idol and 24 in a few weeks. [NYT]
• New Moon has a lock on the long weekend box office, not surprisingly. [LAT]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy on her decision to appear in Woody Allen's next film: "Maybe I will be terrible. But, in my life, I cannot let such a chance go." [BN]

He loves her so much he cast her in his next movie. Rosie O'Donnel's weird date, Courtney Love in a strip club, and Zac Efron thinks stars are famous. This is the 11:26 Gossip train to New Haven. All aboard!

• France's first lady, Carla Bruni, will star in Woody Allen's next movie. [AFP]
• Time Inc. is shutting down InStyle Weddings and laying off nine people in the process. The company also let 15 staffers go at Fortune today. [Gawker, NYP]
• Adam Lambert's racy performance at the AMAs has stirred up some drama, in case you haven't heard; ABC says it's been flooded with complaints. [NYT]
• In related news, Lambert will not be appearing on GMA due to the fallout, but he will be on the Early Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. [HL]
• The Washington Post is closing its NYC, LA, Chicago bureaus. [WaPo]
• Time Inc., Condé Nast and Hearst are setting up a company to "allow them to take the digital future into their own hands." Better late than never! [NYO]
• Sarah Palin's Going Rogue sold 700,000 copies in its first week, sadly. [AP]

Julianne Moore crossing a street in the meatpacking district ... Amanda Seyfried kissing boyfriend Dominic Cooper during lunch at Bar Pitti ... Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy leaving a restaurant on Madison Avenue ... Whitney Port getting out of an SUV before an appearance on Regis & Kelly ... Hugh Jackman picking his daughter up from school ... Kirsten Dunst entering a courthouse downtown ... Ellen Barkin walking in the meatpacking district ... Queen Rania leaving the Sheraton Hotel ... Sara Paxton filming scenes for The Beautiful Life ... Deborah Lee Furness riding a scooter ... Shia LaBeouf walking downtown ... and Jessica Alba leaving a Clinton Global Initiative event at Cipriani 42nd Street.

• Michael Jackson was laid to rest yesterday evening, exactly ten weeks after his death. Gladys Knight performed; Al Sharpton delivered a sermon; Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis put in appearances; and the Jackson siblings color-coordinated their outfits, per usual. [NYDN, People]
• Nike has wisely decided to put on hold the line of sneakers it had been planning to introduce in partnership with DJ AM. [TMZ]
• Pervy photographer Terry Richardson is settling down. He's reportedly getting ready to tie the knot with scenester Jen Brill. [TrendLand]
• Is French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy planning to appear in Woody Allen's next movie? "Nothing is signed yet," says her publicist. [WWD]

We may have a new hero: Miyuki Hatoyama. While boring first ladies like Michelle and Carla like to remain prim and proper, Miyuki enjoys breaking boundaries, like confessing she was kidnapped by aliens.

Anne Hathaway walking in the East Village with boyfriend Adam Shulman, and later shopping in SoHo with a friend (left) ... Matt Damon leaving dinner at Da Silvano ... Jennifer Lopez shooting scenes for her new movie ... Robert Pattinson walking downtown ... comedian Robert Klein walking with his girlfriend on the Upper East Side ... Pierce Brosnan hanging out on the set of Remember Me ... Jon Gosselin standing outside Accademia di Vino on Third Avenue with Star reporter Kate Major ... Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni arriving at the Carlyle... and David Beckham leaving his hotel.

The infamous Vogue editrix loses her party planner, House as a tranny-nun, Governator Ahnold's real-life action sequence, a sad Hollywood divorce, midgets, gays, nerdy Jews, scary Americans, more Gossip Girl action, and Gary Busey. Presenting your Saturday morning Gossip Roundup:

• The owner of M2, the club formerly known as Crobar and Mansion, says he may sue Beyoncé now that she appears to be backing out of a deal to perform at the club for $200K. [P6]
• It's been nearly 10 months since Jeremy Piven put a deadly piece of fish in his mouth and the sudden onset of mercury poisoning forced him to drop out of a Broadway show and seek medical treatment. He's feeling much, much better now, he'd like you to know. And he's still sticking to that fishy story about fish, evidently. [People]
• During a recent concert in Manchester recently, Britney Spears shouted out, "What's up, London," a line that did not go over well with the crowd. [Sun]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a relationship advice book. The secret to landing sweet, charming men like Carson Daly and John Mayer: coming soon to bookstores everywhere! [People]

Man, Europe. We elected this classy guy after you made fun of us for years about that "cowboy" (btw: here in America, only morons thought he was a "cowboy"), and now your leaders are all running around with naked ladies.

• The new H&M at 86th Street and Lexington opens at noon tomorrow. [AFB, Racked]
• Scarlett Johansson is replacing Penélope Cruz as the face of Mango. [WWD, SF]
• For the first time, the CFDA is tacking on a "Popular Vote Award" to this year's show. As the name implies, it will allow the public to weigh in, shockingly. [WWD]
• What's Kate Moss's novel going to be about? "A young model's life as she goes from a nobody to an A-list star." Sounds familiar, no? [NYDN]
• Marc Jacobs hosted a 30th birthday party for fiancé Lorenzo Martone last night at the not-yet-open Avenue. Julia Restoin Roitfeld and Genevieve Jones (above) were among the 150 people on hand for the occasion. [W]

• CBS has released more footage from Morley Safer's interview with Anna Wintour from this Sunday's 60 Minutes. In this installment, Anna explains why she insists on wearing sunglasses indoors. (The answer: It's her "armor.") [CBS]
• Matthew Williamson's second collection for H&M arrived in stores today. [Racked]
• LVMH may be buying a stake in the green fashion line backed by Bono. [WSJ]
• A retrospective on fashion photographer Richard Avedon opens tomorrow at the International Center of Photography. Cathy Horyn looks back. [NYT]

• Olivia Palermo's imaginary career is on fire. The City star is reportedly leaving her "job" at DVF to "work" in the publicity department at Elle. So if you see anything in Elle that seems to have been ripped from another magazine, now you know who to blame. [P6]
• Jay-Z demanded a Maybach, champagne, "good quality" peanut butter and jelly, 12 shot glasses, and a pack of Marlboros—along with $750,000—before agreeing to perform at the University of Arizona last month. [SG, P6]
• Jesus Luz's dad says his son and Madonna "definitely" plan to tie the knot in a Kabbalah ceremony shortly. But Jesus won't have to bother signing a prenup since the marriage won't be legally binding. [NYDN]
• The good news for Amy Winehouse: She's reportedly no longer addicted to drugs. The bad: She's supposedly traded the drugs for booze. [OK!]
• Man of the people: Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was spotted flying coach on a flight from New York to DC. [P6]

If Michelle Obama could be forgiven for feeling a little competitive toward France's first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, especially when it comes to matters of fashion and all-round feminine allure, we think it's safe to say that this morning, Michelle will be feeling glad that her vanity, as far as we know, stops short of making sex tapes. Yes, a burglar has stolen a cache of "highly intimate" videos and photographs featuring Carla with her ex-boyfriend/baby daddy Raphaël Enthoven (who, for those who like to keep track of European affairs, she stole from his then-wife, novelist Justine Levy, whose father, philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy, is reportedly winning the heart of wealthy fashion plate Daphne Guinness away from Andre Balazs). Police in Paris are hoping to catch the thief before any images hit the web; the web, obviously, hopes the opposite.

• Jesus Luz isn't making many friends with his fellow male models. At an event last week, the other models in the room were "gossiping like catty girls" about his "big, swollen head," and bitching that he's only booking work because of his relationship with Madonna. Really, you think? [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan flew to Maui with her sister and mom, where she's been spotted tanning and shopping at Gucci and Louis Vuitton. So everything is pretty much back to normal. [NYDN, Us]
• Samantha Ronson changed her Facebook relationship status to "Married," whatever that's worth. [Sun]
• Good news for the handful of remaining Sex and the City fans out there: Sarah Jessica Parker says Chris Noth has finally signed on to do the sequel. [E!]

Disappointingly for observers of the goings-on at the G-20 Summit, Carla Bruni Sarkozy wasn't present, so while the media feigned enthusiasm at the task of judging Michelle Obama's outfits alongside the other First Ladies', it really wasn't much of a competition. Thank goodness, then, that the Obamas are now in France with the Sarkozys, and are faced, as one serious-minded journalist sees it, with a challenge of equal weight: Our president will use the NATO Summit to lobby for more help for allied troops in Afghanistan, and his wife will try with all her might to usurp Carla as the most glamorous First Lady on the planet.

Oh hey did you hear that the Obamas went to England? They met the queen! And crappy presents notwithstanding, it was such a god damn regal moment that the world media, en masse, orgasmed.

So President Obama and all the European leaders are getting together to solve global terrorism, reverse the economic disaster, and "foster world unity." Not that we don't have the utmost faith that a bunch of men in suits can perform those miracles, but it's a relief to see that the international media has its priorities straight and is focusing on the real issues. Namely: How will the various First Ladies compare in the fashion stakes, is Michelle going to bare her famous arms, and how does one behave in front of the Queen of England?

• What's Ashley Dupre been up to recently? She's been doing lots of yoga, which she credits with saving her life. And it also introduced her to Russell Simmons, who is now her "mentor" and is making her feel more "liberated." Is that the term they use these days? [P6]
• LiLo and Sam Ronson got in another fight outside a club. This one was caught on tape, however. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel may be engaged. [NYDN]
• Breaking! George Clooney got drunk at a bar St. Louis last weekend. [NYDN]