A tipster sent us this help-wanted ad from "a quantitative hedge fund with offices in Palo Alto." The ad asks applicants to flip a coin 50 times and record the sequence of heads and tails. Are they breeding for luck, or just looking for someone who'll slog through hours of statistical dullness without first asking why?
Unless that's what you want. Katherine Heigl may have finally done it. Someone on the inside at her popular show Grey's Anatomy is whispering that Heigl's character, Izzie, will get a brain tumor and possibly die in the upcoming season. "It's their way of screwing with her," the insider says. "She won't know whether she's going to live or die." Hah! ABC has only confirmed that her former costar Jeffrey Dean Morgan-who played a patient that she loved but sorta killed (right?)-will be back in the saddle for some episodes. The inside source says that he'll be appearing in Izzie's tumor-induced dreams/hallucinations. So yeah, she may have finally pissed off the showrunners enough to get once-and-for-all written off the show, which she seems, foolishly, to be gunning for. I mean what other reason could she possibly have to publicly trash the writers (saying that their writing for her character made her unworthy of Emmy consideration)? You know, other than rampant unchecked ego. Now, I'm sure that if the character passes on, the decision will be chalked up to gentle creative differences. But we'll know the truth: it was revenge.
Pointing out that in the last quarter Google walked away from a multibillion-dollar hotel project, closed two offices, and laid off 300 DoubleClick employees, Wired's Betsy Schiffman wonders if Google isn't cutting costs as result of a downturn in advertising revenue. Of course, the downturn has so far been limited to online brand advertising, not Google's lucrative paid search business. Schiffman also linked to our post on a tipster who tried to convince us Google is in a hiring freeze, though we thought he was possibly just a bitter non-hire. One Google employee does tell us, however, that there's been a "noticeable" slowdown in new hires setting up cubicles in Mountain View. Then there's the usual doomsayers, such as commenter Isawthat who reports the "Bay Area is jacked!"
Designers, want to torture yourself in a contract position surrounded by smarmy, know-it-all PhDs who give you only the vaguest of instructions and expect you to master the intricacies of biotechnology overnight? Lured by the promise that you might one day get hired on full-time and get stock options at a company backed by Google and run by Google cofounder Sergey Brin's wife? Unbothered by the fact that the California Department of Public Health has just banned the company's service? Then, dear visual-thinking friends, this position for a graphic designer at 23andMe is for you! The job description:
The last matchup in this round of our worst-job tournament: temporary database administrator for Google, contracted through WorkforceLogic, vs. content acquisition intern, IODA. Given the compensation disparity between these jobs — IODA doesn't pay its interns, while WorkforceLogic reportedly pay database admins as much as $70,000 — it seems like a no-brainer. Remember, though, just because WorkforceLogic will deploy you to the Googleplex, that doesn't mean you'll ever be a real Googler. Not to the Stanford and Harvard grads munching on their Bacon Krispy Kreme burgers. At least at IODA, you'll deserve the scorn heaped on you by the paid wage slaves. Pick the worse fate, below.
He won't sell, but can Mark Zuckerberg successfully carry Facebook through to an IPO? That's what the latest matchup in our tournament to find tech's worst entry-level job comes down to. Otherwise, the key responsibilities for Facebook's user operations analysts and MySpace customer support specialists are very similar. Even the pay is roughly the same. A tipster tells us Facebook pays its customer service reps $34,500 per year — though that number might be higher now that Facebook stopped handing $600/mo. housing subsidies. Readers figure MySpace pays $37,000. So what's it going to be? The slightly lower-paying job at the risky startup with higher upside or a gig at News Corp.'s shiniest Web toy? Vote in our poll below.
The class of 2008 has already begun to realize the tragedy of actually having to work for a living. Cheer up, kiddos; it could be worse. You could be employed, part-time, cutting and pasting Google search results for Jason Calacanis's Mahalo. Or you could serve as Mashable CEO Pete Cashmore's personal assistant — the entry-level gigs facing off in our third matchup to determine the worst job in tech. Vote below.
Its time for the second match in our single-elimination tournament to find the worst entry-level job in tech. In our first poll, the drudgery of working as a Google online sales and operations manager narrowly edged out the perils of being an Amazon.com support engineer, 53 percent to 47 percent. Today's contest: Getting paid by Microsoft to take angry calls from Vista users all day, vs. fetching coffee in Yahoo's finance operations. Making the contest even harder: If Carl Icahn has his way, both might soon find their paychecks signed by Microsoft CFO Chris Liddell. Vote below.
We picked the ten worst entry-level jobs in tech. Now, in a single-elimination tournament, we're going to let you choose which gig is truly the worst. Round one begins with Amazon.com support engineers versus Google online sales and operations account managers. We'll let your fellow readers advise you before you choose:
To come up with the estimated pay for tech's 10 worst entry-level jobs we spoke to former and current employees, HR reps and friends of friends working these jobs. But still, some of our commenters expressed disbelief over the salary estimates. "80 grand for an entry level job? Time to apply and kick those whiney losers out! Let's see how they feel about their new job bagging groceries at the Safeway," wrote mwbeeler. Loakim said:
Soon America's most bright-eyed graduates will enter the workforce and make their workaday homes in cubes at Google, MySpace, or Amazon.com. And they will suffer not just the indignity of having to work for a living, but also the dispiriting realization that a job at a cool company isn't always that hot. These employers, and the others hiring for tech's 10 worst entry-level jobs, listed below, will look spiffy on a resume someday, but for now the only good these jobs promise the world is the pleasant feeling you and I can share knowing we're not the ones stuck in them.
Three-quarters of information technology professionals would recommend the career to their children, according to a study from The IT Job Board. However, had they asked the children of said sample group what they wanted to be when they grew up, I'm guessing "IT professional" is still well behind "firefighter" and "astronaut." "You have this idea of how your child should be and what they should like, and then they shatter your dreams when they start playing sports and getting girlfriends," writes Slashdot commenter peipas. (Photo by Jason Cumberland)
Looking for a job with a company that regularly throws money down the startup drain? Don't care if all you receive in return is college credit? This internship listing on Craigslist is right up your alley!
After more than a decade of trans-Atlantic antitrust scrutiny, one would think Microsoft would be, oh, I don't know, subtle about its ambitions to destroy a competitor. Someone in Microsoft's European HR offices didn't get the message. A poster advertising jobs at Microsoft Europe lists, among other qualities it's looking for in candidates, the ability to be a "Google killer."
Yahoos needn't worry about layoffs after a merger with Microsoft. Yes, they're likely. But there's a world of opportunity beyond 701 First Avenue. Just ask Ben Padnos, featured in this clip from his new site. Once one of Yahoo's top salespeople worldwide, Padnos now runs his own company — CashFlowFromCreditCards.com. As seen on TV, it's "a proven business opportunity that instantly puts you into business with some of the LARGEST Financial Service firms IN THE WORLD."
