Herman Cain released an inexplicable campaign ad on Monday featuring his chief of staff smoking a cigarette. But unlike everyone else, Stephen Colbert didn't spend much time on tonight's Report trying to analyze the ad, opting instead to parody it with the three even more extreme versions.

What a great comedy ad that Herman Cain's campaign released yesterday, right? It's heartwarming to see one of these old, grizzled campaign hands, in this case chief of staff Mark Block, finally getting in front of the camera in his own element: Smoking a cigarette outside some building. Then there's terrible music, Herman Cain gradually smiling over the course of 10 seconds, the works. It's strange and exciting, effectiveness aside! And yet the image of this man smoking left many political writers somewhere between confused and horrified. What does the cigarette "mean"? It's today's hot topic.

We can blame this one on Silicon Valley, folks. The outfit San Franciscans for Jobs and Good Government, an independent group led by Silicon Valley "angel investor" Ron Conway and propped up with Sean Parker's cash, has released this take on MC Hammer's "2 Legit 2 Quit" to support the campaign of San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee.

You want to read about Rick Perry's fun new flat tax plan? Well let's see then... ah, this should do: "The five biggest questions about Rick Perry's tax plan." Now let's move on to the more topical Perry business of the day: This funny old campaign ad of his from the mid-1990s, where he's running around some sausage factory.

Here's a brand new Herman Cain campaign ad, starring chief of staff Mark Block, that was just posted, unlisted, to his official YouTube channel. As far as we can tell, Block is drunk, and outside an Olive Garden? And the cameraman is some guy with an iPhone, also drunk, whom Block met at the bar? But, really, the horrible panning and cheap tilt-shift filter are nothing compared to what happens at the 40-second mark. Just trust us on this one, okay? We told you the guy was stupid! [via @pourmecoffee]

Rick Perry's high production value filmmaker (whom Perry stole from loser Tim Pawlenty) has released his latest, scariest opus, just in time for Satan's birthday, Halloween.

A lot is changing on the gay rights landscape. The military - once a home for staunch homophobia - is now one of the more welcoming employers for openly gay people. Where the last Democratic president sat down and signed the Defense Of Marriage Act into law, the current Democratic president is on a mission to tear it down.

Here's a congresswoman who was, and maybe still is, running for president, named... let's see... it's not Buddy Roemer... maybe it's Buddy Roemer?... Bachmann. Michele Bachmann. Here's "Michele Bachmann" telling the country to not to "settle," on anything, ever. "Don't settle in your spiritual life. Don't settle in your personal life. Don't settle with your career goals." Sure, sounds good! No settling. (This presumably does not apply to Israeli settlers.)

Mitt Romney is still pretending to be an immigration hawk for the purposes of destroying Rick Perry, who as Texas governor signed a law offering in-state tuition to children of illegal immigrants.

Remember that series of terrifying, high production value action movie trailers that Tim "Two Percent" Pawlenty released, to try to make himself look cool? Yeah they didn't work. But Rick Perry must have liked them, because now the same filmmaker, 23-year-old Lucas Baiano, has produced a similar action movie trailer for his campaign! They're "similar" in that they're almost exactly the same. Lights, rain, flags, numbers, gravity, neon, flickering, swingsets, electricity, bombast, triumph, shaky. It's almost a bit much!

Michele Bachmann pushed her criticism of Rick Perry's executive order mandating HPV vaccinations of young girls to the furthest frontiers of predictability today, by labeling it "Perrycare." There is just nothing worse in a Republican primary than having the word "care" applied to your last name. That's not a joke! It should be, though. Shouldn't it? Maybe one of these days.

"Ignored" fourth-place presidential candidate Ron Paul seems to be feeling frisky nowadays, just frisky enough to make an attack ad! How conventional. Is he selling out? No, he's just mocking Rick Perry like everybody else. But there's a certain angle to this ad that doesn't make much sense: That Ron Paul really liked Ronald Reagan's presidency.

Here's Texas congressional candidate Roger Williams, Republican, giving a good tongue-lashing to some welfare queen donkeys. Take some personal responsibility for once, you damnable beasts! "These donkeys don't live in the United States of France, they live in the United States of America," he tell us, before turning to the donkeys and saying, "Have you ever heard of the Constitution?" And yet this hypocrite is probably all-compliments when the elephants drop by.

Rick Perry cannot be real. He is the ultra right wing conservative id, impervious to the restraints of physical particles, which are liberal. Watch this first web video of his since he joined the presidential race over the weekend. He is not a human.

Stephen Colbert's "Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow" Super PAC has released its first television ad in Iowa ahead of this weekend's Ames Straw Poll. Colbert has decided to endorse the non-attending Texas Gov. Rick Perry as a write-in, but spelled "Rick Parry." What else... the ad has some jokes and stuff in it? We don't know, just watch it and think whatever you think.

Bookmark this post! Because the above web ad shows the first and probably last time that presidential candidate Rick Santorum will take a stab at the Devil's favorite instrument of terror, "humor."

Texas Gov. Rick Perry looks to have a fine chance of winning the Republican presidential nomination if he runs, which he probably will, no? Just look at this "teaser" SuperPAC ad that his rich Texas supporters are running for him in Iowa. It is happy happy happy. Balanced budgets! Millions of jobs! Corn, being husked! Rick Perry will do all of these things for America, when he rules it as his fiefdom.

It's fun to watch Tim "Two Percent" Pawlenty hatch a new lame scheme each week to try to get anyone interested in his tries-too-hard presidential campaign.

Tim Pawlenty, the presidential candidate who tries too hard and ends up making people care even less, has heard in the news that some of his conservative brethren would fancy a government shutdown or two. I can do that! Tim Pawlenty announces in his latest Iowa ad. You want shutdowns? When he was governor of Minnesota, he shut down the government — twice! So vote for Tim Pawlenty, the Government Shutdown Candidate. His federal government will barely even be open, that's how shutdowny he'll make it.

The Mitt Romney campaign released a web video this morning about young Ryan King, a recent college graduate from destitute Midland, Michigan, who drives around the local trash and destruction all day, just lookin' for a job. He has $3 and only eats bologna sandwiches. Why won't President Obama let him get a job? He is a failed leader.