[Cameron Diaz and Lil' Tommy attend the "True Lies" "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" "Killers" "Knight and Day" premiere in Spain; image via Splash]

Facing arrest, LiLo frantically emails her richest friends, then posts bail. Did Nicole Kidman get a boob job? Kevin Jonas and his wife sleep in separate beds. Jenna Bush keeps getting embarrassed by her dad. TGIFriday gossip.

Courtney screams at her assistant and threw designer garments everywhere. Lindsay Lohan gets bounced at a party in Williamsburg. Matt Lauer isn't having an affair with Whitney Houston's stepsister. Kristin Cavallari shows her panties and catfights. TGIFriday gossip.

She knew they were related when he called himself P@t the R@t. Sienna and Jude are officially back together. Sandra's baby sells more magazines than Angelina's. Tuesday gossip is symbolic.

Which celeb has Cammie been sneaking around with? Why is Charlie Sheen wearing a disguise to have an affair? Is Madonna really sending the kids to public school? How much did Eliot Spitzer spend on hookers? Wednesday's gossip is puzzled.

They're "laughing and flirting" now—when will they start canoodling? Suri Cruise hits the bottle to mask depression. Jon Gosselin entertains another TV show. Tiger Woods mistress #15. Catherine Zeta-Jones' bones. Sunday's gossip roundup is highly suspicious.

She just can't forgive Tiger for sleeping with a porn actress. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz reunited. Michael Jackson signs a deal from beyond the grave. Every New Yorker hates Brooke Shields. Tuesday's gossip is not taking it anymore.

"Mother-daughter stripper pole" is a phrase you don't hear often for a reason. Gwyneth Paltrow spends time with another male musician. Howard Stern makes fun of Gabourey Sidibe. Vigilante sorority closes in on Roethlisberger. Wednesday gossip crosses the line.

If you were like me, last night you were watching the show with plenty of questions. Why so long? Why so bad? Who is that weird red-haired lady crashing the stage? Well, we found some answers and even more questions.

Gilligan's Island: The Movie. Justin Timberlake: Romantic comedy star. Hurt Locker producer: Banned from the Oscars. Lorne Michaels: Bullish on Conan O'Brien. Marion Cotillard: Hired by Woody Allen. So much Trade to Round-up, guys. Get in here and let's party!

Matt Damon Will Play Jack's little brother in a biopic. Emily Post's Etiquette to be made into highly proper film. Jason Segal joins the Farrelly Brothers. The Olympics' ratings domination is done. Trade roundup's problems are not software-related.

• Alex Rodriguez's plan to bed every woman in Hollywood continues apace. The Yankee and Cameron Diaz are now hooking up, according to OK!, although now that the news is out, he's probably already moved on to someone new. Which is too bad, really, since RodDiaz has a nice ring to it. [OK!]
• Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, was charged with involuntary manslaughter yesterday. (He pleaded not guilty and faces up to four years behind bars if convicted.) At the arraignment, prosecutors asked that Murray's medical license be revoked, but a judge turned down the request, so if you've been wondering what it's like to get pumped up with propofol, you still have time. [NYP, TMZ]
• It's been a busy week for Angelina Jolie. Yesterday she and Brad Pitt said they plan to sue Britain's News of the World for reporting that they're planning to divorce. And today she's off to Haiti to meet with earthquake victims, since they've been requesting her help—or so she says. [Us, PE]
• She may have spent every episode of Jersey Shore whining about not having a boyfriend, but Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi seems to have landed the man of her dreams: a "typical guido juicehead with a good personality," who also has waxed eyebrows, double-pierced ears, and a penchant for Ed Hardy. [NYDN]
• Despite recent reports that Donald and Melania Trump are having marriage troubles, The Donald says "all is well." Then again he said the same thing when his casinos were going bankrupt and his real estate holdings were imploding, so you may want to take his denial with a grain of salt. [People]

Claire Danes plays the I-will-win-an-award-if-I-play-a-person-with-disabilities card with her new role in the HBO movie Temple Grandin. It looks like another potentially embarrassing stop in a career full of misfires. Still, Danes is worth her weight in street cred. How?

If the amount of money someone sues Sacha Baron Cohen for reflects how pissed off they are about him making them look stupid on camera, then this Palestinian is by far the most pissed off. He's suing for $110 million.

[Cameron Diaz wonders if anyone will notice if she gives Tom Cruise a shove off the top of the Gothic Palace in Seville, Spain, which they toured on Saturday. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Last week, we reported that Hollywood has begun taking steps to wipe out the first outbreak of free-speech showbiz has seen since the Hays Code, eradicating the threat of stars communicating directly to the pubic via Twitter.

Mackenzie Phillips is setting the media ablaze with her revelation that she had sex with her father. Having come this far, just what will celebrity biographies have to confess to get attention a decade from now? Here's a preview!

• Does Lindsay Lohan have a beef with Taylor Momsen? At the G-Star show on Tuesday night, LiLo (with sister Ali in tow) refused to pose for pics and then started casting aside seating cards for celebs like Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Gossip Girl emo teen Taylor Momsen. When event staff intervened, Lindsay got all aggro and dropped an F-bomb, naturally. But give the girl a break. She was apparently just trying to position herself near her crush, True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten. [P6, NYDN]
• At the G-Star after-party at the Bowery Hotel later that night, Mischa Barton was a little unsteady on her feet and was slurring her words. She then hit the DJ booth, where she "danced in her own world" for an hour. [P6]
• While other celebs were at Fashion Week, Chris Brown rocked a neon orange vest over, quite appropriately, a wife-beater, back home in Richmond, Virginia. He started his year-long community service for assaulting Rihanna by picking up trash and cleaning police horse stables. Next up, graffiti removal and washing cars! [Us, NYDN]

Jack Black turns 40 today. Jason Priestley of Beverly Hills 90210 fame is 40. Actor Ben Gazzara is turning 79. Country singers Shania Twain and LeAnn Rimes are 44 and 27, respectively. Olympic figure skater (and Celebrity Apprentice contestant) Scott Hamilton is 51. Actress Jennifer Coolidge is turning 46. Filmmaker Robert Greenwald is 64. And one of the Osmonds (Wayne) is turning 58. Some of the people celebrating birthdays this weekend—including Warren Buffet, Lisa Ling, and John McCain—are below.

• Lindsay Lohan left her cell phone at a deli yesterday. When she returned a few minutes later to retrieve it, an employee refused to give it back to her. LiLo wasn't too pleased to hear that, of course. (Let's hope the Italian ice she's holding made up for it.) But most of the time, she only has herself to blame for her troubles. Yesterday she tweeted that she was at a store in SoHo. But then she got annoyed when a gazillion photographers materialized outside a few minutes later. [Sun, P6]
• Salman Rushdie was spotted making out with a hot, young babe at the Inglourious Basterds party at the Standard Grill the other night. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston supposedly "feels rejected and upset" after Bradley Cooper dropped her and started dating Renee Zellweger. [Us]
• Speaking of Zellweger, she used her appearance on David Letterman's show last night to promote the Blue Parrot, the Mexican restaurant she co-owns with Ron Perelman, Jon Bon Jovi, and Larry Gagosian, among others. [People]