Lindsay Lohan hyperventilates and calls the paparazzi "animals." Someone is selling a sex tape of Usher. Charlie Sheen misses his son's birthday party. Britney Spears reunites with K-Fed at her son's baseball game. Monday gossip sucks and blows.

A young upstart named Gwyneth Paltrow is now embarking on a great adventure, specifically conquering the music industry. Also today: Justin Bieber's tweets grow up so fast, there are naked pictures of Britney Spears that exist somewhere, and Kate Middleton picks a dress designer!

Here's a red-band (meaning: NSFW) trailer for Bad Teacher, a shock-comedy about a Cameron Diaz saying "fuck" a whole fuck of a lot. She's playing a, um, bad teacher who decides she needs a boob job in order to impress Justin Timberlake's character, who she thinks is rich. If he's rich and he marries her, she can quit teaching! But, of course, there's a problem.

Jim Carrey gets a new, model sweetheart. Bill Clinton hangs with Cameron Diaz. What's Oprah's big secret? Justin Bieber's hair costs slightly less than rumored. Saturday Gossip Roundup is hanging out with a big bowl of waffles.

Jake and Taylor rendezvous in Nashville—but was it ex sex or postmortem wallowing? Macaulay Culkin parties with a porn star. Jesse James and Kat Von D are engaged. Bill Clinton is Cameron and A-Rod's third wheel. TGIFriday gossip.

Today at Gawker.TV, Cameron Diaz bought her weed from Snoop Dogg in high school, Aziz Ansari gives Parks & Recreation new credits, Modern Family's "zesty sex," and Olivia Munn beats Kathie Lee and Hoda at their own (drinking) game.

On Lopez Tonight, Cameron Diaz told viewers that she has been "green" for a very long time. Not only does she drive a Prius, but Cammie used to smoke pot in high school.

Kim Kardashian wants to impart some serious life lessons to the young girls of America, because she's qualified to do so. Also today: Tom Brady needs surgery and Halle Berry really likes to yell a lot at her ex-boyfriend.

On Conan, Cameron Diaz came on to talk about her ruckus life growing up on the streets of Long Beach. As she goes on, her story gets more and more offensive. Of all days, Cameron!

How did you celebrate New Year's Eve? Probably not with a supermodel in Mexico. Jenny McCarthy has a new boyfriend. Justin Bieber tries to win Selena Gomez's heart with diamonds. New Year's Day Gossip Roundup is surprisingly not hungover!

Russell Brand is in trouble! Marc Anthony is in debt! Brad Pitt is in the hospital! (Not for anything serious... unless you consider charity serious, which I do.) Friday's gossip is ringing in the new year!

Bieber-Gomez is the new Swift-Gyllenhaal. Katie Holmes celebrates her birthday with a passionless date with Tom Cruise. Charles Barkley laughs at Brett Favre's penis. Monday gossip is for lovers.

Britney and Jamie Lynn give thanks for french fries. "Kim Kardashian is dead," but it's only a publicity stunt. Portia de Rossi walks all over Ricky Martin. Monday gossip is sick of leftover turkey.

Angelina Jolie does not enjoy our colonial holiday. Lindsay Lohan is spending Thanksgiving with a bad influence. Cameron Diaz and A-Rod are back on. Billy Joel is recovering. Wesley Snipes is appealing. Thursday's gossip is making pies with its mother.

Lil Wayne can't drink for three years—but what's in that glass next to him? Miley Cyrus was also caught drinking (sort of) illegally. Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are not getting engaged. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is a wrap.

Richard Kelly's 2009 thriller the Box failed the biggest of ways. It was a commercial and critical flop and continued to make Donnie Darko seem like an aberration. It also failed in the smallest. Check them out.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz stopped by Top Gear, where they talked about their new movie and—of course—vehicles. As usual, any celebrities that visit have to test their skills on the Top Gear test track. Video inside.

Lohan's day of surrender is nigh, and she has no lawyer and is tweeting sad little "eeeks." Oksana Grigorieva walked away from $15 million. Enrique Iglesias photographs his junks. Tuesday gossip is full of foreboding.

The pre-July 4th weekend brought two soaring successes and a few miserable failures, adding more drama to this rollercoaster summer movie season. Let's take a look at the week before America's birthday.

In the new trailer for this January's adaptation of the comic book The Green Hornet, Seth Rogen cracks jokes, plays off a stoic sidekick, and blows stuff up. We have seen this movie so many times before.