Remember when all those birds died in Arkansas and you were pretty sure the world was ending so you wrote that kinda creepy letter to your high school boyfriend? And then the world didn't end, and you were like, crap. Well, looks like the apocalypse is back on! Millions of dead fish just popped up (literally) in Redondo Beach, Calfornia:

Remember those self-driving Priuses Google's been driving around California highways for months? This weekend at TED, a bunch of journalists got to ride in them with video cameras. Above is some harrowing video from the course. Hmm... and this is supposed to convince us they're safe? [Mashable]

Celebrated actor and humble spirit Charlie Sheen already owns a large spread in Beverly Hills, but hey, what's one more mansion? So he's now in escrow on a $7.5 million pad in the same neighborhood. He's purchasing the home from Black Swan producer Mike Medavoy, but I'd imagine the psychological terror that Sheen brings to the place won't be quite as elegant as that of Natalie Portman's ballerina angst. No, it'll likely just be the regular old porn star coke freakouts and elevators full of tiger blood. Photos of Sheen's new home are above.

Oh Banksy, that elusive sprite. The British street artist may have graduated to being nominated for Oscars and scribbling stuff in Simpsons episodes but all anyone really cares about is who he is. (Even though, we know in our hearts that he's probably some average-looking white guy—i.e. BORING.)

You know the difference between the putrid air of the metropolitan area and the searing sting of fresh air out in the country. But which cities are the most toxic? A new study finds out.

Phillip and Nancy Garrido, the California couple accused of kidnapping an 11-year-old girl and imprisoning her in their backyard for 18 years, have both given full confessions, according to Nancy's defense lawyer Stephen Tapson. Not only that, but apparently Jaycee Dugard—their victim—was in the room with Nancy for at least one questioning session, which is, according to the AP, "the first time the women had been face-to-face since the couple was arrested in 2009." The Garridos' lawyers are negotiating possible plea deals for their clients—prosecutors are hoping for 440 years to life for Phillip and and 241 to life for Nancy. [AP]

Forecasts call for snow this weekend in San Francisco. This has transformed the burrito-and-coffee-bloated populace into squealing schoolkids, breathlessly shooting their excitement around the Internet via Facebook-enabled shoes, or whatever's hot in Silicon Valley these days:

The House Republicans' top anti-abortion guy, Rep. Chris Smith of the lovely No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act fame, was reading some graphic details of abortion cases in the chamber last night. This is America's National Bedtime Story routine, now that Republicans are back in power, and it should continue even after they've defunded Planned Parenthood.

A California man died last week after being "sliced" at a cockfight by a rooster with a knife attached to its leg. The stabbing appears to have occurred, like any pre-planned attack, in the commotion following a police raid. Now: I am not a cockfighting expert, but, if you are going to force animals to fight each other, it seems like you should not provide them with weaponry that can be used against you. Roosters are pretty scary even when they don't have knives! [Tulare Advance-Register; image via Shutterstock]

Republican California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman, who lost, spent $178.5 million on her campaign. Her opponent, Jerry Brown, spent $36.5 million.

The FBI said that the "Geezer Bandit" robbed another bank on Friday, when an old man wearing a blazer hit a Bank of America branch in Goleta. There's a paltry $20,000 reward for information leading to his arrest.

The notorious tea party-backing, climate change-denying Koch brothers are hosting their semiannual secret meeting of 200 rich and powerful people this year in Palm Springs. There they will plot global domination and compare yachts. And no tweeting allowed!

A staffer from the LA mayor's gang reduction office was arrested today for assaulting a police officer. Oops.

In three more years, you literally will not be able to purchase a good old-fashioned light bulb any more. It'll be 100% twisty, pale CFL bulbs. Which, they now tell us, aren't as amazing as promised.

It's happened before, of course, and I'm not blaming anyone here, except maybe God. It must be very tempting, when you have this tiny, stupid little person hanging around your house, to make it do hilarious things like wear sunglasses, and smoke marijuana. Why not? You own your kid, more or less. It already loves dumb colorful TV shows. And your baby has so much free time!

At least three people have been wounded in a school shooting incident in Gardena, California, a town in Los Angeles County. All the victims are students, early reports suggest. Update: KTLA reports only two victims, says shooting was accidental.

Today in safe places: Compton, California, where murders are down by more than three-quarters in the past 20 years and old folks have returned to porch-sitting. The "gangster rap causes violence and not vice versa" theory is definitively disproven. [LAT]

There's something uniquely terrifying about the word 'superstorm.' Maybe it's the "super." Or the "storm." Either way, California might be utterly destroyed by a weeks-long superstorm one of these days, say scientists. Get your luxury canoes ready.

The LAPD is defending two of its officers, one of whom shot and killed an unarmed naked man, claiming self defense. The police union said cops have previously been "killed by naked people … who disarmed the officer."

Beware the "shirtless and squeezed into tight jeans ... hunky undercover" cop who's prowling Palm Springs's fertile gay breeding grounds, making busts. Locals are incensed about a series of indecent exposure arrests in what they view as their "gay mecca."