Imagine blowing through a stop sign, then getting Tasered eight times by cops for it? That's what happened to 43-year-old Allen Kephart in in Blue Jay, California this week. A San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman, Cindy Bachman, told the Los Angeles Times that Kephart was pulled over and "became combative and uncooperative." Then this happened:

The city council in Garden Grove, California, voted unanimously to ban naked waitresses in their coffee houses. Apparently these establishments, mostly in Orange County's Little Saigon neighborhood, have waitresses who wear see-through bras and panties which leave nothing to the imagination. And it gets better!

After 25 years of marriage, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have separated. Shriver, a journalist and Kennedy family member, moved out of the couple's mansion a few weeks ago while the two "work on the future of [their] relationship."

Orange County, California, GOP official Marilyn Davenport — who last month sent around an email with a family photo depicting President Obama as a chimpanzee — was censured yesterday by her colleagues in a 12-2 vote, which basically means nothing. State law says her racist emailing ways are not enough to get her shitcanned, so they went with a wrist slap that's most likely a Tea Party™ badge of honor, anyway. Orange County GOP honcho Scott Baugh told the OC Register:

If you're one of the kids who's spending the weekend trying to decide whether to go to Harvard next year or become a prison guard in one of California's luxurious prisons, you might check out the Wall Street Journal.

The trickle down from the financial crisis continues to wreak havoc on America, and the latest victim is our collective blood lust. The governor of broke ass California decided that building a $356 million, awe-inspiring new Death Row at San Quentin wasn't fiscally responsible. As it turns out, the construction costs, on top of just running the place, got way out of hand. From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Of course it's San Francisco — the same city that banned Happy Meals, plastic bags, tasering kids, sitting on the sidewalk and fun in general — that might vote on banning male circumcision in November. A collection of "intactivists" (ha, good one) proposing a ban submitted over 12,000 signatures to the city's Election Board yesterday, with 7,168 verified signatures required for the bill to go to a vote. They should know if the signatures are legit within a month.

California had near-record precipitation this year, and that's a great thing. But things could always take a turn for the worse — and they will, according to a new water study from the Department of the Interior.

To hear some on the political right talk about it, "homosexual indoctrination" is already a problem in public schools — and it's about to get much, much worse.

Peggy Scott Adams is a Grammy-nominated gospel singer and owner of the Robert L. Adams Mortuary in Compton, California, one of the few funeral homes in America that offers drive-thru open-casket displays. The Los Angeles Times profiled Adams this weekend and made a strangely entrancing video about her business.

The flash mob, once a novel and artistic construct used to make urban life that much more quirky and full of possibility, is now the subject of a Howie Mandel show. So it was only a matter of time before flash mobs degenerated into something ugly, violent, and antisocial. Yesterday, a shooting at Venice Beach sent crowds scattering. Why?

Jodie Foster bought this 7 bedroom, 8 bathroom ranch home in the hills back in 2005, started (and maybe didn't finish?) some renovations, and is now selling the place for almost $2 million more than she bought it for.

A bill passed the California Senate today that would mandate that all public schools teach gay history. It doesn't say how much history must be taught or at which grade, just that gays be added to the list of social and ethnic groups whose stories must be taught to schoolchildren.

There's a crisis brewing in California's local, organic, grass-fed, humanely slaughtered meat industry, man. Nice butchers are in short supply, forcing farmers and consumers to (gasp!) forgo their oath to the locavore movement and get their meat from hundreds of miles away.

The internet is agog and aghast today at news that Russian billionaire Yuri Milner has paid $100 million for an estate up in Silicon Valley's Los Altos Hills, making it the largest single-family property transaction in U.S. history. (Has anyone made the Lap Giraffes joke yet? Probably.) We know you've got questions, and we've got answers. Here's everything you want to know about the house that makes Candy Spelling's place look like a cramped studio apartment.

Animal rights group PETA has managed to find another stupid way to attract attention: They've asked the city of San Francisco to rename the Tenderloin neighborhood something more in line with the city's perceived eating habits. The group's suggestion? The Tempeh District, because "the city deserves a neighborhood named after a delicious cruelty-free food instead of the flesh of an abused animal," PETA VP Tracy Reiman wrote in a letter to San Francisco's mayor. Oh god. Too bad PETA got it wrong, though. "Tenderloin" was the term used for bribes given to cops in the area back when the neighborhood was still "gritty."

Headline News anchor Nancy Grace invited Accuweather meteorologist Bernie Rayno on her program last night to talk about the (very minimal) health threat that Japanese radiation poses to Californians.

John Krasinski, The Office's resident cute boy smirker, is selling his West Hollywood home for an adorably low $945k. Sure, he tried to sell it two years ago for $1.2 million, and likely already lives in a swankier pad, but still. Aww, look at cute Jim Halpert's modest little manse. [Realtor.com via Curbed]

Christina Aguilera, the singer currently in training to become the next reclusive former diva who acts erratically during rare public appearances, has put her 10,000 sq.ft. Beverly Hills mansion on the market for $13.5 million. It features six bedrooms and a ridiculous nine bathrooms, one of which is likely cursed and/or haunted. It's also likely that another bathroom has become Ms. Aguilera's de facto sleeping quarters. It's just how these things work. [Real Estalker]

The Japanese earthquake is having truly global effects. Rescue workers are searching for a California man who was washed into the sea by a tsunami when he was trying to take pictures of the incoming wave in northern California. Four others were swept off an Oregon beach earlier today, but managed to make it back to shore. The lesson for people living in beachfront communities on the West Coast? Stay inside and watch it on TV.