Fox News analyst and frequent Glenn Beck fill-in, Andrew Napolitano, recently went on CSPAN for an interview with Ralph Nader and said that George Bush and Dick Cheney should have been indicted "for torturing, for spying, for arresting without warrants."

Are you one of the many Americans who can't get enough of Mike Huckabee's weekly Fox News show on... whatever day it's on? Because he's trying out a new show that will air six days a week! It's all happening.

CNBC's Rick Santelli, whose 2009 rant calling for a "tea party" to protest government spending produced exactly that, is goin' nuts again. "STOP SPENDING STOP SPENDING," he screams, while another guest mumbles about cutting the capital gains tax. These people...

Joe Scarborough really hates House minority leader John Boehner. At least that's what came across on today's edition of Morning Joe, when he relentlessly pushed a Politico reporter into confirming his suspicion that Boehner is Washington's laziest barfly.

In your hateful Thursday media column: CNN staffers hate Eliot Spitzer, Newsweek hates China, a former Newsday editor moves to NY1, the NYT gets itself a fancy "Tumblr," and whites spotted on the teevee.

What happens when sex fiend Eliot Spitzer and Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker get together on CNN at 8 p.m.? They make out. No, they talk about politics 'n' stuff! Introducing your new CNN primetime debate show.

Fox News' Chris Wallace called Don Imus' show this morning to discuss mean old Helen Thomas, and the possibility of Fox News winning her vacant front-row seat. Then he suggests that Fox News is right-wing! What a bad company man.

Fox News will do anything to win Helen Thomas' front-row White House press room seat.

It's been more than a month and half since Donny Deutsch got booted from his 3 p.m. guest-hosting spot on MSNBC because of a segment that likened Keith Olbermann to "angry" conservative anchors like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. But it looks like Deutsch and the network are at peace.

Speculation about the relationship between Morning Joe's co-anchors is practically as old as the show itself, stoked by the pair's over-the-top on-air camaraderie. So give the New York Times magazine credit for whipping up some fresh innuendo about the pair.

Fox News' Glenn Beck might be a one-man $32 million media empire (books, radio shows, tours and more!) but what's going on with his marquee Fox News show?

The Los Angeles Times' Joe Flint reports that News Corp.-owned Fox News cable news ratings are still high above the competition. But Glenn Beck's total number of viewers are down by almost 30%, from 2.9 million in January to 2.1 million in April.

What was on Fox Business when the biggest finance story in months—the civil lawsuit filed against Goldman Sachs by the SEC—broke this morning? An interview with Tila Tequila on "how she turned her fame into a business." [BI]

In your surrogate Friday media column: Anderson Cooper tries on a studio audience, magazine ads continue to plummet, Crazy Rupert Murdoch has dealzzzz, Oprah buries Kitty Kelly's tell-all, and New York's most loathsome bromantic couple launch a "media scene" lunchspot.

Eliot Spitzer played anchor on MSNBC yesterday and he'll guest host again today. But the attention-hungry ex-governor hasn't locked in a full-time job—yet: "At this point there are no plans for anything more than these two days." [NYT]

Hey, you hear about this Kyrgyzstan thing? Their whole freakin' government got overthrown! But Kyra Phillips—the CNN anchor who most reminds us of our best high school friend's mom—really does not care about Kyrgyzstan.

In your hot hot Wednesday media column: a (relative) tidal wave of journalism jobs, a plan to save CNN, a publisher goes bankrupt, and Conde poaches Elle's branding mastermind.

In your proxy Friday media column: MSNBC's David Shuster shot a pilot for CNN, Barack Obama demands (metaphorical!) oral sex from reporters, Smithsonian magazine stiffs a war-damaged correspondent, and losing just $80 million means you're Publisher of the Year.

First-quarter Nielsen ratings are out, and everyone is talking about CNN's (continued) primetime ratings free-fall. While Fox News remains No. 1, MSNBC and CNN's sister network HLN are now regularly outperforming The Coop and his cohorts.

The last time we checked, the number one goal of a television network was to get the best ratings possible. Employing a suspender-laced geriatric is not high on the list. When will CNN realize this and fire Larry King?

CNN, America's Favorite Source of Dumb Guys Reading Twitter Out Loud, has signed conservative blogger Erick Erickson to their "Best Political Team." This is a wonderful hire, as it provides yet another excuse to avoid CNN entirely.