My main takeaway from the Age of Swatting was that the art of pranking had gone stale. Teenagers too smart for their own good had essentially uncovered a red button that, when pushed could, without a trace, send a SWAT team to the house of any random person or celebrity. How boring!

NBC 5 News has obtained screengrabs of interior video footage from the Burger King near where police shot and killed Laquan McDonald last year, appearing to show Chicago police at a computer terminal the night of the shooting. Over an hour of footage is missing from the store’s security video.

There was surveillance footage of the fatal encounter between Chicago police officer Jason Van Dyke and a teenage suspect in the parking lot of a Burger King—until the cops came and a substantial portion of the video mysteriously vanished, a restaurant manager says.

America’s favorite fast food nightmare burger now comes with a limited-time bonus side dish in the form of mild digestive problems. To match the spooky black bun of the Halloween Whopper, customers’ excrement has been turning an equally spooky shade of green.

Roger Waters once wrote, "Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are." Was he talking about this pig who took over a Burger King in southwestern Pennsylvania on Thursday morning? He wasn't—he was talking about capitalism, or something about how you shouldn't trust authority, or maybe social inequality. Still, though, check out this pig.

Ugh, Burger King messed up a New Hampshire woman's order again this week, putting a $2,631 cash drop in her bag instead of the Spicy Crispy Chicken Jr. and sweet tea she asked for.

Today I saw the following Burger King (@BurgerKing) tweet promoted into my Twitter feed.

"You may abandon your own body, but you must preserve your honor." - Miyamoto Musashi, A Book of Five Rings

Tim Hortons, the Canadian coffee-and-doughnut restaurant that recently agreed to be bought by America's third-or-fourth-greatest burger chain, Burger King, has revealed their first attempt in assimilating into our brilliant American culture by imagineering the Buffalo Crunch doughnut. Give me a fuckin break!!!

Burger King is quietly phasing out its lower-calorie "Satisfries" after less than a year, because—let's face it—this is America.

Burger King, purveyor of burgers for breakfast and other starchy goodness, is abandoning its "Have It Your Way" slogan after 40 years and ungodly amounts of Whoppers.

Police in South Carolina say that a woman threatened to shoot everyone in a Burger King restaurant after she was served a stale cinnamon roll. (Shocking not only because of the obvious, but also because "stale cinnamon roll" is still a fairly appetizing phrase.)

Burger King today announced that it will serve its burgers for breakfast now, as part of their new corporate philosophy, "Why try harder than absolutely necessary when the American people want nothing more than to eat themselves into oblivion to erase the pain of being locked into this zombie-like existence?"

In an attempt to boost sales through social media buzz and to advertise a chicken product they've created, Burger King is bringing back its bizarre "Subservient Chicken" campaign, originally launched in 2004.

When Kanye West runs out to pick up some Burger King for Kim Kardashian, he does it big. The rapper is reportedly planning to buy his fiancée a 10-piece order of European Burger King franchises to celebrate their wedding.

A grandmother nearly ended up weeping into her Whopper after a Burger King employee called her and her daughter-in-law "bitch ass hoes" on a receipt.

Burger King, the fantastic land where you can find weed and razor blades in your burger, will begin selling “Satisfries” Tuesday, a crinkle-cut french fry with 20 percent fewer calories than their regular french fries. A small order of Satisfries will contain 270 calories as opposed to a 350-calorie small order of their regular fatty-fat fries.

While some people might appreciate finding a pre-packed bowl in their fast food bag, others, like the parents of a four-year-old child, might not be so thrilled. The latter was the case Tuesday night, when a Michigan family discovered a pot-filled pipe in their toddler's Burger King Kids Meal box.

Yolanda Orozco of Willits, California, says she definitely recalls ordering a Burger King cheeseburger without onions, but doesn't remember asking for extra razor blades.

Don't you hate it when you want to eat your mouth-watering Burger King Whopper, but find that your pesky hands are doing something else entirely?