After a long and celebrated career on stage and screen, Celeste Holm died today at 95.

There are two sides to every story — and usually considerably more than that — but part of the thrill of a one-man show is being able to tell only yours.

On last night's episode of NBC's enfeebled, Broadway-adoring show Smash, Uma Thurman dropped by to give the show within a show some star power. I suppose her presence was to benefit Smash itself, but didn't work, as the episode brought Smash to a series low in ratings. Poor Uma. Slumming it on TV in TV's actual slums.

Director Julie Taymor has taken to court to prove she was the victim of a conspiracy against her while working on Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. Taymor was fired from the seemingly cursed show after a series of delays and accidents. According to Taymor, none of that was her fault.

Today Phantom of the Opera makes musical theater history with its 10,000th performance. That's 10,000 soprano near-murders, 10,000 disfigured face reveals, and 10,000 performances of a love song with seriously nonconsensual undertones.

Today news broke that there is a team working on bringing Back to the Future to the Broadway stage. That is an awful idea. There are so many better movies that they could transfer.

Desperate for a hit, NBC is doing everything it can to make people watch Smash, their making-of-a-Broadway-musical drama. They're hyping it to The Voice levels of annoyance, they're putting it on the Monday after the Super Bowl, and they're making it available for free on iTunes right now! So, I watched the show. Just like a Broadway hoofer, it's brilliant...and a bit of a mess.

In its attempt to gloss over every movie you ever loved with forgettable songs, silly plot reimaginings, and sentimental nostalgia, Broadway is now bringing over Ghost: The Musical from London. Based on this snippet, it looks pretty damn bad.

The Book of Mormon is Broadway's hottest ticket, so it seemed fitting that the guys behind the show, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, would come up with a musical-themed episode of South Park this season. They did just that tonight with a story about how going to Broadway musicals encourages women to perform oral sex. Odd! But as you'll see in this clip of highlights, that was just the tip of the iceberg.

A show about Chicago's famous Playboy Club debuted last night and it was... not good. Also today: A movie heads to Broadway, Disney gets a whole new land, and Charlie Sheen is a hit.

The jokers in La La Land are going after yet another childhood favorite. Also today: good news for two TV shows, great news for two actors, and sexy news for theatergoers.

Phat actress Kirstie Alley has a new TV show in the works, so she is a working actress again! Also today: Saturday Night Live lands some funny hosts, Lauren Ambrose takes a big musical role, and Ashton Kutcher is sad and rich.

It seems that NBC has realized that Maya Rudolph is funny and would like to see more of her. Also today: John McClane rides again, as does Lucy Liu, and Darren Criss is going to set Broadway aflame.

It was supposed to have been a bittersweet and quietly contemplative week for Glenn Beck, whose final Fox News Channel show aired today. Of course, all that was derailed by that senseless incident at Bryant Park, when his entire family was swept away by a wave of Cabernet Sauvignon released from a crop duster by an insane liberal. (Or else a plastic cup of wine tipped over. Reports were conflicting.)

Any news story about a fatality on the Great White Way should instantly bring to mind everyone's favorite web slinger, but while Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark has maimed many, it has yet to actually kill anyone. (And let's hope it stays that way.) But it's another musical — the far less death-defying revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying — that had to contend with the sad loss of a crew member on Wednesday night, just minutes before the curtain went up on its 100th performance.

The Broadway shitsplosion Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark finally, finally, officially opened last night, meaning this morning the (new) reviews came in. So where'd all that tweaking and Julie Taymor firing get them? Nowhere good, it seems.

Disastrous Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark finally, really, actually opened, believe it or not. No one died, or anything! Guess who showed up? Julie Taymor, the director who was forced out by producers just a few months ago.

Those mathematicians at the New York Times got out their abacuses (abaci?) and figured out just how much a Tony win is worth for a Broadway musical. You'd think that the least watched of all awards shows wouldn't make a huge impact—-and you would be wrong.

After a nearly month-long hiatus for retooling, the beleaguered Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark Broadway musicale resumed performances last night, and they didn't fuck up once! Well, that's not true. There were a few oopses, but mostly it sounds as though things went smoothly.

With her chat show ending on May 25th, world's most powerful woman Oprah Winfrey has her eyes set on the Great White Way. It's long been a dream of hers to perform on Broadway, and soon it will become a terrifying reality.