What is wrong with Anne Hathaway's pants? A few Charlie Sheen tidbits. New Kid on the Block Jonathan Knight officially comes out. Come, explore Prince William and Kate Middleton's Scotland. Sunday Gossip Roundup makes it all better.

Lindsay Lohan gets a "tripped out effect" from sunglasses lined with flashing lights. James Franco has a sex tape. Rihanna's purported lesbian lover speaks. Montana Fishburne pretends to drink bleach. Tuesday gossip is a rave.

John Travolta sings show tunes to his new son. Kate Hudson is pregnant. Tia Mowry is pregnant. Olivia Munn's see-through panties are getting people worked up. Wednesday gossip is all babies, all the time, with a side of sex.

Owen Wilson, Marion Cotillard, and Jewel are having babies. Kanye got his album cover banned on purpose. Michael Douglas beats cancer. Andy Dick gets kicked out of the Oscars of porn. Tuesday gossip giggles and coos.

After a demo version leaked last week, Britney Spears' dry-humping anthem "Hold It Against Me" is officially out.

Britney Spears recently tweeted, "Heard an early demo of my new single leaked. If u think that's good, wait til you hear the real one Tuesday." That means this song, "Hold It Against Me," is actually her new single.

It looks like Lohan might not face criminal charges for her rehab assault kerfuffle. Lindsay's spirit sister Demi Lovato has reached similar peace in her life. Zac Efron has shaved his hair and it is sad. Britney Spears shops.

Paparazzi terrorize Britney, who just wants to shop. 12-year-old Jaden Smith gets his first bodyguard. Lindsay Lohan's driving privileges are restored. Milli Vanilli star works on weird comeback. Wednesday gossip makes a list and checks it twice.

Christina Hendricks' Christmas tradition is destined for raunchy jokes. Chelsea Handler called Angelina the c-word. Michelle Williams gained 15 pounds for a role, and reveals her un-diet secrets. (Ice cream.) Monday gossip slips a sable under the tree.

Britney Spears (or her imposter) might be a big stoner. Halle Berry's boyfriend gets in trouble with the law. Charlie Sheen tracks down his hooker-snatched watch. Saturday Gossip Roundup is backing over paparazzis like it's Grand Theft Auto IV.

Britney Spears' ex-husband allegedly has an audio tape of Spears saying her new boyfriend beats her. She recently tweeted in response to the allegations, and TMZ breaks down the story here. The video, and a link to the tweet, inside.

Today Star reported that Britney Spears' ex-husband Jason Alexander had a phone conversation about current boyfriend Jason Trawick "beat on me." Hours later, Radar published audio of the alleged conversation. But Britney's lawyers say it's all a fake.

Star accuses Britney Spears' boyfriend of giving her a black eye, and Radar has audio of a voice they say is Britney's talking about it. Both outlets' source? Jason Alexander, the guy Britney accidentally married in Las Vegas in 2004.

Britney and Jamie Lynn give thanks for french fries. "Kim Kardashian is dead," but it's only a publicity stunt. Portia de Rossi walks all over Ricky Martin. Monday gossip is sick of leftover turkey.

And why are birthdays such polarizing affairs? Did Jessica Simpson buy her own engagement ring? Did Britney's insanity make her parents fall back in love? Tuesday gossip is a toddler who keeps asking, "Why?"

Kanye West confirms that a picture of his giant penis is real. Courtney Love is obsessed with her Wikipedia page. Lil' Wayne gets out of prison. Thursday gossip proudly lets it all hang out.

Kim Kardashian shifts the attention from her ass to her feet. Pink advocates "beat[ing] the crap outta kids." Brett Michaels denies boinking Miley's mom. Demi Lovato's dad bemoans Disney. The bigger Wednesday gossip gets, the harder it falls.

[Britney Spears drinks a Starbucks iced coffee in Calabasas, California. Photo via Splash]

[Britney Spears goes shopping in Santa Monica. She knows the back of her head will be featured on a hundred gossip blogs every time she wears her hair down, right? Images via Pacific Coast News & INF.]

Gisele singlehandedly keeps a party alive by whispering sweet nothings. Britney's conservatorship is phasing out. Kelly Osbourne sees herself in a bikini and cries. John Oliver gets engaged. Monday gossip is impervious to seduction.